I have been with my husband for almost two years. We are about to have a baby together (8mo pg) I have a 3 yr old and 7yr old and he has a 5yr old that comes over everyother week for five days at a time. I'm at my breaking point, I can not stand this little girl for more then two days at a time. I don't like the influence she is on my children. Her mom is a horriable person (drugs). CPS won't take the 5 yr old out of the situation and my husband has tried to in court but nothing every happens. Need advice on what I should do so that my children are not exposed to the life style that there 5 yr old step daughter has.. also the 5 yr old doesn't listen to me because he mom tells her not to, she has no care in the world... I'm just loosing it.
abouttofreak abouttofreak 22-25, F 17 Answers Aug 31, 2012 in Family Struggles

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So does he like "your" own children or are you jealous of this little child

Marriage is a package deal you dont pick and choose when you get married with luggage

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Marriage shouldn't happen unless both people are 100% sure what they are getting into and what they are dealing with...
If a child MAY be an issue in the relationship, then DISCIPLINE should be taught, or some kind of RULING should be made...
otherwise, it is an UNFAIR relationship...

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Hold on Ned...
She's being honest and seeking answers to help her deal with this issue

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She does get disciplined but then two mins later she is doing the exact same thing. I don't like when she talks about drugs in front of my kids and what they are and what they look like. I don't think they should know what those things are. I want them to be sheltered and when she comes over its like thats out the window

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you suck

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We all have our own opinions atadir... but it would be better if you had something IMPORTANT to say, rather than put people down...
It's a shame you can't grow up enough to say something respectful...
the least you could have said is
"I don't enjoy what you have to say... but I'm not going to give you any help, sorry"

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And your a jerk

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She's an evil stepmother who hates an innocent 5-year-old for being who she is, and she has no intention of changing. In 10 more years, she's gonna give the poor kid a poisoned apple.

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The 5 y/o needs a loving home and discipline in her life.

Give her these 2 things and her behaviour will drastically improve

As for the druggy mum, just keep working away at the authorities

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Good answer

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I strongly suggest that you seek family therapy as quickly as you can, and discuss your feelings, and seek suggestions from the therapist on ways to cope with the child, and try to learn positive things you can do to bring her more into your family fold, which is the ideal solution.

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treat her with love and the same as you would your own children. its hard enough with her mom being on drugs, her dad getting into another relationship seeing other kids around she is a step sibling to a new baby on the way. its pretty chaotic.

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Ok you have some really good answers here..

and some not so good ones.

You are having a hard time coping with all thats on your plate.

She is one confused little girl who hasn't got the skills to work

out whats going on in her little heart.Take pity on her and try

to understand her.

Your husband needs to step up and set rules for your home.


Treat her the way you would want your children to be treated

if the were in the same spot.

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your hubby better handle this!

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She doesn't even listen to him

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SHE'S 5, give me a break!! Put your foot down!!!!-not trying to sound mean, but...

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thats why I swear that I don't wanna be a step mom coz I know that I wouldn't be able to give real love for the child from previous relationships...

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thats what I always said too

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my need to learn some coping skills..ASAP...she'll be around for a long time. Try to remember...a child behaviour is a product of someone else. Maybe you can work on cementing some type of bond with her.

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I've seen this happen to many couples and such...

Honestly, all I can tell you is to deal with it... or get a new husband/boyfriend/ect...

Cause abandoning the child all together is wrong...

But ignoring your problem is also wrong...

Depending on what state you live in, spanking is a good way to solve many problems..

Also proper discipline will teach the brat some manners...

If the child refuses to listen to you while he/she is in your house or whatever...

Then I suggest putting he/she in an EMPTY room, or tying the child up to a chair...

Make sure the child isn't tied up too tight, for that could result in injuries...

I too have a problem with children being annoying at times...

But if the LOGICAL answers will not solve the problem...

Then sometimes it's best to do something ILLOGICAL

Either way,

Good Luck!



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lmao..tie the child up? Wouldn't handcuffs be easier....j/k

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I have a smiliar issue except we are not married and we onoy had her every other weekend. Until october 2013 her mother was found to be addicted to heroin and she was given to her mothers mofor foster. My babys father which we have a 6 month old together decided he was going to get his daughter went down to cps and ever since than I've had to move out with my new baby in fear of cps because they are drug testing him and checking out his home and any persons I suppose under it . But the real problem is my daughter misses out on her father because of all this and I miss out on my partner . On top of it cps still wants to ask me questions even tho we don't live together about his issues and his daughter . And they have yet to go to his house or interview any other persons under the roof or even ask . In addition this five yr olr of his always takes my daughters blankets wants to play with her baby toys rather than her age appropriate toys only when I'm around with the baby . She is a huge brat and has said before while I was pregnant u still lost ve me the best dad don't you and I'm going to have better things than the baby always . And it drives me nuts . He dsnt discipline her she crys over not getting a soda r any minor thing she always asks her dad to carry her like the baby and than he never carrys our child she constantly gets her way and isn't told any different everytime we kis she starts yelling and when he is playing with the baby she will literally get in my babys face and his . On top of everything she's caused fights between us and she is a bad influence constantly talks about how she wants to wear makeup everyday and has even taken mine to put on . And her father thinks its funny when I tell her you way to young she wants to be a teenager but than wants her dad to put her in a stroller or sit in my kids car seat or have a bottle cuz he's making the baby one . She always talks about having a boyfriend already and she's just a bad seed doesn't do anything productive besides want to wear make up high heels and wants my things but wants us to treat her as a baby also . Its exhauglsting . I don't know how to tell my bt whom has asked me to marry him that I I just couldn't live FULL TIME with his kid and raise mine how I want to .

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