I have been with my husband for 17 yrs, my marriage is dying. He wants to start going out with out me?

Ask him out, tell him to get his lazy *** up, you want to shoot some pool. Or what ever you guys do, just do something new.

There maybe more here than meets the eye. You will receive many suggestions, but most will be a shot in the dark. Your best course of action is to seek professional help from a licensed psychologist or marriage and family counselor. Most marriages go through changes that appear threatening, but are quite normal. But don't let fear or denial keep you from seeking professional help. If you thought you might have cancer you wouldn't ask you friends about how to treat it. Nor should you try self-diagnosis or treatment for the most important relationship in your life. So ask your minister or priest or physician for a referral. Check the internet for licensed mental health professionals in your area. Check their resumes and ask for a free consultation. Good Luck!

You can not. He will never really apologize to you. It will be fake, at the same time the most men of his age will never give up their family for another woman.
Somehow if you love hi, or not make him see the consequences of his actions which means no more sex.

What John said. .. He might not be willing to give up a family for a womam. Give him his free space. it's 17 years right? maybe let him chill on his own for a while. He will miss you,... but if he does in fact intend to cheat. Then I am so sorry and you have my sympathies but my point is if he does,

PLEASE LEAVE HIM, because if you "forgive" him you are only allowing him to do it again.. and again.. because he'll know there is no consequences for his actions.

One way to make him fall in love with you again is to start spending time alone with each other.... romantic getaways and such.

My brother realized how much more he loves his wife when he started walking with her for 1 1/2 hours each night for exercise. This gave them time to talk about some of the serious stuff in their lives that they were dealing with. They re-connected and now he loves her more than ever. But there was a time before the evening walks when he wondered how he felt about her.

You're in a tough spot... your husband is backing away and it doesn't look as if he respects the marriage. I think he's afraid to leave you, afraid to be alone, until he can arrange to be with someone else.

I don't mean to mean to alarm you, or read too much into this... but it seems you have some real concerns, and our instincts in these matters are usually right on the money. In your heart, you know what is going on, we don't, we can only comment.

Have you spoken to him about this? Communication is key in a relationship. And TrgdyAnn has a great idea about ate night. You don't want him to "fall" in love with you, falling in suggests you can fall out. You want him to love and respect you. Be open and honest but most of all don't back down from your convictions. Ask him what he wants that he feels like you may not be giving him, ask him all the things that are going through your mind, but do it calmly, don't turn it into a confrontation or accusations. I wish you best of luck.

I think your gut instinct is warning you.....and it doesn't feel good, so you are asking us, so that hopefully we can say something, anything at all, that will make it better.

If it were only that easy.

Remember back, when you guys got together....what kinds of things did you do together? Try to rekindle those feelings, and activities...a lot of times, we kind of settle in, when we are married for a long time....and just going back to those special times in our lives, can make a huge difference. Send him notes, when he goes off to work....send him a sexy email....surprise him, by booking a motel room, just for the afternoon, and take him there.....there are so many things you can do....but, you need to make him feel special....

But, don't go driving yourself crazy, trying to cling to him....if he's going to cheat, it's not because of you....it's because he has allowed himself permission....he's decided to be selfish....and if he does that....LEAVE....you deserve way better.

This is a little out of left field and may not apply to you. But have you considered he may still be in love with the woman he married 17 years ago? I'm not talking about the odd wrinkle or bulge, but has your behaviour changed over that time? (I know mine has) So maybe try to rekindle the whole thing by looking at how you used to be and what you used to do and see if you can build some together time reliving those things. What do you have to lose?

You can't "make" him do anything. Sit down and talk to him about how you feel about his desire to go out on his own. Be prepared for the worst and make plans to start your own life. It sounds as if your marriage is already dead, you just haven't given a decent burial. Sorry sweets - but move on, it's not the end of the world and it won't hurt forever.

You need to do something now before it is to late. I was married for 20 years when my husband had an emotional affair with a co-worker. He kept teling me it wasnt about love. You see i had to do some soul searching and our life was in a rut. I left myself go physically, I complained alot,never was interested in sex. ( the list goes on)not that Iam blaming myself for what he did.( he wasnt perfect either but at the time he made me out to be the bad guy) he shouldnt have never gotten involved with the b@@ch to begin with. I have since lost 50 pounds and it not only changed my body but my looks. I have a whole different view on my marriage now and so does my husband and Iam a stronger person for it. We now make time for each other we try to have getaway weekends with out our boys. he comes home from work and we watch tv holding each other not to mention the great sex life we have now. I truely believe things happen for a reason whether good or bad. we have basically started our marriage over again and it is better than ever.