I can't stand being near my dad, I don't know why...?

I can't stand being close to my dad. As in, he comes in the room and I shut down. I can barely talk to him. It's an overwhelming feeling of disgust and discomfort, I can't describe it properly... Everything he does annoys me. I can't stand hearing him eat, I can't take any of his jokes, I can't stand him asking me about my day.. If he comes close to me, I won't lose the feeling of discomfort until about half an hour later (or more). Once in a while, when he's too close, I move away. I'm not sure if he notices, but he will sometimes move closer. I mean.. He's really nice, and he hasn't done anything particularly bad that deserves such treatment, I guess. I don't know why I feel this way. I almost slapped him a few days ago, he was bothering me (joking around, except I wasn't finding it funny) and he was invading my personal space.. I mean, what do I do? I can't bring myself to say anything to him or my mother..
(I posted this in the confessions area too, I'm sorry >_

Posted 11 months ago

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Oddi

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Gosh, it could be one or a combination of a whole load of things. He might still be seeing you as his little girl and trying to get your attention. He might not be able to accept that you are now grown up and that he needs to see you as an independent adult. It may be that because you are now a woman, you understandably feel uncomfortable about your father getting too close (even though it may be innocent enough). It could be that because you are now a woman and not a child, he is subconsciously sexually attracted to you, after all, he married a woman who looked like you! I understand this is quite common amongst men and they often withdraw from their daughters because they know the feelings are wrong. It may well be none of the above, and simply a personality conflict, getting along with your parents when you are older and living in the same house is not as easy as when you are a child.

I think perhaps you should sit down and have a chat with him about it, and explain how uncomfortable you feel. I am sure that if he is a good father he will understand and make adjustments to his behavior as best he can. But remember, you are now an adult and living in your parents home. At the end of the day, it is up to you to move on and get a place of your own if things do not work out.

Posted 11 months ago

Other 9 Answers to I can't stand being near my dad, I don't know why...?

Ryuuzaki	Posted Dec 13th, 2008 at 2:56PM I've always had a natural dislike for my uncle. My mother says it stemmed from when I was a baby because I would always scream if he came near me. I assume it's because he's a gruff, scary-looking bloke who always smells of tobacco (I come from a non-smoking family so hate that smell). Even now, aged 21, I still am not close to him. Have you always not been close to your father? Could just be a natural dislike like I have of my uncle. Rated: +1Vote for this!
faithson	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM It is weird but it seems women do react this way towards some men for no particular reason. I remember doing this to more than one fellow when I was 18. Could be infringement on our space. But life is too short to alienate one's mom and dad. If you love your parents and they love you, it would be in everyone's best interests if you could bring this out into the open in an honest way. As Oddi pointed out (and I tend to agree with Oddi most of all) there's a good chance it is based on some sexual confusion between you. Both of you need to understand where the boundaries should be. Deceit & lies are the worst things we can do to each other. In years to come, when you have your own children, your dad may be an important part of the extended family. Do everything you can to resolve this now. Rated: +1Vote for this!
void00	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM You obviously have some major issues with your father. Perhaps some incident from your childhood has caused you to distrust him? Rated: +1Vote for this!
magicaldoll	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM is it because you two have different views? i mean he wanted u to do these things for your own good but ur thinking of diff things.. thats what happened to my friend... her father dont like her bf because he's such a total freak and doing nothing bt to abuse her calling her names and cursing her everytime he see things he dont like bt she loves him so much and hates her father/parents for not accepting her bf, to the point that her father moved out from the house cos he cant stand seeing her only child's future with her current bf Rated: +1Vote for this!
Francescanolonger	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM If you can't bring yourself to say anything, then I would do my best to maintain my personal space. I hope he gets the hint if you continue to move away whenever he's too close. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Waiwera	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM When I was a child, I had several "runs in" with a male in whose care I was placed while my parents were elsewhere, as they were friends. Later in life, I met up again with the one son of the family with whom I got on well - we met in the army - and one leave this son invited me home for a few hours. The moment I met up again with his father, I sensed strong antipathy and I got a visual - which I rarely do - of being bombarded by "jagged vibes" from him. It took me by surprise; but I think from what I understand now, there was definitely a big karmic condition between us (which I never looked further into, so I don't know what it was). It sounds to me that the same thing may be operating in your case. Such a happening is occurring so that we can become conscious that a karma exists, and if we want to, set about clearing it. If you want more detail on how to do that, message me. Rated: +1Vote for this!
EmmaKelsey	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM i have the same feeling; except, i have a reason for my disgust. i can't stand anything he does. down to the littlest things like eating or breathing. Rated: +1Vote for this!
idispair	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM I feel the same way with my adoptive father..thats why I have nothing to do with him..he repulses me in every way.........he is a creep.............Ive realised that his behaviour towards me was very dominating and controlling.................. Rated: +1Vote for this!
unicorn59	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM I would suggest some counseling...it's not the usual way of relating to your dad, and there has to be a reason for it....is it just your dad, that you have this problem with? I would be inclined to think you have had some incident in your childhood, that has caused this.....(as most of our adult issues can be linked to our childhood.) Rated: +1Vote for this!

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