I would just ignore it and not spend much time around them.

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I concur. But also try to tell them that their negative attitude towards the family is really affecting the relationships, and warn them that if it continues, you will not put up with it anymore. Show them how they are treating strangers with more respect than their own family, and tell them it's not right. Just so you have a bit of the other side's perspective, my brother was once giving me flack for doing something, while he said nothing to one of our friends was also doing it. I asked him, why he's harassing me and not also the friend. He said it's because he doesn't care about the friend, but cares about me. Of course there's some truth into this, but that does not give them the right to try and dictate our lives and put us down everytime we do something.

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Yeah, that is what I do. thanks =)

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Honestly, this might not be a good idea, but i can imagine myself getting pissed off. If they were faking being nice people, that sounds kind of manipulative. I wouldn't like that and probably confront them about it and maybe tell the other people. Might be a dumb idea, but i have a tendency to do dumb things lol.

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My Dad was the same. I learned to ignore him and get on with my life. Funnily enough, he improved as he got older.

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Tell them too go back too their house

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=( I'm living with my parents due to my divorce, being a single mom and going to school full time. That's not gonna work.

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Keep your distance. Talk ONLY when you MUST. Act BUSY all the time. Take your kids with you when you get chances to escape. Less time around her is MORE better for you: It will ALL come to pass...eventually.

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I had this exact situation. I completely cut them out of my life and never spoke to them again.

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You know what? I get along very well with grumpy old men. I think they're hilarious. You might try handling it with humor. Smile whenever you see him and give him a big "Hi, Daddy. Do anything interesting today?" or (innocently) "Did I do or say something to irritate you? I'm sorry." But my favorite thing to do is put some M&M's or Skittles in a small clear container and label it like a presc<x>ription, hand it to him and say, "Here, Daddy, you seem a little grumpy. I bought you a bottle of Dammitol." Believe me, if you're happy and cheerful every time you are around him, he will respond. You have to make over him even if you've had a bad day, too. I know you are backed into a corner, so you have to tread lightly.

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problem is most people do this, so good luck getting any real answer

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My step dad is like that. I didn't cope. I still hate him to this day. I asked a similar question to this :-)

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family ...source of the greatest happiness and deepest grief.Part of life however..guard against becoming bitter<br />
always bless (look for the positive things about your parents)parents are human too<br />
they always expect more from their own children and their greatest failure is their own parenting.

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You need to straight up tell them you feel that they are grumpy and judgemental of you. Maybe they can't see the situation likeyou do.

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People tend to treat the ones around them badly because they can. They are hypocrites. Tell it like it is, call him out on it - if he really loves you & doesn't want to lose you, he'll pay attention. <br />
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I had a friend who's boyfriend liked to tell Pinocchio stories to everyone - she would call him out, right there in front of everyone! " you're such a liar, you didn't catch an award winning musky, more like the worlds smallest minnow!" It was great!

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Just take walks to help get out of the house from time to time. It will help. I know what you mean and yeah it can be hard to deal with.

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Accept that he will never change. I am sure this situation is stressing him out too. <br />
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Even if it was less your fault perhaps than you former husband, you still failed at marriage and I sure that is painful for him too, and he is unhappy , maybe depressed person. <br />
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You do have a choice. I had to take out student loans and work, as well as go to school without any help. I used to be envious of people who had parents to turn to. I had two children with me. It was very difficult, painful time. Some of us do not.

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This story seems incomplete. You side sounds tortured. Their side is unheard. Is there anyone, friend, minister, trusted relative, neighbor who might be of help without worsening the situation? Your school counselor may have some experience. Clearly you need need some kind of intermediary. Good luck!

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Well, seeing how I'm 37, I think a school counselor is out of the question, lol. Not sure how to better explain my father. He's a grump. He's never happy. Only time I see him happy is when he's talking to a stranger or someone outside our house. As soon as he walks thru the doors....his attitude changes. Very rarely do I see him smile or laugh. He's just a grump all the time.

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I'm 65 and I know the type. He really needs a good bar buddy to listen to his side and explain that nobody wants to be around a constant complainer.

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will you be my dad's good bar buddy? ;-)

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Never had an online drinking buddy, but am willing to try.

