I have and I have explained why I did is well :( he speaks to me and says he loves me and he miss me but he can't be with me and I just don't know what to do anymore I hate my self for it

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I think it's safe to say you were lost when you were with that person as well.

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Lies have consequences! Apologize, maybe they will forgive. If not, learn from it and never do this again. :(

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have you tried apologizing?

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