How to ask for what you need in relationships?
4 Answers to "How to ask for what you need in relationships?"
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Open and honest communications are vital for any intimate relationship. That means you sometimes will leave yourself open and vulnerable in order to get what you want. Other times, you'll have to play the give and take game.
Unfortunately, we're told that if we ask for what we want, we're being selfish. I don't believe so. I call it being assertive. It's possible to assert your wants and needs without coming across as a total jerk. So, don't be afraid to ask for what you need.Like (2)
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Say I'm hungry
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If I knew your gender, I could answer easier, but the general answer is to start with talking about a similar emotional situation that the other person feels, so they are set up to relate to how you feels about a situation. Then transition by saying ..."that's how I feel when you xxxx". It takes them from just hearing your words to hearing your emotions. Good luck
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Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by FrozenGuy Dec 15th, 2012 at 9:02AM
The first priority should be to understand the expectations that "currently" exist in the relationship. What do you expect and what does the other expect from this relationship? Are these expectations clearly understood by both you and the other person, or just vague?
If you are not sure how the other person will respond to a request for something, or whether they are even open to the possibility, then you need to more clearly understand what your relationship is about and what the current boundaries are. Sometimes, you can accomplish this through having honest discussions, and other times you just need to observe the relationship over a longer period of time, so you have a better feel for what it is about or how it is evolving. Then, you will more clearly understand what you can ask for, without feeling guilty for asking or worried about rejection (ideally anyway).
However, some relationships remain vague, since not everyone is clear about what they expect, what they want, what they are willing to give, and what their boundaries are. So, sometimes you just need to take the risk of asking for something, without knowing how the other person will respond. It depends on what you are willing risk by asking. If the possible rejection would be too much for you to handle, then I would wait until you understand the relationship better.
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