It's unrealistic to tell him not to look at girls. In fact, I'm sure you check out other girls too. People are curious by nature and if we're going to live around each other we should at least pay attention. <br />
I would only be concerned about it if he's saying things like, "damn her *** is hot". Because that's out of line. Appreciating the looks of others isn't.
but the problem is not knowing why he is looking at them... sure he could be just admiring their beauty but he could also be looking at them and thinking about F$$king them... and if you ask, will they really tell the truth? i doubt it... so maybe people in relationships should just respect their partner and not do it, or at least not to the point of longer than 1 second!
Let him, but do the same. Next time you see a man--stare at him as if he's the hottest thing you've ever seen. Helps if you give the guy a little tantalizing smile while you look at him. See if that doesn't stop your boyfriend from looking. It works every time for me.
Dear izzytoks91,<br />
It appears from your answer as though you are looking to your boyfriend and other people for validation of your worth and value as a person. That is not a good thing. If your boyfriend is flagrantly ogling other women in your presence, the guy is a pig and unworthy of you and that is how you need to think of the situation.<br />
Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are and do not allow the way other people act around you to influence how you feel about yourself. Whether or not those other people even existed in the universe, you are a good and valuable person who contributes to the universe and will contribute more as you learn and mature. There are people in the history of mankind who at your age had no clue how much they would contribute to the world around them and to the benefit of mankind. Have faith and confidence in yourself and know that one day, the right guy will come along who recognizes your value and treats you with the love and respect you deserve. Until then, if somebady acts like a creep, tell him to kiss your petutie.
I have an issue with my boyfriend staring too but think its harmless. We went out last night to celebrate his sisters 18th and I felt he was constantly looking at one girl who was attractive and I liked her. Initially I thought it was in my head so even moved position so to look at me he couldn't look in her direction but he kept looking. It made me feel insecure and I'm sure she was aware of him watching her so I also felt enbarressed. I did calmly say how I felt and he didn't think he had done anything wrong and said he loved me and was happy to be there with me! She was attractive so why shouldn't he look but my own insecurity made me feel that he would prefer her. I know it's healthy to look and find others attractive but don't know how to stop it making me so jeolous
If he's not looking at them, he won't look at you. <br />
Years ago, Dear Abby had a letter from a woman whose husband went for beer at a topless bar on Fridays with his buddies. The man was apparently a fine husband, but just the thought of him looking at the half naked women disturbed her. Dear Abby gave the woman the most wonderful answer.<br />
"Don't worry about where he gets his appetite as long as he eats his meals at home."
He's with you isn't he?<br />
I think guys do it on purpose to see how their girlfriends react. :P
Tell him how you feel and tell him to stop. If he has any respect for you, he will al least tone it down. Cause lets face it we all look sometimes. Doesn't mean he doesn't care though
DO NOT listen when people say, "Its just fine! Perfectly normal! Everyone does it so get over it." <br />
Yes, it is 'normal', but if it's at the point where it's hurting your self esteem, you need to confront him. I would advise confronting him in the calmest way you can, though.<br />
Rather people want to encourage it or not, feeling EXCLUSIVELY loved by your partner is extremely important. It hurts a womans pride to feel as if her man wants more then her. Like she's not enough. So talk to him, tell him how it hurts, and if he doesnt care, consider breaking up with him. *NOT because he looks at other girls, but because he didn't care about YOUR FEELINGS when you confronted him.*<br />
You'll find someone someday who wants ONLY you, don't settle for less!
ok. i thought i was over him looking at other girls. and most of you are right, IT WILL NEVER STOP..... even after numerous times you told him how its destroying you. It definitely lowers your self esteem, and it's very embarassing and feeding to your insecurity. On the other hand, I guess men are just the way they are.<br />
But my question now is, say in a long distance relationship, you would skype everyday to cope with the missing etc... and sometimes skype to share intimate moments with your boyfriend/husband. Only to find out, he went offline not because of connection probs, but because he was checking on sexy women online? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?
And you know what sugar tart? IT WILL NEVER STOP!!!
Speak with him and calmly share how you feel. Say that you feel he is damaging you, your feelings and your self esteem by looking at other girls and could he have enough respect for you as his girlfriend to stop doing it...At LEAST when you're spending time together.<br />
If he doesn't understand/change, DUMP HIS ***. You deserve wayy better from either him or another one of the thousands of decent guys out there.. It boils down to a question of his respect for the relationship you two share!!
