being a parent is not the same thing as being a friend
all teenagers rebel against their parents in some way - it is the natural order of things - this just means the relationship is changing, not over
not of my own, i teach and counsel teens though
The fact that it took as long as it did (her being 16 YO) is amazing. This always happens. If other parents say it hasn't they are lying to you and themselves. At 16 you cannot be their friend and they need you to be the hard line in terms of limits. She could get extremely vicious at times. This is common and few parents admit it making us feel like we have given birth to some sort of evil child but behind closed doors they are all doing the same thing your daughter is doing. It will all come full circle. My daughter took a long time to come back. She was in her late twenties but that is longer then normal. You are not at fault!!!! I promise!!
It has been said few times up You are not her friend you are her parent. In a way she is maybe expecting this authority figure (ok here I do not mean the "Dictator" figure or the "Mollestor") but a sort of "anchor" in her life that do not do what she want but do what is best for her. She maybe not appreciating now but it will help shaping her ownself (hopefully) and she will recognised that later. If you show now that you are upset by the fact she is not her friend anymore then you are potentially putting yourself at the same level than a lots of her friends in her teenage friend circle (high turn-over rate of in and out maybe?). Whatever will happen you will stay her parent.
On the other hand, if you have some personal issues I would suggest you address that with a profesional (there is nothing wrong with that) and you open to your daugther about those issues to a minimum (use the profesional help for that). Remember you are an "anchor" not perfect but you are the authority.
When I was a teenager, I was quite against my dad (ok I come from a sort of dysfunctional family but like most of the fam they are all a bit dysfunctional) anyway around 20ish I turn into an adult and he was my dad, the person I can count on as a dad. I lost him 10 years ago but he often pop in my head when I have trouble in a given situation, he was this anchor and I think what he would do if he was in that situation. Anyway good luck!
I am sure you are doing good simply continue. I am myself a parent of a 4years old girl, yesterday she was sick and anything I was doing was simply upseting her, I got a bit upset myself about it too :) We are parents and we are doing our best.
thanks for the words! yup I can tell that she is on the right side of the slope.
Maybe she needs some time alone. I mean, I get on great with my parents, not to like a friends open relationship however but sometimes I prefer not to talk to them about things.
When times get real bad though, people eventually come together for a solid supported structure.
There IS and always will be a bond.:)
Give her time, she will realise in time how special your relationship is and ill be stronger than ever, the teenage years are hard on all and an extremely confusing time
She'll come round when she is older. Don't sweat it. Don't stop being mom. I'm sure you'll do a great job!
Teenage girls are tough on their moms. You have many years to look forward to. Hold on to that!
It's just hormones. Give her some space and time. She'll come crawling back to you. :)
Well, every teenager has issues with their parents, it's quite normal. My mom and I are complete opposites and have never seen eye to eye my entire life. Once she gets older I'm sure she'll grow out of it and you'll be best friends again. This stage is what most teens go through and I assure you, it's only temporary
Well almost killing yourself isn't that great either :O But you can try and find things you have in common with her without being too pushy (to her). It helps sometimes to find a common topic to talk about. Maybe some old memories of somewhere you two went together, or an old loved one or something that she wouldn't be able to turn into "Mom stop bothering me!" or "Oh my gosh mom just leave me alone already!" just try and talk to her more without trying too often.
I never thought it was a moms place to be friends with their children in the first place. So good for you, even though that is not what you wanted.
just be patient - teenagers go through phases like this - she will get over it & you will be her best friend again. Just give her a little space to be herself :)
Sorry to hear that - hope it works out for you :)
Been through that with my girls not so long ago - they seem to have come out the other side! :)
Some peoples moms are like mothers to them
Keep the channels of communication open with her no matter what she does. Listen to her about general, arbitrary stuff and ask her about her interests as in "how are things with xyz. She, like you, may be questioning her place in life, dealing with peer pressure, etc and wanting to establish her own mark in her own world. Allow her that space, and just stay in touch as a mother with love and kindness. Mothers hold their little ones while they scream.. and hold their older ones through quiet tims. I'm sure she has plenty of friends but she has only ONE mother. So be there as a mother, with gentle encouragement and support, and this too shall pass. Good luck
the tuning of children must start from childhood. you gave lot of leniency. you have not maintained certain social boundaries, present youth is drastically hypnotized/carried away by teen age. accept the change and give some tolerance for recovery.
i reckon be more parent than a friend because us teens don't like that