Ok read me well. Science is for the brave, you CAN find a solution for your problem, that's what science is all about, solutions for problems! You need to study and focus your time on your disease, read about it, about researches being made, and don't f-ucking EVER lose hope until you die! No internet "love" is gonna make you better, and the only way we can help you is by giving you some sort of idea of what you should do, but after that, you should DO it!
Implement #2+ @ http://foreverthemostimportant.com/The.Luciferian.Doctrine.pdf