My wife will say, look, now she is hot. trust is the thing we are talking about. If you don't trust your lover, there will always be doubt. My wife knows I thank women are beautiful. just because I notice one, She knows I am not going to try to get her. Trust,love,respect.If you lack in one of these,your relationship will be hard.
As someone who has been there .....<br />
All men look all the time they can't help themselves...they are hot wired to look at girls, their T and A, legs, faces, and even you know where. <br />
Try being his partner in crime sort of like allofus said above...If you are looking at the girls with him he is going to think you are the hottest woman alive...every man fantasizes about girl on girl...so if he sees you joining in or even leading him his eyes might look even more on you in total awe and surprise.<br />
He is with you and spends his time with you and keeps coming back to you....you must have some serious mojo going to keep him attracted, interested, and in your relationship....think about that.<br />
Bottom line is that there will always be women with better bodies, prettier faces, etc etc etc. but only you have what it took to reel him in. Work on what you have, work on your insecurity or it will lead to jealousy which is already happening to you.<br />
You are seeing what those women have and saying I don't have this or that, and feeding your insecurity, and it will cause a rift in your relationship.<br />
Confidence is sexy as hell and a confidant woman carries herself with dignity and grace and does not need to compete with other women. She knows that no matter how much a knock out the other women might be...they may only have their looks but she has far more, is deeper, and has a personality that makes her a person of interest.<br />
Been there done that now have a wicked smile on my face knowing I AM ALL THAT AND SO MUCH MORE HONEY!!<br />
Hope that helps.
How can your so called "boyfriend" MAKE YOU FEEL??YOU are responsible for your feelings, not him.<br />
YOU feel MISERABLE, NOT HIM.
something that might break him of the habit. Works most times but not all. Look with him and make comments. Point out different kinds of girls ask him what he thinks about them, what attracted him to look at that particular one. Guys do not like to talk so much or reveal to much information, so he may start looking less just to aviod your questions and comments. This is important to not be snide or degrading to him, maybe to the girl he is looking at, but take him seriously and be interested in his anwswers and be ready for more indepth questions from you. Do not be afraid to get personal. "Dose she turn you on? why does she? would you like me to be like that? would you like other guys to look at me like that, just for you, you know?" But him on the hot seat while not actually attacking him or his habit and it can be fun.
If when you go out he wont stop checking out the other girls, do what i did and it worked. talk first, then if no improvement talk again.....if still no improvement, when you go out with him make sure you look as hot as possible, i mean go for it....whilst out...other guys will check you out...he should notice. this may keep him a little busier whilst out with you....it worked with my guy.....You will never stop him looking, its just not polite whilst he is in your company....oh, it will also raise your self esteem
They never stop... Explain that he needs to either hide it better or you will start looking too...Dont ever let him think you dont look, it makes them try less.
okay... a few things here... first if you felt secure in your relationship and his committment to you it wouldn't phase you in the slightest that he looks around and "admires the view"... that being said you need to take a good look at yourself and your relationship.. you need to be more loving to YOU and examine what you need from this man to feel secure that you are not getting... next you have to ask yourself if he clearly understands how this makes you feel and if so do you want to be with someone that has so little regard for your feelings?
Just tell him to stop it while u are their cause i think every one looks it just shows lack of respect to u by doing it while u are their. Or u could do the same back and google at every bitt of eye candy you see a let him see how it feels for u.
I have the same problem. In my case, my boyfriend knows it bothers me yet he continues to do it anyways. In a way I find it to be selfish. It's like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He is constantly saying how he finds it disrespectful and wouldn't want me doing that to him. So he keeps saying he will change. Day after day, I see no change. It becomes a problem when they're doing it in a sneaky manner or lying about it. Look, I understand that men will have contact with women and it's okay to look but you don't need to stare and oogle at them for longer than 15 seconds. It's just rude and uncalled for. Plus, I see it as their attention is being focused onto something else when they are out with you. It's just wrong. I respect the opinions of others who are commenting but what some of them need to understand is that it DOES in fact lower your self esteem and it shouldn't. It's wrong entirely to continue doing it especially if you are trying to change your behavior. Women aren't just something to stare at. We have feelings and are humans too. I completely get what you're saying and I'm sorry you have to go through it.