We all remember and miss things that were special in our past experiences. Like everything else in life, they transform and fade and even disappear; whether we like it or not, time marches on and sometimes drags the unrecognizable remnants of our joy behind it.
Hopefully you have changed in ways you are proud of, and can take the good memories and learn from them/build upon them, and be grateful that you had these times but did not get stuck or become someone you wouldn't want to be as your exes seem to have done.
Look at it this way: Now you know what you appreciate and love, and what you don't like and won't tolerate. Life is full of lessons and the hard ones usually have to do with personal (and intimate) interactions. Each time we are brave enough to give our hearts and souls and bare our true selves, we make ourselves vulnerable but also open to extreme and rapid growth gained through the difficulty of resolving our deepest and most painful emotions.
Once we know what this is like and that by some miracle we do recover, we are able to build better and better relationships and feel the greatest love and joy that exists.
So do I. But we will never move on and find what would be more better for us if we keep dwelling on the past. Open yourself up for something new and better. Something new will always be better than something old you once had.
My answer dates me but, this question reminds me of the song, "The Way We Were". Naturally our mind wants to block pain and many times it seems it obscures what was painful in the past and with time you forget all the negatives and remember the good times.
"Memories, light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories of the way we were.
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we give to one another
For the way we were.
Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me would we? Could we?
Memories, may be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter we will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were."
Now. what do you do? Realize that the past is not real. The past is the past and it only exists in one place...Your memories (your mind) . Realize too that the future is not real. It too exists only in your mind. It is your mind projecting past experiences. Nothing ever happened in the past and nothing will happen in the future. When thing happen they happen in the NOW. this the eternal moment of the Now. Cherish this moment for it is truely all you have. This does not mean you can't plan for the fure because the future will come and when it does it will be the Now. When you live your live in the now you will quiet your mind because the mind can really only deal with the past and the future. It tries to protect you and keep you safe from pain, suffereing and danger. It does this by recalling the past and then projecting thoes experiences into the future. This is not a bad thing...IF you are aware of it. Realize you are not your mind. You are not that voice in your head. You are the force that focuses the mind. You are that entity that the mind is talking to. When you live in the now your mind is quiet and you can just.....Beeeeeeeeeeeee.
It's normal to reflect back to the pleasant memories of the past. But it sounds like you need to move forward and find someone new to occupy your time.
that is understandable. but you must take the chance in order to find a new love. there is always hurt involved with love to some degree but it is minor compared to the joy of loving someone. good luck to you.