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hahaha..You're the best...thanks! ;-)

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That's the nicest thing anybody has said to me this month. Just remember the latin phrase "in vino veritas" In wine there is truth. It might help get to the bottom of the problem more than a whole season of Dr. Phil episodes. Good luck and Merry Christmas!!

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Awww people should say nice things to you more often. Thank you for you advice and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas too. =)

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I have this scenario (personally) . There isn't anything I can offer, except acceptance ...

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I guess you're right. When I'm not living here...acceptance will be so much easier. lol

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Here?

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I'm mean..when I'm not living with my parents. I moved in with them after a nasty divorce, I'm a single mom and going to schoo full time.

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I have a family member that can be Ninja at mowing you down verbally and answer the phone and sound like SnowWhite. I have another who can be the Embassedor to goodwill to all John Q Public and a tyrant towards loved ones. Its odd. All you can do is realize (Vanity) is gross, and most at one point or another fall into this at one time or another.

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Sounds like my Mom she's just firmer when it comes to me and my sibs she doesn't know how to stop being a Mom I just blow it off

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I dont' want my dad to stop being dad...I just want respect...kindness...smiles and laughter. Is that really asking too much? I have made sure i will NEVER treat my kids that way.

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I think he probably has a hard time acknowledging you're a grown up

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yeah, maybe. but now I have a hard time seeing any future relationship with him due to his actions now. =(

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I say the same thing about my family at times but they're family they are suppose to upset you

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I believe families are suppose to be real and honest with you...but not be mean. I won't be that way with my kids...

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I think most of us expect too much from family if you're around annoy one long enough they'll start to annoy you

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You know...we could debate this all night, lol!!

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yeah I learned how to debate well from my family

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Me too!! Are you sure we aren't related? lol

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God I hope not lol

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What!? Am I THAT bad??

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no I've just said things to you that I would never say to my sis lol

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oh, hahaha, now that made me laugh!

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well consider that giggle my Christmas gift Merry Christmas

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Why thank you Gray...and I needed a good giggle tonight. Much appreciated. Now what shall I give you?

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hmm well I'm sure you think of something I'll let you surprise me

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You're not gonna make this easy, huh?

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I rarely do

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address it with them... the people you should be nicest to are your family. They are the ones always there for you. Not strangers. Why hurt the people who love you most.

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Well, it's an odd situation. I am currently living with my parents due to a divorce, I'm a single mom and I'm in college full time. My parents help me out big time. Yet my father is just a grump. Mean all the time..never happy with us. It's frustrating...

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Hmmm, glad your parents are there for you then...I can relate. Not an easy situation so I guess let it slide and be grateful for their help. Hope things look up. Maybe he is frustrated at the situation also and can't voice it. I know my dad had very hard time expressing his feeling after my separation. He felt really bad and did not know how to say it. Anyway...head high...you're doing a good job....:)

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Thanks for the kind words and support. It helps. =)

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That happens here also. I live my life and leave them to it. Hurts though

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=( It does hurt...and is very damaging to a future relationship. I can see me moving away in the future when I am done with school and not coming back to often because it's so nice to be away.

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I moved back in with my 75 year old mother 9 months ago not by choice because she practically begged me to after my father passed away.<br />
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She is exactly the way you describe your parent.<br />
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I'm going to make a decision whether to stay probably after the New Year.

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Well, at least you have the option to leave. Though I am sad you have to deal with it. It's not easy at all. I'm in school full time...single mom. I just can't leave right now. It's very frustrating.

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I feel they're being fake with everyone else (outside the family) and real with me and I feel it's their problem if they want to waste their time being that grumpy with me and I just avoid them when their mood turns worse than usual. Their attitude isn't who I am, it's who they choose to be.

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It's my dad..and his mood is worse than usual always. He is very rarely nice to me. I know he loves me, but he is a grump 24/7. I just get so tired of it...**sigh**

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I'm in the same boat, only it's my mom. It does get frustrating, especially when she comes up with silly reasons to give me the silent treatment and I just want to scream at her that she's wasting her time and energy with unneeded anger like that. You also get this "walk on eggshells" way around them too, when they're grumpy like that.

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Yes...I totally get the eggshells thing...and it's all the time with him. I've learned to not speak to him...but it is just so sad...so very sad

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