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I have a 22mth old as well...and his son is 4. My boyfriend and I spend loads of time with all of us together but now that thanksgiving is just around the corner..he told me he usually spends the holidays at his ex's house...I can respect that he wants to be with his son for the holidays I love that he puts him first..he was definatly invited out of town for my fam diner as well and he's decided to goto his ex's house... I'm crushed.. Even though it honestly might be for the sake of his little boy. I just dont know how to swallow it.. my ex (my daughters daddy) would definatly not be spending the holidays with my family..geeze I feel so confused
Amiovermyhead Amiovermyhead 22-25, F 14 Answers Oct 9, 2009

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Don't know that it's right or wrong, but it is understandable. Have you spoken to him about it? What about having his son come and visit with you on some holidays?

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**** christ, who's boy friend is he any way? Why the f uck would he be spending time with her at all?

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You are not wrong....he has an obligation, and should spend time with his son....but, the ex, is the ex for a reason, and she should not be the one, getting YOUR bf, on Thanksgiving.....I hope there isn't anything kindling between them.....I'd wonder why he would do that, and not invite you....



I think a good arrangement, would be for him to pick up his son, and spend half the day with him, and the ex can spend the second half with the son.....this would allow you to be in the son's life, too, without the ex looking on....



It's awkward, at best...but he should consider your feelings on this subject....I hope you've talked to him about it....

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if you meant anything to him, he would have invited you along... and why doesnt his ex and him take turns on sharing their child during the holidays.. they can alternate, then it is fair for everyone. I get the impression your bf is trying to make his child see a "perfect family" when thats not the case. the childs parents need to be separate and need to be separated. The poor child will get confused & not understand.

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Oh, once you have children it's never about you again until you stuff their clothes and stereo in the dorm room. Too many kids and too many exes. This is about your daughter. You make Thanksgiving for your daughter and start your own tradition. You putting your daughter first is no different than his doing that with his son. That he favors the four year old this year doesn't mean that it will be that way next year. But, what he does at Thanksgiving means nothing to your child--only to you. And big heads up--daughters need mothers and sons need fathers. Is that so weird? Your daughter is going to grow into a woman and she needs a template for that--you. Thanksgiving is a big woop who cares? If, you push onto your daughter your own feelings of jealousy and need--well, she'll eat that up like turkey. She's your little butterball and he needs to matter not. That is why it's hard to have children--they outweigh all your own needs.

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I agree with rubythursday on this one

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The kid isn't the issue, it is the boy friend, that **** is wrong. If he wanted to see his kid, he would bring him home. If he is going for visitation he needs to include you as simple as that.

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it's understandable

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