How would you handle this? Read details..(I know I hate questions like this too..just read the details)lol
One of your parents is really nice to strangers and anyone else living outside your house. But to you and anyone in your family they are mean, judgemental and just grumpy all the time. How would you handle it? How would you cope?
25 Answers to "How would you handle this? Read details..(I know I hate questions like this too..just read the details)lol"
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Honestly, this might not be a good idea, but i can imagine myself getting pissed off. If they were faking being nice people, that sounds kind of manipulative. I wouldn't like that and probably confront them about it and maybe tell the other people. Might be a dumb idea, but i have a tendency to do dumb things lol.
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I would just ignore it and not spend much time around them.
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I concur. But also try to tell them that their negative attitude towards the family is really affecting the relationships, and warn them that if it continues, you will not put up with it anymore. Show them how they are treating strangers with more respect than their own family, and tell them it's not right. Just so you have a bit of the other side's perspective, my brother was once giving me flack for doing something, while he said nothing to one of our friends was also doing it. I asked him, why he's harassing me and not also the friend. He said it's because he doesn't care about the friend, but cares about me. Of course there's some truth into this, but that does not give them the right to try and dictate our lives and put us down everytime we do something.Like (1)
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Yeah, that is what I do. thanks =)
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I had this exact situation. I completely cut them out of my life and never spoke to them again.
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You know what? I get along very well with grumpy old men. I think they're hilarious. You might try handling it with humor. Smile whenever you see him and give him a big "Hi, Daddy. Do anything interesting today?" or (innocently) "Did I do or say something to irritate you? I'm sorry." But my favorite thing to do is put some M&M's or Skittles in a small clear container and label it like a presc
ription, hand it to him and say, "Here, Daddy, you seem a little grumpy. I bought you a bottle of Dammitol." Believe me, if you're happy and cheerful every time you are around him, he will respond. You have to make over him even if you've had a bad day, too. I know you are backed into a corner, so you have to tread lightly. Like (2)
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My Dad was the same. I learned to ignore him and get on with my life. Funnily enough, he improved as he got older.
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problem is most people do this, so good luck getting any real answer
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You need to straight up tell them you feel that they are grumpy and judgemental of you. Maybe they can't see the situation likeyou do.
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People tend to treat the ones around them badly because they can. They are hypocrites. Tell it like it is, call him out on it - if he really loves you & doesn't want to lose you, he'll pay attention.
I had a friend who's boyfriend liked to tell Pinocchio stories to everyone - she would call him out, right there in front of everyone! " you're such a liar, you didn't catch an award winning musky, more like the worlds smallest minnow!" It was great!Like (1)
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Just take walks to help get out of the house from time to time. It will help. I know what you mean and yeah it can be hard to deal with.
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Accept that he will never change. I am sure this situation is stressing him out too.
Even if it was less your fault perhaps than you former husband, you still failed at marriage and I sure that is painful for him too, and he is unhappy , maybe depressed person.
You do have a choice. I had to take out student loans and work, as well as go to school without any help. I used to be envious of people who had parents to turn to. I had two children with me. It was very difficult, painful time. Some of us do not.Like (1)
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This story seems incomplete. You side sounds tortured. Their side is unheard. Is there anyone, friend, minister, trusted relative, neighbor who might be of help without worsening the situation? Your school counselor may have some experience. Clearly you need need some kind of intermediary. Good luck!
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Well, seeing how I'm 37, I think a school counselor is out of the question, lol. Not sure how to better explain my father. He's a grump. He's never happy. Only time I see him happy is when he's talking to a stranger or someone outside our house. As soon as he walks thru the doors....his attitude changes. Very rarely do I see him smile or laugh. He's just a grump all the time.
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I'm 65 and I know the type. He really needs a good bar buddy to listen to his side and explain that nobody wants to be around a constant complainer.
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I have this scenario (personally) . There isn't anything I can offer, except acceptance ...
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I guess you're right. When I'm not living here...acceptance will be so much easier. lol
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get used to itMy parents were both very good people, but both of them would believe a stranger sooner than they woudl their own flesh and blood.
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Well, I'm referring to my father. My mom tells me to just be quiet and let it go...that is how he is. Coming from an abusive marriage...I can NEVER be quiet and let it go. I pretty much never talk to him...but every time we do talk...it never turns out good. I can never get use to that...NEVER. I've even told him that. Doesn't help.
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Sounds like my Mom she's just firmer when it comes to me and my sibs she doesn't know how to stop being a Mom I just blow it off
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I dont' want my dad to stop being dad...I just want respect...kindness...smiles and laughter. Is that really asking too much? I have made sure i will NEVER treat my kids that way.
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Distance myself from said person. I can't exactly get angry at them for being nice to strangers nor for "not giving it to me instead."
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I love the way he acts with strangers...I have much respect for him when I watch him with others. But...at home....he is the total opposite. I don't get angry...I just don't like him.....at all. We have NO relationship due to his attitude. It's sad...really really sad.
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Yes it is milady, but family is overrated. I've had closer bonds with those I share no blood with.
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address it with them... the people you should be nicest to are your family. They are the ones always there for you. Not strangers. Why hurt the people who love you most.
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Well, it's an odd situation. I am currently living with my parents due to a divorce, I'm a single mom and I'm in college full time. My parents help me out big time. Yet my father is just a grump. Mean all the time..never happy with us. It's frustrating...
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Hmmm, glad your parents are there for you then...I can relate. Not an easy situation so I guess let it slide and be grateful for their help. Hope things look up. Maybe he is frustrated at the situation also and can't voice it. I know my dad had very hard time expressing his feeling after my separation. He felt really bad and did not know how to say it. Anyway...head high...you're doing a good job....:)
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That happens here also. I live my life and leave them to it. Hurts though
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=( It does hurt...and is very damaging to a future relationship. I can see me moving away in the future when I am done with school and not coming back to often because it's so nice to be away.
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I moved back in with my 75 year old mother 9 months ago not by choice because she practically begged me to after my father passed away.
She is exactly the way you describe your parent.
I'm going to make a decision whether to stay probably after the New Year.Like (1)
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Well, at least you have the option to leave. Though I am sad you have to deal with it. It's not easy at all. I'm in school full time...single mom. I just can't leave right now. It's very frustrating.
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That happens to me too! True story! Masks and facades to make society think well of them.
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I'm told to keep my mouth shut...to just deal with it because that's the way they are. But, I'm not one to be treated that way and be quiet about it. It's very frustrating..and hurtful. =(
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Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):
Posted by MikeWinther Dec 22nd, 2012 at 8:09PM
Tell them too go back too their house
[ Reply ] | Like (3)
Reply by Wurkoutgurl Dec 22nd, 2012 at 8:26PM
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