I don't have a healthy relationship. What should I do to change it? Please help. See details
Okay, mind you I'm only 16, but don't let that make you exit out of this question.. Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 14 months, and our relationship during the summer isn't always good because my parents don't let me stay at the house, so I move in with my dad. Point is, we hardly see eachother. So when we try to see eachother and plans fall through, I feel like he guilt trips me and make me feel like crap. And yesterday, my dad brought this to my attention when he said, "Why are you letting him manipulate you? Plans fall through. Tell him to respect it and wait, if he loves you like he says he does, then he can." When I tried to tell him (boyfriend) about it, I got scared and weak. Wondering what he'd say or do.. Like he'd hurt me. Either with words or some other way.. I don't want to lose him. But I have to be treated better, more than what he's fixed already. He's trying to treat me better.. But I don't see a difference as much as I'd like. What do I do? Help.
5 Answers to "I don't have a healthy relationship. What should I do to change it? Please help. See details"
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Billions. Literally billions of other guys out there. Doesn't mean you won't come back to this guy once he has grown up a bit, but for now... date other guys.
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Angela, you do need to leave him. This is a time when you should date a variety of boys, to find out what you want in the man u marry. Find a way to move on gracefully and without recrimination, if you possibly can.How about. I want to date others for a year, to be sure of what we have here. If he doesn't like that it's too bad. You do need to circulate.
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I agree with your dad. If your boyfriend really cares about you, he will wait until you are see him. If your boyfriend is impatient and threatens to leave you or go out with other girls, then what kind of guy is he. You're only sixteen, you have your whole life ahead of you - there is no need to rush anything. You don't owe your boyfriend anything but your time and your commitment when you are together. Have a b-b-q and invite your boyfriend over. Go out to the movies or something. Invite some other friends over. Your boyfriend should be your friend, and friends don't pressure other friends to do anything.
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Its good your dad pointed it out to you. He seems to care more about whhat he wants than your feelings. First start reading about co-dependancy and about bounderies. Get educated about how relationships should be like.
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Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by FlauntTheImperfections Jun 29th, 2012 at 8:44AM
I know you might not want to hear this, but you need to really consider what is going on.
You are in a relationship where your motivation to stay with this person is partially the fear that you will be hurt. This is NEVER ok. If you accept this of him or any other person in a relationship, you are setting yourself up to fall into a pattern of abusive partners.
A person who loves you would not need to 'try' to treat you better. I don't want you thinking this boy's behavior is either normal or what you should expect of men going forward in your life. It is not.
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