discussion time, I think you and your new wife should sit down and talk this out.
Talk to her and ask why there is no intimacy. No offence, but maybe you aren't as wonderful as you think. I know someone who thinks he is respectful but is really just a ****. Not saying you are, but it happens. And there are also people who just don't want it. Be it stress or exhaustion, it is the last thing in their minds. So she may not see a problem in the frequency. Either way, talk to her, that's the only way to find out.
You need a good long talk or you are in for a miserable marriage.
Women want to be desired. Why are you using the term "respectful"? Do you have to ask nicely for intimacy? I'm not trying to be snide but I really wonder why you used that term to describe yourself. If you want to have more sex with her...maybe act a little more like a guy who wants it. I know that it is a total turn off when my husband (of 2 years) acts like he wants to have sex simply because it's convenient, that is, I'm already lying beside him. Women like to be seduced. Being married doesn't change that.
What I say to my husband, in total exasperation, is that i do NOT want to be treated as "less" than his former girlfriends and lovers. To have sex with them he had to work for it...he had to be nice, pay attention, let them know he desired them. Gee, does it occur to him that other women, like wives, would like that same attention? DUH...of course wives want to be treated as desirable. Who taught these guys otherwise??
re-create a time when you were intimate- that she remembers to be a good time do things you used to do and remind her why you fell in love in the first place
You need to communicate this with your partner, first and foremost. Find out specific reasons why there is a lack of intimacy and work together to get both of your needs met.
I'd love to read it, but I can't find it?
intamacy....i wonder if guys really need that or are capable of that! one thing u must try doing.... when u want to be heard... no matter how many times she cuts u in... keep telling her... ask her to be quiet and listen... but make sure u are telling her something that she can sync in with... dont tell her ur thots on other girls... pls... no woman / man can take that when u talk abt ur ex or another person... talk abt soemthing that u truly want to share with only her and no one else... cuz she means a lot to u.! if she is someone u truly love... intamacy will happen!
Check out the EP group here called "I Live in a Sexless Marriage". If she is like many men or women (Yes a LOT of men do this as well) that do this many just have no sex drive period. Nothing you can do in a case like that can change that. They either have one or they don't. So the question becomes is this something you can live with for the REST OF YOUR LIFE?
If not it is time to cut bait before this goes on forever. Refusers do not change. They may even want to change. But this is their biological makeup. A person can no more change that than they can their race or gender. Anyway check out the group. Lastly if you don't have kids DO NOT!! This will set the trap even deeper. It is the main reason so many stay in this awful situation.
The newness wore off. Some people who have little to no libido go through that whole love/lust early phase. Remember the phase where you couldn't keep your hands off each other? For many as soon as that wears off they are done. For most people when that phase wains it will develop into a mature sustainable bond where sex is still present. But for many who has a low sex drive to begin with then it sometimes just comes to a halt. Now in her case it could also be a big physical change. The key will be will she address it if that is the case. Or does she refuse to do anything about it or even talk about it. If so you have a "classic" refuser. Read stories in the group & see if she fits.
Do you suspect cheating or something else going on or is it a lack of intimacy on both sides?
Get acquainted with your hands fer the long haul-I did-or just leave?