There are a number of things you could do to help with social anxiety and being shy. Since I have it, here's some tips:
First, why so shy and anxious? People are so unpredictible. They can look at you and say nasty things about you. They can physically hurt you, though it's not being accpted that hurts the most. The more people, the worse it gets because they can see your faults, catch you off guard and you could look like a fool in a conversation. Trying to befriend someone means opening up and being yourself and they might not like you and can, either tell you, or just show you their disappointment by their face or body laungage.
And, it hurts not being accepted... becasue you know you are just not good enough. Yes, you can reason it out as much as you want and even coem up with ideas to that confirm that you ARE NOT THAT BAD. Yet, the feelings are there. Just not good enough.
Is that you? It is me, too. So, you are not alone.
1. Psychiatrists. These are the people who give you meds. The meds do NOT cure you. They just make you feel comfortable by blocking anxiety. Nothing is solved... just a comfortable feeling.
2. Therapist. This person you can talk to and tell them how you feel, what's happening in your life and pin point why you feel so bad. Then, they can help you understand yourself and give you ideas on how to combat anxiety. Not just anxiety...YOUR anxiety. That's there job.
3. Group... Called group therapy allows you to know you are not alone. There are others like you... and they can help you help yourself. By listening to them you can find things to do for yourself... and feel included.
I learned for me it is all about how I view myself. I have very low self-esteme... created that way in my upbringing and something that runs in the family. People might look at you wrong or you might say something wrong... yet, everyday you have to see people and you get by... why? What do you do? Most of the time, you know what to do and do it well, yet, it's hard to figure out what. Knowing you are already doing what needs to be done most of the time helps you know that you have the emchanisizms to fight anxiety.
There are skills to develope to help you. Ways to understand it. These skills if you do them enough can help you. You can PM me if you need them... for it takes time to explain them. From thought redirection to "step" plans that can help.
All of them I found from therapy. So, I would recommend a therapist. Don't be hesetant to ask me stuff... OK? Some of us sufferers are a wealth of information. Not just another therapist, but people just like you...who are concerned.
go to the bar and drink heavily - - just like the rest of us.....
haha best remedy... ;)
dont beat yourself up about it.. some people at my work are real social buterflies but used to be shy. it will come with practice talking to people better. but your natural temprement is ok. theys no pressure to having to talk all the time. most people talk too much because they are afraid of the silences and dont think before opening their mouth. just take a convo with your colleagues one step at a time and let it have a life of its own
I also get anxious and quite, im thinking valium to stop the anxiety ,....for the quite thing ,you say you love yourself which is great so I suppose dont be afraid to let yourself be vunerable, express yourself ,be strong and realise the majority of people will love you and not judge.
You have to embrace it - in fact you have to accept that you are embracing it and you are living with the anxiety. The more you do it the less the anxiety will affect you and it will eventually go completely
You are going to have to realize you are the only person making the decisions you think best and that everyone else is stuck in this same situation. When you realize we are all just people, you won't worry so much anymore.
Log off and go outside.