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whiteangle whiteangle 36-40, F 8 Answers May 3, 2010

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I felt the same way at one point but I got out of it very quickly so I don't have a lot of guilt but the guilt I have is enough in itself that I know I will never get over it; I know my son didn't.

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I don't have kids but i understand how an abusive relationship shapes you towards others and life(by personal experience).<br />
You may feel you've let your kids down and you may indeed have done that but you shouldn't beat yourself up for that. You've been traumatized and its hard to overcome the emotional stress, fear and pain you are experiencing!! Your kids may even blame you for their own emotional instabilities as they grow older and become teenagers but trust me once they become adults they will understand. Kids usually feel let down by their parents because they feel like they are the ones to blame for the abuse. <br />
Nevertheless, you are strong enough and will be even stronger in the future to stand beside your kids no matter what. The guilt you are feeling is understandable but you mustn't let it get in the way..the first step is to understand that your abuse was caused by another person and the act of that person makes you inflict guilt and abusive feelings towards yourself. The second is to release your fear and believe that your life is your own.

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I never stayed with a man who hit me but everyone of my boyfriends have cheated on me including my husband, I thought i raised my kids to never let a man hit them but everyone of my grown girls are in abusive relationship where the husbands or boyfriends beat them and or cheat on them, so yes I let my kids down, I was not strong enough or wise enough to walk away and the trouble is I still am not

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kids are very resilient, but i know how you feel my son was witness to my abusive relationship. but that relationship is dead and buried and has been for a while. and he is a very happy kid. ( patience & communication is key)

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Not many kids have a "Perfect" upbringing most can get over quite a lot.

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well I've let my kids down in lots of ways too, we do the best we can at the time, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, whatever I am sure you did your best

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