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How to deal with a controlling, Pushy, manipulative Mother In Law who lies and never says ''sorry'' =.= ?

Thought of throwing her from a bridge :P but Dont want to go to jail !!

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6 Answers to "How to deal with a controlling, Pushy, manipulative Mother In Law who lies and never says ''sorry'' =.= ?"

  1. nevergoodenuf - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by nevergoodenuf Jul 2nd, 2012 at 5:01AM

    I am a mother in law and my DIL doesn't speak to me. If I tried to talk with her, I was "too pushy." Now I am "uninvolved." Not saying this is your fault. Sadly it seems to be a lose-lose situation. Have you talk to your hubby? She is his mom and you don't want to make him feel like he has to choose. (although he already did when he married you!) I would just encourage him to have a good relationship with her, be polite, there when she needs you, but not get more involved than you have to.

    Like (2)

  2. laughinkatt - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by laughinkatt Jul 2nd, 2012 at 5:03AM

    "I would just encourage him to have a good relationship with her, be polite, there when she needs you, but not get more involved than you have to." This!

    Like (1)

  3. DarkAngel80 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by DarkAngel80 Jul 2nd, 2012 at 5:10AM

    Thanks for your replay. I tried to be polite, nice, sweet. But she keeps telling me that i bring all the negative things !! she advised my husband to divorce me but even though he doesnt stand up for him self or me he listens !! she acts weird when we dont share details of our relationship our marriage !! she says he is her son and its her duty to know every lil thing about him. thanx again

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  4. justlettingyouknow - 31-35 years old

    Posted by justlettingyouknow Jan 3rd, 2013 at 8:32AM

    Most inportant thing is to not let her bug you. She will know how to push your buttons and will. When she says or does negative things to you laugh or call her out. If she is truly manipulative she has lost her power over you straight away. Unless you are manipulative yourself you will not be able to beat her at her own game so end it. And never argue with your partner about it etc it will give her more of a chance to interfere. Trust me.

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  5. Noodles275 - 26-30 years old

    Posted by Noodles275 Sep 4th, 2012 at 3:22AM

    Im in a similar situation - my ma in law started off being nice but pushy and now is downright rude and offensive. She has a huge chip on her shoulder and its clear she see's me as an extension of her family because as my own person she couldnt conceive someone who would stand up to her. She actually sneakily deceived me into continuing with a pregnancy that made me miserable and nearly killed baby and I, moving towns to find a cheaper rent - that happens to be in the middle of nowhere and is down the road from her - and she uses money to control our lives. Ive told my husband over and over that her behaviour is not acceptable, it even makes me suicidle.... I guess just sticking to your guns and putting the responsibility back onto your husband is all you can do. I dont know about you but when I married I didnt agree to give up my independence, my career, my happiness or my personality so that some threatened old bat could bully me for the rest of my days. As for livibg with her ... Leave now.

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  6. highlander1999 - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by highlander1999 Jul 2nd, 2012 at 5:27AM

    try stay away much as possable. don t cut her up to much to your spouce. as hard as it is. and don t let her get to you get thicker skin. my mother in law hated me for years she now loves me. i just remind my self i married my wife not her. and not wifes fault her ma nuts!

    Like (1)

  7. DarkAngel80 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by DarkAngel80 Jul 2nd, 2012 at 6:20AM

    Thank you and happy for you that your MIL loves you now (: there is a hope after all i guess.

    Like (1)

  8. highlander1999 - 51-55 years old - male

    Reply by highlander1999 Jul 2nd, 2012 at 8:56PM

    beleave me she hated me for lot years!!! i took her only daughter and moved to anther state and did lot other horable things. she beleaved

    Like (1)

  9. 5hadow - 51-55 years old

    Posted by 5hadow Jul 2nd, 2012 at 4:56AM

    either ignore her, don't spend time with her or have your spouse deal with her.

    lastly, get a new one.

    Like (1)

  10. DarkAngel80 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by DarkAngel80 Jul 2nd, 2012 at 5:15AM

    The bad part of all of this is that we live with her at the moment .. Was a very bad choice to make ! I do completely ignore her and my husband tries too. but she keeps calling me to sit and talk ! I recently lock my self in my room the whole day when ever i am home and when my husband is gone for work. Thanks

    Like (1)

  11. 5hadow - 51-55 years old

    Reply by 5hadow Jul 2nd, 2012 at 5:36AM

    *sigh* I kind of expected as much :( I'm also going to guess that you two are fairly newly married. Spouses frequently come with in-laws. Living with them can pose some unique challenges (as you are learning). Pushy and manipulative are common traits, without knowing more, I'd say she is trying to be helpful even if it doesn't appear that way. Do you work or go to school or are you tending to a baby? Here is what I suggest, try to organize your day, and leave time for her "talks" and input. Be time specific, let her know that you can allot her "X" amount of time, between the hours or (for example) 12-2 pm (so lunch will be included and make it more bearable). Any other time should be greeted with "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to talk now, lets do this tomorrow". The 'let do this tomorrow' is very important, I won't go into the psychology of it. Always remember (as I expect you're living rent free) her house, her rules. That doesn't mean you should have to be constantly peppered with her input.

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  12. maddogtel - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by maddogtel Jul 2nd, 2012 at 4:56AM

    Try and have little contact with her. You try being the same to her.

    Like (1)

  13. DarkAngel80 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by DarkAngel80 Jul 2nd, 2012 at 5:15AM

    Thanks

    Like (1)

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