Not so easy to just leave; I agree with your advice but life does not work that way
Get Out! Life is way too short...Remember: Life started when you were born..It's YOURS.And,If there's a roadblock in your pursuit of happiness..That's not living.
I too have been told by my husband that he hates my ******* guts, throws things in anger, tells me to shut the **** up when I disagree or try to resolve conflict. After 18 years, I just lived with it,choosing that he has more good qualities, than bad, he's never physically hit me, but his words cut like a knife. I grew up in a abusive, dysfunctional family and think that is why I have turned the other cheek. Just like my Mom did with my alcoholic, abusive Dad. <br />
Last night was the wake up call for me. I had purchased tickets to a play for our 18th wedding anniversery. It was supposed to be a special date night, dinner out and play. The FL/GA football game was on and he was totally engrossed..while I was getting ready, he proceeds to make a pizza so he can watch the game and then when I say something about going to dinner he explodes.....gets up and takes a full bottle of wine (we were taking with us) and throws in in our yard slamming into a tree. Tells me he hates my ******* guts and for me to go by myself. We ended up going but never spoke a single word and then on the way home I told him how his behavior embarrasses me and how humiliated I feel, and he tells me again to shut the **** up-<br />
I now hate him and want to leave..I don't know where to start, but I'm 55 years old and know I don't have a lot of years left. I want to smile again and feel like I have a life.
I have gone thru the same abuse he has put his hands on me a couple of times and is constantly verbally abusing me telling me i hate you ***** go **** yorself i dont like you you hoe you prob ******* all my friends telling me my 8 year old son is gonna be a *** saying my daughters are gonna be hoes just like me andhe was always leaving me he left me in 4 years about 7 times he just did it again and am actually trying to get over him because what i have with him was comfort he was my friend my partner my lover but i saw things got worse so i advice you stay away it gets really bad but dispite of allvi still love him
I came on this site looking for answers to a question I guess I already knew the answer to. My husband is the same way. As soon as I disagree to anything I am useless, lazy and he hates his life because of me. I pretend like I am happy to all of my friends because I just dont have the courage to leave, but it saddens me that he can say such hurtfull things to me. I also think of the mean comments sad in anger when things are going good. I am now on antidepresants because I feel like these mean things are true. It is aweful that a relationship can do this to anyone, and it is sad that someone can make you so small. When did I become this girl> ugh
As corny and Oprah-ish as it sounds, I think it's a fear of abandonment. He doesn't know how to fight - he thinks that the stakes for speaking his mind are very high - losing you. So he throws it in your face from the start.
this is emotional abuse. its just as though he were physically beating you (obviously without the bruises) - when things are good, he's nice, when you argue, he's a jackass. i'd see a marriage counselor together. thety can help you work on communication skills and - lets be honest, no one is perfect - issues each of you may have individually. good luck. <br />
its kind of disheartening that so many people's first reaction is to tell you to 'leave.' he's your husband, its supposed to be more of a commitment than just a boyfriend. divorce shouldn't be so easy, marital relationships shouldn't be so casually dismissed.<br />
not trying to offend anyone, this is just my personal opinion.
Honey he took his vows just like she did. Quite naturally you'll make up excuses for him in the beginning because in reality no woman wants a failed marriage. They dnt wnt to accept the fact that they couldn't hold it together.But the truth is that she just picked the wrong person who in the beginning seemed like prince charming. No relationship if ever worth abuse point blank.
Verbal abuse is abuse--whether it's done by a man or by a woman. (Just a thought here: Do these words come out when he's been drinking?)
You telling half of the story its a reason why your still explaining this situation instead of leaving him alreadym I take it the sex is good and you proably got some babies by him so seeing as though your not going any where endure what you can accept the abuse until you can't tke it any more but one day you are going to snap this type of behavior is destroying you being happy and living a productive life yOu are human you. Can only take but so much
I really like this post! Finally someone is being real! ( speaking the truth)
I responded to your earlier query concerning your 'husband'. If he acts like an enemy, he probably is one. It generally "takes two to tango" but I get the feeling that you did'nt exactly make this bed, other than not reading the signs before you tied the knot with this idiot. You should seek counsel in order to cleanly extract yourself from this caustic relationship. And think long and hard about what will best work for the kids. Start setting money aside.
either go to therapy and work it out or leave if he doesn't stop. you deserve to be treated right. keep your self respect and don't get into a cycle of abuse, and above all, don't believe the mean things he says about you!!
get out as soon as possible.
Many people say things in anger that they do not really mean.It is hurtful but does not neccessarily mean he hate you. How does he treat you on a daily basis? If your husband is only saying mean stuff when angry-you should discuss with him how this hurt you. More than likely you just need better & healthier communication.
i agree.. no one is perfect and actions speak louder than words.. if he is treating you right but having trouble expressing his emotions in a healthy way then that is something youtwo can work on... it's not like he is beating your or cheating or any of the other get out fast but again it overall depends on how you feel about it.. and do you want to stay or not
I can relate to this. My hubby makes me feel like crap. Calls me awful names and fells me how awful of a motjer and wife i am. Then tells me how his ex would be 110x better. I try not to fight when hes drunk bit sometimes I do. It sometimes gets to the.point where we do hurt each other. He says we are priority but hes tje one.outside drinkings cases and cases of beer, every week. He always blames me for ruining his life. Its so xepressing.
U should leave as well! Sometimes it easier to give advice than to apply it towards our own lives!
I go through the same thing with my wife. When she is angry there is not a word she doesn't call me. I just take it all with a grain of salt, believe me its not the easiest thing to deal with, but thats just me. She grew up in a life where fighting and being defensive is what shes knows. try to find the root of it and try to get help from there
U are a man and the same thing goes for u! No one deserves to b abused in any kind of way! Leave her and go find true happiness!
Leave it only gets worse as time goes on he will get meaner.
that's just messed up
I feel just like you and I have answers. My husband says he loves me and overall he is a good dude. He tells me he will never cheat and does nice things for our kids and me. But when I have a question or I have my trust issue moment or it can be something even smaller he will sometimes use sick words such, you s**t, b****, w***, nut case, shut the f*** up, f u, and I hate everything about you. It sucks and I feel like why am I with him. I start thinking where should I go, should I leave him, but where do I go. I start to think so then all the nice things he say is all lies, how can he say nasty stuff but say he loves me. I get so confuse. I'm not saying I'm perfect though. But is no excuse for him. I know they try to blame you for him saying those things but its who they are. They think they are above you. I have only been married 3 years, what am I waiting for? I think for something worse to happen. And it's dumb but true. Even when all is good inside of me is not, I always think about all the bad stuff he told me and its hard to really believe that he loves me and he wouldn't cheat. Why would he respect me in that way when he has done me wrong like spit and call me nasty words. Here is the truth, I blame my trust issues and I'm waiting for him to cheat or hit me for me to leave and not have any guilt.
Leave the son of a *****! It will not get better trust me I'm speaking frm experience. Once they get to the point where they feel like they can say anything to you they will! And that's verbal and emotional abuse.No one deserves that especially frm a person that claims they love u (When they are supposedly not mad)!
Right now I,m dealing with same thing. Do you walk away? I,m recovering from cancer, he tells me he hope I die!