I would be cautious in dealing with the police. Since your daughter took and sent the picture, technically she's producing and distributing. It's not unprecedented for teenagers to wind up on sex offender lists as a result.
Yes that is an unfortunate outcome. They abuse the sex registry... which is meant for pedophiles, not confused children....
Not when dealing with a predator. The police do understand what happens with the children who are the victims. They can not be liable as victims for falling into a trap by a much more, aware, person who is grooming them. Jan Hindman wrote about the effects of victimization, and the mindset of the predators. A child in this situation is no more at fault than a woman 'asks' to be raped.
Talk to your daughter about the dangers, and you can report him,
she is a minor. Hence the reason there is laws to protect
minors, he should know better. Have a long talk to your
daughter and ask her how she feels about this, guide her
in the right direction is all you can really do. Report him if you
feel its necessary.
Lots of calls for punishment, vengeance, even violence here---but I think the most important thing is to sit down with the kid and try to get her to fully understand why what she did was both wrong and dangerous and the repercussions that could ensue.
This is such a hard decision and it takes a lot of work and talking, but with the right attitude you will get through to your daughter. Just don't stop loving her.
In today's world there is such a high demand and pressure to be sexually attractive. I see it in my daughters school and the feed back at the youth group.
She is becoming of age and experimenting with her sexuallity, finding her place in the world. Unfortunately the older man knows that and is taking advantage of the situation. If he were a true man, he wouldn't have requested her for a pic and if she did send it herself then he should have deleted it and politely told her not too and why.
He is a pig and nothing els. And if you can find a way to stop him in the future, then do so.
I hope and pray that you'll find a way to solve the situation and have a very meaningful relationship with your daughter.
If you'd like i can send you a web address of a pastor who deals in this sort of problems, whom i'm sure would help you with free advice.
I think you doing all the right things. Both love and discipline are in her life. And you're standing by her, with your guidance you'll succeed and will have a very good relationship with her. God bless
Take the phone away and spank her bottom.
13 year old female taking naked pics and sending them out.....
Does she understand that she is making and distributing "kiddy-****?"
Or that the 20 year old who may have asked for the pic is a "*********?"
Be sure to schedule her some counseling. I had friends that did that at that age.... when we were 13 it didn't seem like a big deal. Really, she needs to be taught to love her self, and feel special without a man's compliments. Girls that age feel like they are special because a man that age finds them attractive. Sending nude photos can come back and haunt her latter in her life as well... and I'm sure this wasn't the first time... Crack down hard and keep a close eye on her, she will understand better when she is older.
its the daughters fault as well.. yeah he's gross for encouraging it when he knew she was 13.. but if she was willing to send them then its not completely the guys fault? i agree with taking her computer/phone away for a while and explain to her the dangers.
but some young girls are hounded til they do , he probably threaten her
yeah maybe, if she didnt know him personally then she could've just blocked him if he did that. but we dont know the whole story he could have been nice to her and persuaded her.. who knows.
okay then...well i guess your right to call the cops then.
i'd remove all privledges from her..no cellphone...no computer and apart from school she wouldn't be going anywhere. I'd talk to her about having self respect and explain how dangerous her behaviour was and she'd certainly get the idea of my dissappointment in her.
This gets back to one of my pet hates....our kids are exposed to too much. All the crap they're bombared with via movies and media.
As for him....i'd be feeling pretty much the same as you...and someone would pay him a visit...someone capable of scaring the **** out of him...and he'd know it was me.
Child ****....what a creep.
IF YOUR DAUGHTER HAVE LEARNING DISABILITY, UOIU SHOULD PUT PARENTAL CONTROL ON HER COMPUTER EVEN IF IT MEANS TO BLOCK A CHAT SITES, GROUP SITE, FB, ETC. SHOULD COMPUTER BE USE ONLY FOR SCHOOL WORK. AND IS SHOULD BE ONLY USING THEM WHEN YOU ARE IN THE SAME ROOM.
I WONDER IF THE 20 YEARS OLD HAVE LEARNING DISABILITY TOO, CUZ HES STILL A CHILD?
I KNOW SOME ON HERE KEPT SAYING IS YOUR DAUGHTER FAULT. IT LIKE SAYING IT A VICTIM FAULT FOR BEING RAPE. YOUR DAUGHTER NEED TO LEARN. YOU NEED TO DISCUSSED WITH HER. IT MAY BE CHALLENGING, IF YOU CAN'T, YOU NEED COUSELOR HELP JUST AS WELL.
After your anger has subsided, and believe I do sympathise with your sentiment regards this persons throat but I would probably make him suffer longer a matter of taste, you know you need to have lang talks with your right? (Yes I did read all the comments, also the one about your daughter being like a 3rd grader in some respects)
I wish you strength and wisdom
i dont mean to get him off the hook here but maybe you dont realise that 13 year olds these days are hardly innocents waiting to be corrupted. you should find a way to deal with youre daughter as well because she has a mind of her own and is feeling sexually open. its just the beginning. now, its cam , next it will be someone s bed. you should however be happy it was a 20 year old and not a 40 year old.
Agreed. I am a father of 4 girls, (and a handful of adoptees) and I might have TALKED to the guy, and asked him kindly, "If she does this again, you are to contact me IMMEDIATELY (or risk getting lost on my farm.) and/or Serious police involvement.
I would have then changed her phone plan to keep an online record of EVERY call/text, etc... and handed it right back to her with a stern warning. "Further behavior of that sort will result in severe punishment/lockdown/new school/ZERO social life...and practically daily counseling...."
I hate to be harsh, but you need to rip your daughter's throat out too. Unfortunately parasites are a dime a dozen but you only have one daughter. My daughter sent a pic of herself in a bathing suit to Facebook and guess what? Her dad and I took her computer and damn near pulled her tonsils out. We got the parents of the year award that year - NOT. I'll be on that list anytime when it comes to my daughters safety against predators.
Where did your daughter get the idea to send nude pics in the first place? How did you alow a 20 year old guy access to your 13 year old? Most 13 year old girl I see or know would run away from a 20 year old mans addvances. Children learn by example, It's not illegal to answer your phone but it is illegal to create and transmit child **** and thats exactly what your daughter did. So If you wish to go after this 20 year old guy for solisiting your daughter don't be suprized if they also file charges against your daughter and by law that makes her a sex offender. Your daughter had to want this and and persued this guy otherwise she would have told you there was this guy after her. If you go after the guy he can allso file charges against your daughter for sexting.
I would print up blurred pics of your daughter & blow them up lifesize so you can paste them on the dudes windshield & put in big black letters...CHILD MOLESTER..then I would have a long talk with your daughter & introduce her to a yardstick like my ma used to use on my butt for doing the wrong things. Crack the stick til it breaks...she'll get the point after a while
Hate? This 20 year old "man" is a *********!!
Having a daughter of my own i dont even like reading that one, long talk to daughter then send me that fukkkers name n address if the police dont do somethin....
You have to be strong. Take an adult approach to the problem. Firstly you have to make her understand that what she did was wrong. Ok the Guy was at fault too. She is the one that choose to take and send the pics. Maybe there are underlying reasons for her doing this ? She is not the first or last girl to do such a thing. Help and guidence is what she needs. Spend time talking to her, let her know the dangers and
outcome of such silly pranks. Just dont be to hard on her.
Was the guy aware she was going to send him photos?