I do not believe you are asking the right question here. Of course he is "into you." The problem is not whether he is into you today, it is will he stick by you and work hard to make a relationship last. Its easy to sustain a relationship in the heat of passion. But not everyone is willing to do the hard work that is necessary to sustain a relationship as it moves into a long-term phases that is less about passion and more about sharing, friendship, companionship, emotional intimacy, and empathy.<br />
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If you are looking for a fling, go for it. But be very careful before you consider a committed long-term relationship or marriage. With two failed marriages, there is considerable evidence that either this guy walks away when things cool off, or he has serious problems he hides until the marriage vows have been said -- like emotional or physical abuse.<br />
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Be wary.

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I like the sharing and friendship and companionship, emotional intimacy and empathy. I am not looking for a fling, I have never been married but been in a lot of relationship that I hope would turn into marriage but now at 40, I am looking for all of the above.

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Charlene -- If you have been looking for a long time and not finding what you need, you should consider the following questions:
Are you looking in the right places? You are not likely to find a "good man" in a biker bar.
Are you looking for the right guy? Many women are conflicted in the type of man they seek. They want the "sharing and friendship and companionship, emotional intimacy and empathy" but they are attracted to the "Bad Boys." Bad boys are exciting and fun perhaps, but also unreliable and unlikely to give you the attributes you list. The fact that you are even asking the question about a guy who has been in two failed marriages raises the question in my mind about you looking for the wrong kind of guy.
Are you trying too hard? Don't go out looking for a husband, look for men who clearly demonstrate the attributes you seek, become friends, get to know them, and don't allow yourself to be "needy" or seen by men as a husband hunter -- its a turn-off.

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The question is how long will he be into you.

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I don't even know if he is into me. I think he is as confused as I am.

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If you don't know.....then he's not.

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I hope you are wrong :) But I believe that any commitment starts with a decision. You decide and you make the commitment to stick with the decision. I think that is a more matured way to do things.

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You both need to openly discuss why his marriages failed (and why any longer term relationships you may have had failed). What are the traits in a woman that makes him cut and run?<br />
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In his defense, it took until I was 49 years old and two years of therapy to figure out why I entered into destructive relationships and to develop great relationship communication skills. He should analyze what makes him happy and can you give it to him. Equally as important, can he make you happy long term. For example, if you always need to be first in a relationship, a workaholic will never do that.

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Two failed marriages he should take a brake instead of rebounding ya and they say the third one is the charm ya but men aren't always what they appear to be a man that's giving you something sooner or later hell want something for his gesture if he's being nice to you all of a sudden ya somethings up helping you etc just signs ya but if he aiant saying nothing is because he's expecting you to see the signs to say something if you interested then you react on it but if you're not and these spontaneous good gestures keep happening you have to ask him what's up if he goes so far to give you money then ya the gig is up then ya you gatta know what to do

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no money involved yet.

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I think that the most important question is, are YOU into HIM.

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I think I wouldn't be asking if I am not :)

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Yes, but you also say he is as confused as you are. So, you are confused. You have doubts about his marital track record. You aren't sure how you feel and yet you are focused on trying to figure out what he wants. Do you see?
Start with yourself, what you want, what you feel, and why you feel it. There is a saying that I truly believe, "Water seeks its own level". What it means is, we attract to ourselves the sort of people who are as OK (or not ok) as we are.
If you figure out what you want, it won't matter so much if other people are confused, because you will be grounded firmly.

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Third time is the charm- I'm Tommy's 3rd

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I would like that by this time he has already figured out what went wrong. Both wanted more money from him as he claim.

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This is what I'm saying- and he's really eager to make it work

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He would volunteer to decorate the spare room.

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I don't have a spare room. If I construct one, and he decorates it, will that guarantee that he is into me?

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Hmmm, your indecision speaks volumes... decorate your future with a firmer hand.

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