We've been divorced almost three years. He never tried to save our marriage. I got mad about the girlfriend and flushed his Cialis. Then I felt guilty and confessed. Then he breaks down about how much he loved me and what a mistake he made. Tells me he was devastated when I left, he never told me. Apologizes for how he treated me. He was so indifferent and unemotional, that I had no idea he even cared about me. She is a good person and they have more in common than he and I. I don't think he's the one I am suppose to be with in the long-term. But, I am so drawn to work things out. Is it because I am lonely? I don't want her hurt. They are neighbors. Her husband of 30 years walked out on her. Why am I so jealous? I didn't even care or I thought I didn't until he started dating someone. What's going inside me? Why these feelings? Do I suck it up and let it go?
DomesticArtist DomesticArtist 31-35, F 11 Answers Nov 5, 2010

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find your own happiness, forget him,if even so hard to do to let him go.i know how u felt, too. BUT look at the situation...stop hurting your self,find a way,do something,free your self from it,dont be stuck,be clever, dont find the person u can live with,but find the one u cant live without....GOODLUCK! T.C

im sorry,my english very bad.hope u understand.

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The feeling of abandonment and loss are only natural. If he is your ex, the only thing you can do is suck it up and let it go. Find someone for yourself, not as a replacement, but for the companionship.

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Funny how we throw something away and then we see it differently as if looking through the eyes of the one who found it and consider it a treasure.

There is a soul mate for everyone.................don't waste your time revisiting a mistake if you already know he is not "the one"

Love, Light and Blessings,


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This is really very common. It's a replacement reaction. You were probably fine with the divorce and had made some peace with it right up until he got someone else and then you had this very emotional reaction....which is your psyche saying that you believe he is replacing you with another woman, that he doesn't think you are good enough now. It is a blow to your self-esteem. You are saying in a primeval sort of way that he is your possession, even though you don't want him. Because your psyche is still bonded to him in that way you have allowed him that degree of power over you....the power to make you feel that you have been replaced or that you are not good enough. It is a very emotional, non-thinking reaction.

What you have to do is think about whether or not you really want him back, or if your primeval emotional self just wants to stake it's claim on a possession? Do you want to drop him and move on to the next level of your life, as you had originally planned, or do you want to take a step back and become entangled in the same problems that led to your divorce?

Do you see him as a thing of value that you really and truly want? Or is he something that you can peacefully pass on to another woman with your blessing, and maybe a little relief?

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Deep down you still want him to hurt like you did/do. If he has another girlfriend, you know he's moved on and it's over.

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He said he was willing to end it with her and work on us.

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It was 24 years together, 9 before marriage, we never really got along like u should in a marriage, I miss him , but he was nasty alot. I dont feel love for him, Is it I was just used to him and his ways. I am scared , and plus he turned the kids against me. No one lives with me. So I was betrayed by all of them. When I kicked him out, he went straigt to his girlfriends home. So, he was probably cheating on me anyway. How do I get over feeling so jealous. He talks nice to her, and never really protected me like a husband should have. What do I do ??

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someone reply, please

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i left him and i never though i would want him back

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i think i still love him

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My parents have similar issues of holding onto the past and continuing to be hurt by it. I don't know HOW to let it go, but I know it's what you've gotta do.

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