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I can't really control it. those of you who have read my previous question, will know that i don't really see him a lot. We've been together a year and i'm more in love with him than ever despite the "time" issue we have, which doesn't count as an issue anymore. i get moments in the day where i just want to send him a text message saying I love him and exactly how much. I know he never has time to read them properly, and he won't reply because he's so busy. But it always makes me feel good to let him know how much he means to me. I write out loads of messages during the day but I always delete them because i don't want to annoy him and try and cut it down to 1 or 2 at the most. But once it's deleted i feel rubbish about it and write another to send to him, and around in circles we go. I don't know why i do this, or why i feel like this. He never says it annoys him, but im scared it eventually will. how can i stop it? is it worth me talking to him about it?
LawRaJayne LawRaJayne 18-21, F 4 Answers Apr 25, 2011

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the more often you use it, the less value it has. the more he hears it, the less he appreciates it. he will just accept it as another greeting. don't suffocate him with those words. Make those words mean something when it matters most.

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see what happens when you want to say it, and don't....stay with whatever feeling comes up...that's what's going on...it could be unmet childhood need that has got triggered and your afraid, it could be you want to control him because you are afraid, it may be because you have so much repressed love that wants to come out...whatever it is you need to feel it in the body at the time you are on the verge of saying it and then stay with it without doing anything, breath and be with it, it's not you it's just a feeling that is very strong and you need to find out what's behind it, then tell us here!<br />
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Okay, so you have information now on what it's about. it's not a childhood thing it's more about not seeing him as much as you would like and then you say <br />
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and maybe alot of where this is coming from is how i want to feel - by him<br />
Well maybe i like to tell him that i feel all that for him, because i miss feeling it myself.<br />
he's so busy and he does try his best. But maybe sometimes it's not enough?<br />
i need to be told it sometimes too<br />
He does love me, i know he does. It's just he doesn't show it as much as i'd like, so i show it to him to make up for what i miss i guess<br />
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Bingo, you have got it. So just stay with your thoughts and feelings, this is about YOU and the answers are right there where they have always been, inside yourself. Good luck

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ive just sat and thought about what you said. I've sort of got an idea in my head of what it could be.. but it has nothing to do with my childhood. I had a good, happy upbringing..I think it's my relationship that makes me feel this way. The fact that i don't see my boyfriend as much as I'd like, I don't speak to him as much as I'd like either, and maybe alot of where this is coming from is how i want to feel - by him. If someone tells you they love you alot, then you're bound to feel loved, wanted, needed.. am i right? Well maybe i like to tell him that i feel all that for him, because i miss feeling it myself. It's not his fault, he's so busy and he does try his best. But maybe sometimes it's not enough? maybe im trying to hint to him that what im saying to him, i need to be told it sometimes too. He does love me, i know he does. It's just he doesn't show it as much as i'd like, so i show it to him to make up for what i miss i guess.<br /><br />update*: thanks :)

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Maybe you just feel the need to express your feelings.... He probably likes to hear from you about it once in a while... but If you feel like you are bothering him and worried you might go overboard, have you ever thought about just writing it all down in a journal?<br />
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I think I know what you mean, it's like talking to a wall, goes nowhere so it feels like it's still trapped in there.

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I have done, but i feel a little stupid :(.. i wish i didn't because i found with other problems.. not like this one obviously but other things.. to write it down so it's there in black and white it helps. but i feel silly for doing it because nobody can see it. I feel like i'm going crazy talking to a computer.. if you get what i mean.<br /><br />update*: yeah thats exactly right.

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My guess is you have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and you are obsessive about other things too. If this is a big problem in your life with other issues too, I would see a psychiatrist. You state that you can't stop and you do this all the time. This is compulsive and obsessive on your part.

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you make it sound like a bad thing that i love my boyfriend that much that i want to tell him all the time. It's not like that. I can go without telling him, but i feel as if i don't want to.

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