Assuming that there is a one size fits all answer to those questions is the first mistake you're making......
Give her control. Sex is all about control-giving it and getting it. Quit trying to please her and let her please herself. She might teach you a few things. After she's taken care of herself, she'll let you have the control to do anything you want to her. ;)
one way is to leave them alone when the don't wanna
There's one in the armpits.
The golden rule applies .. do unto her as you would have done unto you . :) Forget trying to find a G spot.
All women are different. The **** is the normal, and is pretty universal, and many, but not all, women have a G-spot. Push your fingers in and up, towards her belly button. But, as I said, that spot isn't effective for all women.