Kream19 Kream19 26-30, F 4 Answers Dec 13, 2012 in Dating & Relationships

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Relationships & families are all about compromise & making sure everyone is as happy as they can possibly be. Personally I think women, & indeed all of us, have been sold a 'dud' with the idea that we can 'have everything'. You can't - no one can. A great many people have been, & continue to be, made deeply unhappy due to the fruitless pursuit of 'having it all'.

My own view - if I didn't have children I would prefer my wife to work part time & during my own working hours if possible, so we had maximum free time together. With [young] children I don't think there is a realistic choice & any existing job/career should end. Whilst they are small, children are a full time job & more in themselves, & that should be her priority. The biggest question/issue is at what stage does a return to work become a realistic prospect & there are all sorts of views on this from a few weeks after giving birth to leaving secondary school & everything in between. Individual circumstances & financial need will come into play but purely on preference [which was the question] I would say not until the youngest child is in school [not nursery] & even then with hours that fit around school committments & holidays.

I have known families who pursue all sorts of different lifestyles but the ones who try to 'have it all' [including mine] are generally the least happy & where the adult relationships suffer the most strain.

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i understand what you mean

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What ever makes her happy.

If she works that is fine and if she wants to stay at home I don't have a problem with that either.

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your an amazing husband

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All of them if it suits them. Basic need is to raise the kids in a fine and good way.

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