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I feel insecure cause my husband is always looking at other women like he wants to gobble them up what should?

I do? I mean there are some really pretty girls out there, but how much can a woman take. Married 14 years, he's always been this way and it hurts me and he is trying not to do this so much but I can tell, I think he wants to be with other women. Should I leave him so he can? I think he was too young to get married and never really had many women and I was 12 years older than him. I always feel I made a mistake marrying him.

Posted 3 months ago

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unionoflove

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what an ugly thing to live with. ok, he is probably looking at these women to make you feel insecure. it does not matter why, though. in all honesty, we ALL notice when other people are attractive, that is just human. humans are beautiful.... however, we can choose to think to ourselves,"he/she is really hot. nice boobs or butt or shoulders. cool". then look away and all is well. or we can look and allow ourselves to fantasize and become aroused with these people, which is where the betrayal of adultering spouses comes in toward thier spouse and toward God.
in committing to marriage, he vowed to forsake all others. that means others in magazines, movies, real life. Jesus said," He who looketh on another woman to lust after her hath already committed adultery in his heart".
in committing to marriage, he vowed to take care of you and love you. he is faltering here as well.
you need to talk with him, tell him(with hurt in your eyes, not anger... but NOT CRYING) that you married him because you believed in the sacred union of marriage and wanted to share that with him always. ask if he knows what the sacred union of marriage is supposed to look like or be. then talk about it calmly.
ask lovingly, "do you still want to be married to me?" tell him to PLEASE take his time thinking about it. if he says he does want to, tell him you will be expecting alot more from him to prove it through his actions. he needs to care about the sacred promise you both made, and about your feelings. then discuss what you need from him, and if he wants to be married he will change. if he does not change, you know he does not REALLY want to be married to you. and if he says no, you know what to do.
I am sorry this is going on in your marriage. but I have faith that things can really get better... with or without him. You have to respect yourself, and demand the same from him. zero tolerance...show him you mean business. If he does not change, just tell him calmly that if he is over it enough to not change, that you are over it enough to leave. tough love is usually the only thing that will work for someone if thier heart is hardened. if his heart is not hardened, then maybe he will come around quickly, but you have got to put your foot down with your actions. nagging him or crying won't really work.

Posted 3 months ago

Other 19 Answers to I feel insecure cause my husband is always looking at other women like he wants to gobble them up what should?

