I have death obsession. Please read Im not here for attention. Just need someone to talk.
I have obsession to die. This isnt a joke, if anyone out there is reading this these obsessions are reacurring. I have thoughts of going to grave sites and just laying there. Sometimes i look at myself in the mirror and close my eyes just to see what i would look like dead. I really have this urge to die. My boyfriend told me if i killed myself he wouldn't have any respect for me. Im always sad and getting to a docor is hard because idk if i want to let go of these death feeling and negative feelings that lead me to want t o die. I want to die but i cant because i dont want to hurt any1 and idk if i took pills like asprin and overdosed what if i wake up mentally retarded and not dead. I just have weird dying thoughts. Ive drunk sleeping pill water hasnt killed me i am sad always have been for 2 years so far. Most of my life actually. Im confused im sensative times i feel like ripping myself apart. But the funny thing is i appear normal on the outside and everything. I also have anxiety of my little brothers dying my family. My boyfriend also i have anxiety that he is going to die. So im super clingy to him because i eant him close if i lost him idk what i would do
7 Answers to "I have death obsession. Please read Im not here for attention. Just need someone to talk."
Posted by Bethb2348 Oct 18th, 2012 at 1:08PM
Please try to find some professional help. I felt suicidal many years ago. When you're that depressed it seems like things won't ever get better but they do. Nothing ever stays the same, it is impossible. Your dying would just be a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
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Reply by Soups Oct 18th, 2012 at 1:14PM
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Reply by Bethb2348 Oct 18th, 2012 at 1:28PM
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Posted by lostinchicago Oct 18th, 2012 at 12:54PM
I don't know if anything I can say would be of interest to you but......
These are just some basic questions - and you can respond to me via email if you like
1) Did you think or do you have a belief in God or The lord? - If not, that's fine....If so, what is that belief for the deceased?
2) People who typically get to this point in life, find "death" as the only alternative.....however, I want you to know there are many others.....AND, if you think that even if those others would only be 'met" with the same unhappiness, you're not allowing yourself, or, those you love (or who love you) every opportunity to explore them.
3) You can always die......That would be finality of course, and, that can happen at anytime....even by your own hand....so, why now? I mean, if you can pull that trigger at anytime....Then why the rush?
4) Those "others" - like your boy friend.....Think for a moment, the day he learns of this....If you can Imagine YOU in that mirror.....Think about what that might look like to others......They, viewing you in a coffin....The pain that would cause those who do love you.....Clearly you have a heart, you mentioned it yourself that you don't want to hurt others......So, if you went through with this, you will never ever be forgotten....but when your name is mentioned........it will be that of pain......
They will pain over and over and over......
My Mother died when I was very young and I will Never, Ever......See her again.....Once that casket closes - its over but, the pain lives in the heart........A pain we all will leave others with when that time comes - but, why does it have to be you that's the cause of it......? Why now?
And lastly -
Maybe you don't believe...in the lord or, Heaven and hell....? But what if you're wrong?
In my belief system, there will be an eternity.......But which one? The one that enlightens you and you;re happy forever or........The one that will be forever and in pain as you are now....With no relief, no chance of ever feeling better forever......
You don't have to believe or answer....but you do have a choice and you can respond if you like to my email......
If not......That's fine, if so - We can continue this conversation
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Posted by TheRQCKSTARZz0ne Oct 18th, 2012 at 12:54PM
U really need to go to a psychiatric center to get your head straight
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Posted by 5thApprentice Oct 18th, 2012 at 12:46PM
Never been obsessed but I've had a curiosity in death like imagining my own death via accident/suicide/naturally, etc. Definitely talk to someone too. I read this short story about this undertaker who deals with death everyday, kinda made me enjoy life more. "Between life and death" by Su Shu-Yang. It's available online but if you cant find it I'll post the story up on EP for you. Hope you balance out. Nothing wrong with death but remember: it's final and you only get one shot at living.
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Posted by SpaceBrothers Oct 18th, 2012 at 12:43PM
Someone will probably do a better job than me but i;ll try!
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Posted by madhuratg Oct 18th, 2012 at 12:42PM
Dear one! we have right to live.. but not to die...find out your inner abilities and try to participate in socially useful activities if you don't want to live for yourself. One day your hopes will be fruitful and you will have further n further hopes to live for others when you can uplift the down trodden.
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Posted by SexyManLovingAraya Oct 18th, 2012 at 12:42PM
I think you need to go see a therapist. :(
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