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I pay all the bills and he doesn't work, not disabled just chooses to play the internet all day! He has family close he can go to I have non close at all. I can't take it anymore.
LonelyOnceinLove LonelyOnceinLove 26-30, F 32 Answers May 26, 2009

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I wonder if the husband of the asker knows that people on EP are deciding his future.



Be careful with your answers people. You can be really affecting another humans life with your big mouths.



Sad.

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Shut the **** Up you idiot! How long should she take care of a ******* slaker? And you're worried about how an answer may affect another human. How about this........I hope she nails him to the cross. Kick his lazy ******* *** out!

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This is not the best answer. This is a real problem. You know who doesn't care about their effect on someone's life? The lazy internet troll who doesn't have a job making some woman support him. F that guy for real. Now how do you get a M-Fer to move the F out of a house he does not pay to live in?!? Anyone have an answer for that?

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DO what my ex did to her husband - move me in. He left the next day.

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ring up his family and get them to take him away... you having to ask them should put the message across that its not going to work.

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It sounds good, to change locks, and to ask the police to escort him out, but unless you are in danger, they will not get involved...it's a civil issue...



You will need to serve him papers, to get him out....he has rights, too, whether he works or not...(I know it stinks...I have had this very same issue...I pay for everything, he's never paid for anything, but he has rights to half of everything, which includes the house, even if you're renting, he has the right to be there, under the law)



If he's been abusive, (you didn't mention he was, so I am assuming he hasn't) you could file a restraining order, which would get him out as quickly as they could process the paperwork....



I wish you all the luck....I have been in your shoes....it sucks.

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Confusedwifestillinlove, when I read your response my stomach dropped. I am in your situation exactly. My husband is addicted to synthetic mariguana. We have been married a few years, but we have been together for nearly 20 years. He spends his entire day smoking. It is a serious addiction. It has completely altered his personality. He is angry, unreasonable, and unpredicatable. He is sometimes so depressed he is suicidal. He pawns belongings, begs and takes from his family and me. We have a very small child together that he does not help support in any way. I want him out. I do not want my child to grow up exposed to him. The first year of this I was in denial, and thought I could help him. I went to Alanon, took him to therapy, to a Pastor. This has been going on for about 2 1/2 years and last year it spiraled out of control. I managed to get him out for a short time, but I did allow him back. My situation is strange, because we live in my MOTHER's home. My mother and I pay all of the bills and he contributes NOTHING financially. (Nor does he contribute in housework). I do not trust him to leave my child with him. From what I have found online tonight I see I can not have him escorted out by police. I do not feel in danger, and do not require a restraining order, although I recognize this is a volatile situation. I came online tonight to see if I could get him out legally without involving the police. I want him to recover and turn his life around for his sake and our child's. I do not think I can stay in a marriage with him and would be willing to divorce him now. I spoke to an attorney (reasonably priced) and the fees required to start proceedings are out of my reach. I have been financiacly strained for two years because of the money he has taken from me, or the financial problems he has caused me. I would take my child and move out in an instant if we lived in our own place. I need advice desperately too.

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My husband is smoking fake weed quit his job and we have 3 kids together I've been told he needs to hit rock bottom but he won't leave I love him but what's ment to be will. He won't work he eats and sleeps and stays gone for hours I can't mentally deal w it anymore I need him out what can I do that won't be permanant damage if he decides to clean up we have been together for 20years since we were teenagers.

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we have been separaed along time,but he is still comming back to my house.i call the police to take him out,next day he is coming back again.he is making me sick,i can not stand with this problem any more.can you help me please.

kim

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I have the same problem. I looked into it and was told that I had to file for divorce which I can't afford to do. Mine is a mentally abusive alcoholic who is finally working but spends all of his money on booze and gambling. We have one child in common. He won't move out. The only thing that I can think to do is save all of my money to move out or file for divorce. I have NO IDEA how I am going to do it since I pay all of the bills.

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I have exactly the same problem. My husband hates my guts but is sticking around just to "make your life hell". I am thinking of not doing any cooking, cleaning, shopping, no sex, no make-up. He tells me I'm a fat slob anyway so I may as well become one. How long will a man go without food or sex until he finally gives up and moves on I wonder?????

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You gave us so little information. How long have you been married to him. Did he work at first. Do you have children together. Does he cook and do some housework. Is he cheating , beating you. It just sounds like to got a lazy moocher. They can be hard to get rid of because they are losers and have nothing else to depend on except women stupid enough to be with them.

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im in your exact situation right now can you give me an update to what happened to him did he ever leave? mine has been abusive and like an idiot i let him back now he refuses to leave and stopped helping me pay bills i dont know what to do besides move its such a hassle i hate i married him i hate him i wish he'd drop dead

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maybe stop wearing such nice eye make-up! ...who would leave that eye? ..no one.

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If hes unemployed and your working depending on the state you can say hello to Alimony.

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Well if it's come to the point that you don't want to continue the relationship then the only answer would be divorce. As long as you are married to him then whatever you own, he owns just the same. Whatever contract he signs you are equally responsible for upholding. Your car is his car, his toothbrush is your toothbrush the dog is equally co-owned. By law it is an equal partnership. If one party to the partnership wants to claim individual ownership of an item, say a house, then either they would both have to agree to sign a contract that excludes that property from the partnership or else dissolve the partnership and agree to a division of the assets or have a judge decide how to divide the assets.

In some states you can have your spouse removed from the house if there has been or if the police have reasonable suspicion that there will be physical abuse but there is nothing under the law to prevent him from coming right back, it's his house as much as it is yours under the terms of an equal partnership, in this case marriage.

Other States the law goes the way of; if it bothers you then by all means you pack up and leave. Say you went that route, you move out, get another place and quit paying the bills in the house he stayed in. One day he shows up at the door of the new place and walks right on in. As long as he remains a party to the equal partnership with you, you cannot exclude his property rights to anything you have.

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I sure hope you accept all these bad advice to the leading question and put it to good use . My ex did the same to me , after I paid for the house demanded I quit my job . She worked three weeks then demanded I give her full control of all are finance because she is the one paying the bills . I hope you totally get screwed over by him .

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I understand your anger...but do you have any manly advice on how you would have preference to have been dealt with?

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...throw his **** out and catch it one fire. ...he will get the message

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You may need to go to court and have him evicted, Either that or go to a lawyer and start divorce proceedings, Depending on our state laws there is usually something that the lawyers or courts can do to help you

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I just did this with an X boyfriend and was terrifyed to try much. This is what worked. If he is not working, he cant eat at home if you dont put any food in the fridge or cabinets. Also, become really boring and dont argue. Turn off the cable and internet. He will get really bored sitting at home alone with nothing to do. It took me about a year to get him out, but it was way worth it.

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It would be nice to change the locks, and pitch his stuff to the curb. But... unless he's abusive it's not legal to do either. (constitutes abuse on your part...grrr) However... there are options depending on where you live. Best thing is to contact an attorney. Maybe give initial consults for free. Listen and take notes if you have to. Give all information, honestly and as unemtionally as possible (time for tears comes later). And then act on the advice. Good luck either choice you make.

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you take his stuff and thow it out of the house, im not kidding i know it sounds dramatic and harsh but pick a day he leaves for a few hours, take all his things, throw it into a suit case and throw it out of the house, maybe take it to his families house and explain to them whats happening. if you can change the doors locks but it all depends on how much time you have.

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