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How would you cope with being disowned by family?

I am helping this young girl at church who was disowned by family.

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14 Answers to "How would you cope with being disowned by family?"

  1. WildSpectrumArts - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by WildSpectrumArts Jun 8th, 2012 at 10:49PM

    You move on. God gives you a family that you are born into. They are there to help you become self-reliant. It is nice when they are supportive but not all families have cultivated the skill of nurturing each other. God gives us friends, some of which we love like family, so that we can be happy with the choices we make in our life and get the support we need to cultivate ourselves. She needs to learn to cultivate her family of one until she chooses to add people to her family.

    Like (3)

  2. 3grnowl - 26-30 years old

    Posted by 3grnowl Jun 8th, 2012 at 4:51AM

    Become more awesome then my family ever was.

    Like (3)

  3. nelladell - 70+ years old - female

    Reply by nelladell Jun 8th, 2012 at 4:52AM

    :)

    Like (1)

  4. bronica - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by bronica Jun 9th, 2012 at 2:58PM

    My family don't wanted me .
    I have bipolar and i am differnet.
    And they can not handly the way I acted
    some time.
    And some time at the time i can not help it.
    And so my family has walked way .
    My Parents were live.
    They really did not wanted me .

    And it is sad that family do that .
    When you need them the most.

    Good luck to help this girl

    Like (2)

  5. Lenarenee - 46-50 years old

    Posted by Lenarenee Jun 8th, 2012 at 9:10PM

    Sounds like (whether she was put into foster care willingly by her family, or taken away by law, that this really doesn't have to do with her personally.

    In either of the situations, having a blood relative in foster causes many strong feelings: guilt, shame, blame, grief, confusion, anger, rage, helplessness, hopelessness, loss (even if the family was dysfunctional).

    By turning her attempt to reconnect with them down, they may simply be trying
    to keep the memory of those feelings, and the events that took her to foster care
    away.

    Is she a young adult? I bet she's blaming herself. She is not to blame for their
    lack of ability to deal with the situation. If I could, I would tell her that a thousand times every day!!! She is not to blame for their lack of ability to take her back. It's not because she's not lovable, or good enough.

    The problem lies with them.

    She, however, can think about find a small way to keep trying to test the family waters......there may be a time a year, two, or five years from now where they
    will mature enough to welcome her back. Perhaps a letter or greeting card once
    a year, with a simple sentence of "I'm thinking of you and hope all is well."

    Not. Her. Fault.

    Thanks for trying to help her!!

    Like (2)

  6. onwayout - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by onwayout Jun 8th, 2012 at 11:00AM

    The best thing you can do to help her cope is treat her with love and kindness and make her feel welcome.
    I am disowned by my family. I have days of extreme sadness and days where I am fine. Days where it hurts terribly and days when I know I'm better off. Life doesn't just sit still. You have to find ways to deal with it. It can be agonizing difficult, but life really does go on.

    Like (2)

  7. AnonymousGuy5583 - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by AnonymousGuy5583 Jun 8th, 2012 at 5:32AM

    The best thing you can do, is move far away and start your own life. I moved 7000 miles away and found a better life than I could imagine. Better off without them.

    Like (2)

  8. tyjen - 61-65 years old - female

    Posted by tyjen Jun 8th, 2012 at 4:57AM

    its very difficult to cope...my younger daughter had disowned me her siblings and her neices...her last message to me when i tried to build bridges over a year ago was ''do not ever contact me again'' i have respected her wishes and it hurts like hell...i have no idea where she is i dont even have a phone number or contact with any of her friends...i hope when she has kids of her own they do the same to her so she knows how it feels...

    Like (2)

  9. AncientTurkey - 66-70 years old - female

    Reply by AncientTurkey Jun 8th, 2012 at 4:59AM

    That's awful. I will pray for your family to have peace.

    Like (1)

  10. allister777 - 36-40 years old

    Posted by allister777 Jan 2nd, 2013 at 3:54AM

    INSTEAD OF ACKNOWLEDGING THE GOOD ABOUT THEM AND IGNORING THE BAD OUT OF LOVE,I FLIPPED IT INSIDE OUT IN MY MIND AND REALIZED THAT IM SOOOO MUCH BETTER OF WITH OUT SHALLOW,HYPOCRITICAL,FAIRWEATHER MINDED SOUL SUCKERS.USED TO HURT.NOW ITS A SMIRK,A SIGH AND A SHAKE OF THE HEAD AND MOVE ON.BESIDES,WE ARE ALLLL IN THIS ALONE. ANYWAY. GOD BLESS

    Like (1)

  11. Wildfire42 - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by Wildfire42 Nov 4th, 2012 at 1:56AM

    Well first of all, All the names of the disowning family members are forever banned from consideration as baby names. No Grandparent Visitation. They rejected you, chances are they aren't willing or able to love any of your children.

    Family is then written out of the will, they will never get anything ever. They made that decision to disown, let them be lonely.

    Best/ Close friends are then elevated to Honorary Family , because they have proven to be good to you. My best friends then become My Brothers for all intents and purposes.

    Find more friends to hang out with. Many times, good friends can be better to you than your own flesh and blood.

    Leave the area, never look back. They will just be somebody that I used to know.

    Like (1)

  12. Mrsvalkyrie - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by Mrsvalkyrie Jun 8th, 2012 at 7:24AM

    They didn't disown me,I disowned them! Because of their greed and ruthlessness.now they're trying to come back into my life.my dad the main culprit now calls and we do talk little and my neice who is my daughter in law too!don't ask!!

    Like (1)

  13. AncientTurkey - 66-70 years old - female

    Reply by AncientTurkey Jun 10th, 2012 at 3:34AM

    Greed can corrupt a family.

    Like (1)

  14. mikepowell - 51-55 years old

    Posted by mikepowell Jun 8th, 2012 at 5:28AM

    iv never been happier i dont like my family the less i see them the better its there loss

    Like (1)

  15. inspiration1 - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by inspiration1 Jun 8th, 2012 at 5:28AM

    By trying to prove my worth.

    Like (1)

  16. c4711 - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by c4711 Jun 8th, 2012 at 5:13AM

    Just because you are born into a family doesn't mean you have to like or even love them, maybe this is an opportunity for this girl to find herself away from a bad situation. Just support her where you can and more importantly listen to her and remember nobody has all the answers.

    Like (1)

  17. AncientTurkey - 66-70 years old - female

    Reply by AncientTurkey Jun 8th, 2012 at 5:15AM

    Sounds good. They are sour with her because when she came out of foster homes, she tried to reunite with them.

    Like (1)

  18. c4711 - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by c4711 Jun 8th, 2012 at 5:18AM

    sometimes the cloud is the silver lining, it just seems like its not. Finding a therapist for her to talk to maight be a good idea too.

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  19. tenente - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by tenente Jun 8th, 2012 at 4:58AM

    being alone is where everyone starts. embrace the fact the family that was is no more and a new life starts now. establish proper role models and a network of friends who will not judge and will support her. define achievable life goals and objectives to focus energy towards. always be confident in the fact you belong in this universe and no one can take that away.

    Like (1)

  20. AncientTurkey - 66-70 years old - female

    Reply by AncientTurkey Jun 8th, 2012 at 5:01AM

    What good advice. I will copy this to show her.

    Like (1)

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