i've never been 100% happy living at home, but recently my mum has got way too controlling. to the point where she wont even let me eat in the house when she's not at home because i'll "makes a mess" when i always try to do things to please her. i haven't ate all day and i just went to get a slice of toast and she shouted at me and refused to let me eat until dinner is ready, i'm starving upset and all i can do lately is cry. i'm getting so angry aswell i literally feel like i want to smash up my whole room sometimes. last night i was so bad i ended up drinking some spirits taking pills and crying in the bathroom on my own and just broke down. i've tried to tell her what i get like sometimes but she just says im being pathetic. don't know how much more i can handle. i have a boyfriend who is 18 (i'm 16) and we're so close and he already talks about me and him moving in together. because we are in love. that's my only choice but again my controlling mother wouldn't let me do anything.
elliexoxo elliexoxo 16-17, F 9 Answers Jan 1, 2013 in Family Struggles

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I do think you may be a bit young to move in with the bf but looking at the rest of it its just terrible. At your age you are still growing and need to eat. Im so sorry

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That's awful. Even worse than my parents. Can you last another few years until you are of age, then she can't stop you leaving? If not then you may need to get help. You need to eat. Message me if you want to talk.

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what 'sunnygirls2' replied above can be tried{1] child services[2]boyfriend may be an option' with the limitations of it , as mentioned by her[3] Are there any other family members you could stay with?

[4]As adviced by 'Quantumphysica' :-Get food out of the house and eat, [or try eating without her seeing;in any other room ]

[5]proverbs:- Fighting must not be the key to go, it should be reserved as your last resource. ;.

If you have an enemy, pretend to be friends with them instead of openly fighting with them;

Trying to convince people with ideas and words is more effective than trying to force people to;

The world is won by those who let it go--till you can support yourself

[6]As 'fakeola' replied above :- ultimately if you can't go and live on your own though then you are not ready.

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Why don't you try talking to your mom and suggesting that you will really try no to make a mess when she's away and ask her to give you one day of eating when she's gone to show her you want to be a bit more responsible. If she gives you that opportunity really make an effort to do a good job. She'll be pleased and will hopefully give you positive feedback and see that you're really trying. I know this sounds lame but it may work. If you put in the effort she may back off a little bit.

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My mother can be like that too. You need to throw her insults back at her - it works. When she complains about anything call her pathetic out loud. When she feels the hurt from those words she will think twice about using them.

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Get food out of the house, you really need to eat.

As long as you don't have the money to get yourself a place of your own -read my lips, of your OWN, so that when that relation breaks off you're not obliged to crawl on your knees back to Miss Controlling- you can't move out.

Always, always, always remember this: The Thoughts Are Free.

Curse her in mind. Kill her in mind. Put your frustration and anger towards her, not towards yourself.

Make sure you talk to people too, talking always helps.

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I was going to suggest child services, but your boyfriend may be an option. Just be really careful, as you will be in a vulnerable position and if he became abusive that'd be a terrible position to be in. Are there any other family members you could stay with?

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If your mother isn't going to be sympathetic than stand up to her, show her you are not pathetic, and by all means move out with the boyfriend if you think it will be better...

Just be aware that being self sufficient is expensive and challenging, it takes some getting used to...

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when i stand up to her i get it back 10 times worse so there isnt much i can do. if i even suggested to her i was even thinking about moving in with him she wouldn't have it at all

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its hard to quantify this, but then you are not really standing up... just causing a scene. be relentless and unforgiving. its hard but necessary if you want to get yourself out of these situations. ultimately if you can't go and live on your own though then you are not ready...

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