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Two years ago I was in an abusive relationship. It left me with anxiety and low self estem. My current boyfriend is amazing. I love him very much and I know he loves me. He is a kidder. Likes to joke and play around sarcasticly a lot and I tend to take everything he says seriously. My ex that was abusive would say mean and hurtful things to me all the time and I guess when my currently boyfriend says silly things just playing around i take him seriously. He gets frustrated with me because I take everything to heart and get upset easily. Im scared im going to push him away or something. How do you move on and forget the past and not let it effect your current relationship?
Beautifuleyes11 Beautifuleyes11 26-30, F 6 Answers Jul 14, 2012

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Everything you experience will affect you in one way or another. If you feel things are carrying over from a past relationship - talk it out with your significant other. Don't play the avoidance game.

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Try not to worry too much, for starters. Your bf knows that you were in an abusive relationship before, correct? If he doesn't, you need to just mention that and tell him that you don't mean to take his jokes so seriously all the time, and you hope he can understand that it's your past that makes you react that way, and you hope he can help you overcome it. With any luck, instead of driving him away, it will help to bring you closer together.

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It will affect you -without you even knowing it . I am 55 and it taught me never to trust-so Iam alone agin. Enjoying it.

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I also was in a very abusive relationship for 10 years. Its hard to recover from that. I tried dating afterwards but found I have issues trusting men to not hurt me. Don't be like me. I no longer date because of it. Maybe some day we will figure out how to put all that passed us.

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I don't approve of sarcasm for the most part. Too many people are passive-aggressive. Then they blame the other person for bring hypersensitive, so you get two bad acts. People who can't play without it aren't in my life.<br />
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If you look at a dictionary definition, it is designed to cause pain.<br />
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Choose again? I think perhaps sarcasm is a red flag.

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I agree. I too Em sarcastic at times and that is/was the foundation of my humor. Turns out, only I see the humor when others would be easily offended. My sarcasm was a defense mechanism from past abusive or unhealthy relationships ... I am trying desperately to find new humor, in a more positive light....

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