unicorn59	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 11:54AM Out of everything you posted...my biggest concern is your last sentence...."you always felt you made a mistake marrying him".....That should tell you what to do....Obviously, something is wrong...your gut is trying to tell you something. He is being very disrespectful of you, to do this in front of you....I, personally, have dealt with this, too....The worst part is, you see him do it....you mention it to him, then he denies it....like you don't know what you're talking about.... You need to decide if this is something you can/want to deal with for the rest of your married life....answer it honestly, and you'll have your answer....Good luck to you. Rated: +3Vote for this!
TheRealWoman	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 2:58PM Believe in yourself and the marriage, but if he proves that your love and faithfulness is wasted, hold your head high as you kick his sorry behind out. Good luck and love. Rated: +2Vote for this!
LadyJ85	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 2:59PM Sweetie. Have you EVER heard the phrase, "You can window shop, but ya can't touch the merchandise?" Well that applies to marriage. Just because he has a ring on his finger doesn't mean he's going to stop noticing the opposite sex. Now...........noticing them is one thing. Flat out ogling is another and THAT is rude. You haven't mentioned how communication is in your marriage, but if you have already talked to him about this and he isn't changing....you have two options: A-Assess what it is YOU are getting out of the marriage. B-Do the same thing to him and show him how it feels. Rated: +2Vote for this!
facelessforgetabl e	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 11:59AM I'm inclined to agree with many others on this as well, especially Robbo21 answer. We do have control over what we do with ourselves, but where our minds and emotions go are somewhat spurilous on occasion. It would seem that he hasn't acted on his impulses, but like the stock market, there is no gaurantee of future success and the right conditions. What it really comes down to is "Do you trust him?" and if you do, then whether he looks while you're standing there or far away in another state will determine how you feel about him both now and after some other female piques his passing interest. I have had this experience and from what I've learned, is that men don't place a very emotional connection on looking. In his mind, looking at other women is just that, looking. You can confront him and then the behavior becomes a game as one responder said. Or you can ignore said behavior at the cost of your feelings. Again, do you trust him?And do you believe he would do the right thing even if he were tempted? Rated: +2Vote for this!
21stCenturySchizo idMan	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 11:17AM Maybe he's hungry, go out to eat! Rated: +2Vote for this!
rob57	Posted Jul 30th, 2009 at 9:23AM WOW!!! You sound like my girlfriend... I love to look at women. I don't look at them in a wanting or lustful way at all I just like to look... I don't love my girlfriend any less when I look at a pretty woman. Even though I ended up with someone who I don't think is the prettiest woman in the world, we get along great and she is a very normal woman compared to most in my past. I am happy with her and I know she loves me very much... That is all I need and all I want. I wouldn't even want the hassle of starting over with someone... But I still like to look, and now since she has brought it to my attention it seems unintentionally I look even more....Hmmm I can't figure that out I don't try to do it to be mean to her in any way in fact I wish I could stop looking but I can't.... As long as he loves you don't put so much emphasis on it, Rated: +2Vote for this!
basspla<x>y er	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 8:53AM Talk to him. Lack of communication is the main thing that makes almost every marriage fail. Women tend to think that when a man looks at another woman that they no longer desire them. It is not necessarily so at all. You say you think he want to be with other women? Ask him. If being with him is what you want, ask him how you can make your marriage better for him. Tell him how you feel when he looks at other women. Talk openly about your feelings and most importantly try to avoid using the word "you". Use the word "me" instead and tell him how you really feel. Best of luck BASS Rated: +1Vote for this!
Amadis	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 8:36AM let him, no. then you lose your love for him and it's all over. all you can do is hope that when he steps outside the line, you won't know it. and no, it's not your fault, it's nature's fault who made males this way. we all look at all women and have dreams about. we try not to cheat ( some harder, some less) . i had all the experiences possible before marriage, can't count the relations and little adventures i had, married at 31 and still, not entirely content with just one women. only the thought of same women for the rest of my life, hurts. but hey, there are 3 years since we're married and didn't cheat until now. i flirt a lot, i joke, i smile... petty replacements for the part of my life that marriage forbids. Rated: +1Vote for this!
humptydumpty85	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 8:44AM feed him more...lol... Rated: +1Vote for this!
theredlady	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 8:50AM My husband liked to look too. He loved me, I know, so I didn't worry about it . Boys will be boys after all. Make him aware of your feelings about it. I always kind of made a game of it with him by pointing out girls that he might be attracted to. He enjoyed the game. I always told him he can look, but not to touch. He didn't seem to mind that at all. Try that out and see what happens. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Bluegrass	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 8:53AM Turn the tables and gawp at all the handsome men. Even if there are none, pretend and see your husband's reaction. How does he like it now? Rated: +1Vote for this!
halcyondaysofillu sion	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 8:54AM Listen to how he talks about them, and you'll have your answer. All by itself, eying outside women is harmless and inevitable, especially if "settling down" wasn't on his agenda when you first brought up marriage. If he gets a little too excited when he talks about these women, though, you have every reason to doubt his emotional commitment to you. Rated: +1Vote for this!
robbo21	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 8:59AM I'm sure on occasions you have also spotted a sexy bloke who you find attractive and so had a sneaky look. Women are no different to men there, our hormones have that effect on us too. The only thing that separates us from animals is that generally we have control over our hormones and we don't mount people in the street! If your husband was over the age of 18 when he married you and he wasn't held at gun point when he said "I do" then he is a adult who made the choice to marry you freely. He still has that choice whether to stay or whether to ask for a divorce. Your husband is an intelligent adult who is able to make choices based on things other than his reaction to hormones. If he is still choosing to stay after 14 years, it must be because he loves you and is choosing to be with you because you are you.... Stop worrying and let him know you love him too.... Chances are, the more attention you pay him, the more he will notice you and then he'll stop looking at the other women anyway. :o) Rated: +1Vote for this!
theloveslave	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 9:11AM I can understand your insecurity. I get more upset because I am insecure with me, not the relationship. I do not feel he should disrespect you when he see's another woman. I am totally against that. I know sometimes can't help but look but then again neither can I. More so at other woman. Trust you me, if I see a beautiful woman or one with big boobs coming my way I look too. Just human nature and well of course if he was next to me, i'd be watching his reaction to see if he looks. Of course he gets in trouble for it lol so try not to take it personally and i know its easier said than done because I do feel the same way. But again he is with you and choose you. If he seems like he is trying to get names, #'s or flirts in front of you.. THEN you have serious trouble and he is disrespecting you. But you do have to let him be aware that it hurts you and you have a hard time dealing with it. Don't try to blame him for being a male but that you want him to understand your feelings.. Good luck... Rated: +1Vote for this!
miguelote	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 9:25AM Maybe try to be as passionate as possible and make sure his needs are comepletely met. If you do this and he still keeps looking then dump him and look for someone who will keep focus on you. Rated: +1Vote for this!
AngelofLife	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 9:36AM You know I Feel the same way you do with my husband. I use to be quiet about it and not say anything cause I didn't want to start a fight. Now if I see him doing it I get really pissed off. I ask him am I not good enough for him. I use to be Slim and sexy Just pregnant at the moment. But don't take that crap you don't deserve it. If you let a man make you feel like crap he'll never stop stand up for you and your beliefs and if he can't except the way you feel Walk away.. If you think it was a mistake it probably was find someone to treat you better.. Rated: +1Vote for this!
SummerWind18	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 12:00PM eeeewwww... what I would do personally is dress really slutty with lots of makeup so he will stop paying attention to them. Maybe even do a ***** tease for him or seductively eat cherries and popsicles? Rated: +1Vote for this!
kendu	Posted Jul 29th, 2009 at 2:58PM some men are like big flirts. Rated: +1Vote for this!
malageetha60	Posted Jul 30th, 2009 at 4:23AM do nt worry .almost all the men and women is like this.even though spouse looks beautiful the habit of looking other opposite sex is normal.looking other guys are not harm than tkinking other guys duing masterbationor sex with others. friend be frank do you not fantacy other men during sex with your husband.it is normal . go ahead with your normal life. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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I feel insecure cause my husband is always looking at other women like he wants to gobble them up what should?

Other 19 Answers to I feel insecure cause my husband is always looking at other women like he wants to gobble them up what should?

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