im sorry and i am not being sarcy but, if EP seems like a better place to come for answers than a proffessional councillor/psych then you have bigger problems than finding yourself.<br />
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genuine point i mean you will not find the answer here.

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Well your definitely coming off that way so I wouldn't bother with the "socially polite sorry" from the start lol and if you had taken a second to ask you'd know I DO see a psych for my depression... I'm not looking for answers I'm looking for opinions so if you don't have one you kinda wasted your time lol

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Hmm this message board is Called Experience Project. It's put together so people can share their experiences.. I'm going to assume that you find answers to those things that you feel comfortable in and around so you can validate yourself. Why are you so critical of others who have come here to share and enjoy and find comfort in the same way?

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im pretty sure that reply, fits the description of opinion! at least in the correct sense, matbe not in your assumtive short-sighted world but definately in mine

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if that were a valid point/question why would the ability to reply to any post ny any member be a function?

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You need time to digest and decide what to do. Often we want our ex'es back because they're familiar, because we want that feeling of certainty and warmth we felt with them back. <br />
But it doesn't mean things can be the same once you are back together again. <br />
I say time will show. Live and see how it goes with him being back. Try to see things for what they are now. You are older, more experienced and wiser. <br />
As for the symptoms you described, it really sounds like you are seriously depressed. Get into therapy, it will help you get past it. Depression shouldn't be battled alone. And your guy needs therapy too. That kind of trauma won't go unnoticed.<br />
Good luck.

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lol

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@prettygirl: exactly my point re. you. grow up for once will ya?

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Time. Time works. God knows I've got enough lol I am only 22 lol so basically "one step at a time" kinda thing? Don't take this the wrong way but I don't see how that can help... I mean yea remembering to breath and all that's great but I'm doing it and it's not working.. I need hands on stuff to do. Like... Making posters of hopes and dreams kinda thing. Hands on stuff so I REALLY have to think about it right? And I've been trying to get him to but his parents drilled it into him that shrinks are only out there for the money kinda thing so he's really hesitant about going. He won't even (not that it surprises me) admit that it was rape. He figures it was cheating but no matter what I do to tell him rape is rape he just shrugs it off as cheating... Iunno I'll have to talk with my doc about it to see if I can change his point of view on it. I do see a psych about this (I did JUST start though so not much has been touched).

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Its a good thing you see a doc about it. As for time, not that it works (sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't) and not the one step at a time thing, different situation, but the reason I said you need time is to figure out if you still want him for him, and not that feeling you had before when you were together. Because that's two different things and you can't tell them apart off the bat. You back then wanted him, had pink glasses on your nose, now you're more experienced, seen enough of his flaws, you are more mature, so now you can make a different decision. I'm just going off my own experience. In short. Was a guy, I was head over heels for him, saw everything in pink light; but it was all pain pain pain for me so i broke it off, frequently wondered what if. Met another guy, then another guy. Got older, more experienced and then once bumped into that pain pain pain crush and realized that yay i'm finally over him and omg i was smart to dump him. Because I was looking at him with more experienced eyes. But from what I'm hearing from you, even when he came back its still pain for you, so maybe what you need is another break from him. To take a breath, regroup and reassess. If he's being such a pain to you, if that relationship isn't bringing you any good emotions and his family still has such a big impact on him... do you really need him? I don't believe in positive posters and uplifting cheesy advice, because it is usually useless... Maybe a break from him will be that thing you need to make the decision. And if he starts blackmailing you into staying with anything - leave. I have no respect for guys who blackmail, because they usually only think about themselves.

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Whos "he'? and I was going to say,before I read your story you should make a list and wow did he say he got raped?like by a female lol umm yea dont be a fool or a idiot lol did she tie him up and make him...well whats the question here i think guys can get raped but not like that lol and find another guy a cute guy avoid him he seems like he cause you a lot of heartache leave him alone..goodluck

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for your info guys do get raped, and it isn't that rare. guys don't talk about it because of the reaction they get from people like you.

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this isn't a debate as to whether a man can get raped or not. This person has already said they don't want to discuss this, and wants to find answers to her questions.. but yes, beleive it or not, men can be raped. arousal is a physical condition, not a voluntary condition.

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My boyfriend was drunk at a party and she waited until he was passing out to jump him. Legally, if he can't give consent (and he was in NO state to), it's rape. Rape is rape weather it's victim is male OR female.
And like I said already, this isn't a debate about that. Like at all.

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By women?

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I understand arousal is physical but i just cant see this happening but sorry for my closed minded views ill look it up on the internet later...

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By women?Im talking about men not kids and yep this is the reaction you will get how will a guy pop a ***** if he inst horny dont let them play that card on you

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Thank you!

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Exactly! Just like MrsJ said "arousal is a PHYSICAL condition. NOT a voluntary condition."

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Decide what it is that you want in/with your life, she'll be right there with you.

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I've already done that though. I know exactly what I want and how to get to it... As in things like college and where I want to live. The house I want... Wedding and kids... Stuff like that. I mean like... I don't know how to smile anymore. I don't know why I get up in the morning anymore. I used to be the most easy going person I know but... It's not there anymore. I put up alot of walls and I don't know how to get rid of them.

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I have all of those feelings, and I'm almost 60 years old. The only thing that you have that is certain is right now. You have a lot of wonderful aspirations, we all do, and we all thought they were daunting before we did them. Just be who you like, and who you want to be.. with a little work, everything falls into place, not always nicely, but at least in place.

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I'm trying to be who I like but it's not working... I can't get there again...

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