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I am a christian, and I know I have to stay with my husband, but I am not happy anymore. What should I do?

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13 Answers to "I am a christian, and I know I have to stay with my husband, but I am not happy anymore. What should I do?"

  1. zorbas - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by zorbas Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:24PM

    No contentious relationship is without a cause. Constant bickering and arguments are a manifestation of some greater unspoken issues that remain unresolved and will never be unless you face them down honestly.
    You two are sparing around and not telling one another of what is putting the strain in your relationship. You both are at fault in this.
    It may be as simple a the fact that you do not really like one another and should not be together. It could also be that he has found another and he now feels trapped in a mmaraige that does not equal the thrill of his romance elsewhere. He may be staying as many men do because of familial responsibilities.
    Step back and think seriously of why these verbal sessions start and why.

    Like (3)

  2. Bfinally - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by Bfinally Oct 26th, 2012 at 7:05AM

    ...and work together to try to resolve it.

    Like (1)

  3. MissMakaylaCakes - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by MissMakaylaCakes Sep 11th, 2012 at 8:27PM

    You are a christian you know god is forgiving. Do what you know is best for you. if you feel you would be happier without him. Leave.

    Like (2)

  4. xbreathexmusicx - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by xbreathexmusicx Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:35PM

    "i am in a relationship, but i am unhappy, what do i do?" is like asking "i spilled my coffee, do i clean it up?". the answer is obvious- a marriage is meaningless if you can't make each other happy. If you're really so intent on following the "rules" of your religion, think about whether you're willing to throw away your own desires simply to abide by a pact made under conditions that no longer hold true (love, understanding, happiness, essentially all the stuff you felt when you wrote your vows). I don't think god would hate you for finding happiness- your husband may find happiness as well. I could go so far as to say that maybe your god intends for you to experience a divorce, because from this experience you will gain the knowledge necessary to truly live a christian life. Interpret my words and the situation as you like, but whatever choice you make I hope you find what you're looking for

    Like (2)

  5. monardella - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by monardella Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:23PM

    This is a tough one, I'm not a christian but I'm staying in a marriage with some issues too. There are some things I've come to realize. One is that every marriage has problems. Not just little ones, but big ones. I've left one marriage and am on my second so I'm really qualified to say that. You've got to think long term to make a marriage work. You also have to do some serious problem solving on your own. Men in general tend to come to marriage thinking that they are who they are and it's the woman's job to compromise. I used to give in to keep the peace. You've got to find constructive ways to stand up for yourself that start moving the interactions in a different direction. If he won't change, you have to learn how to be strong enough to get what you need and be happy. You have to set boundaries. Standing up for yourself doesn't mean screaming, but it might mean changing the way you react to what he's saying to you. Figure out what he gets out of hurting your feelings and see if you can take away the reward. I also really believe in therapy and if he won't go, go yourself. At least you'll have someone in your court, who will listen and be compassionate!

    Like (2)

  6. angelindisguise2 - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by angelindisguise2 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:28PM

    i will try that, thank you

    Like (1)

  7. Sean8342 - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by Sean8342 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:18PM

    What does being a Christian have to do with being unhappy? I've read the Bible from cover to cover and back again and it doesn't say any such thing.
    Guess the first thing to do is to open the lines of communication with your husband and let him know you aren't happy and then to devise a solution.
    If you can't come up with a solution or the solution doesn't work then nothing says you have to remain unhappy.
    Pretty sure one of Christ's messages to us was to be true to ourselves, only then can we be true to others.

    Like (2)

  8. ezygoin52 - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by ezygoin52 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:18PM

    In my opinion, divorce should not be an option for christians. Seek good christian counselling.

    Like (2)

  9. angelindisguise2 - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by angelindisguise2 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:22PM

    yes, that's what it says in the bible, that's why i am still with him

    Like (1)

  10. ezygoin52 - 56-60 years old - male

    Reply by ezygoin52 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:23PM

    Is he a christian?

    Like (1)

    2 more replies
  11. DreamyAlice - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by DreamyAlice Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:12PM

    I'm not a Christian, but whatever you believe, if you're not happy the way things are now, you might find your luck somewhere else. I'm not saying that you should cheat on him, maybe a really open conversation with him might help, but I don't know the main source of your unhapiness. If you're unhappy, go get your luck.

    Like (2)

  12. SilenceEvermore - 18-21 years old

    Posted by SilenceEvermore Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:11PM

    Why aren't you happy? Should be the first question to ask yourself.

    Like (2)

  13. angelindisguise2 - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by angelindisguise2 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:12PM

    we fight everyday

    Like (1)

  14. SilenceEvermore - 18-21 years old

    Reply by SilenceEvermore Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:12PM

    But why :/?

    Like (1)

    4 more replies
  15. Dollyismyleader - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Dollyismyleader Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:10PM

    Don't you have to try to sort it out?

    Like (2)

  16. angelindisguise2 - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by angelindisguise2 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:12PM

    we try everyday

    Like (1)

  17. Dollyismyleader - 41-45 years old - female

    Reply by Dollyismyleader Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:21PM

    Well if you've tried everything and you're still unhappy I don't see why being a Christian condemns you to a whole life time of the same.

    Like (1)

  18. callmetime - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by callmetime Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:10PM

    have you told him how you truly feel?

    Like (2)

  19. angelindisguise2 - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by angelindisguise2 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:13PM

    yes, but he keeps saying he's not doing anything wrong

    Like (1)

  20. callmetime - 18-21 years old - male

    Reply by callmetime Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:15PM

    was he the same way when you first met him? because you cant change him

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  21. Crazyboi21 - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by Crazyboi21 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:10PM

    File a divorce?
    I don't know?

    Like (2)

  22. churinga - 70+ years old - male

    Posted by churinga Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:23PM

    Did you marry an unbeliever?

    Like (1)

  23. angelindisguise2 - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by angelindisguise2 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:27PM

    he's a christian

    Like (1)

  24. churinga - 70+ years old - male

    Reply by churinga Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:31PM

    Define Christian,as to what denomination you belong to, if you want grounds for divorce then adultery is the the only way out , depending on how strong you are in your faith,simply facts are nobody goes to the Bible for help these days.

    Like (1)

  25. PsychedelicCow - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by PsychedelicCow Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:10PM

    No you don't have to stay with your husband. If he's abusive or a cheater, leave him.

    Like (1)

  26. angelindisguise2 - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by angelindisguise2 Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:13PM

    he's not physically abusive but verbally abusive

    Like (1)

  27. PsychedelicCow - 36-40 years old - male

    Reply by PsychedelicCow Sep 11th, 2012 at 5:15PM

    That falls under mental abuse. You don't have to subject yourself to that. If you've tried to get through to him and he just won't change, you have every right to leave. I don't believe for a second God wants women to stay with abusive men, no matter what.

    Like (1)

    1 more reply

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