renee5 renee5 26-30, F 15 Answers May 14, 2010

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Excuse me for asking, but do you ever wake up with a sore ***?

Personally if my wife started giving me a blow job or playing with my **** whilst I was asleep I definitely wouldn't be upset, but then I'm a man.

Him using you as a ***** receptacle when you're asleep just isn't acceptable, but is the sleeping in the spare room some form of punishment? Wouldn't his word that he won't do it again be enough?

Seriously, you need to ask yourself why he does it, and why you're so often zonked out on sleeping pills.

His behaviour is more opportunist than disturbing, but I'd hardly call it rape - more taking advantage of a comatose partner, who might be asleep just a little too often.

I'm guessing that if he'd woken you up first then you'd have been really keen to make mad passionate love to him - try that next time BEFORE you take the sleeping pills.

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i'm not sure what to say about that i have been awoken by my girl friend giving me a blow job and once awoke to her riding my mourning wood i did not feel violated but im a guy and we are happy any time we are getting some you should tell him how you feel

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I have no idea why you are making this such a big issue. Don't you want to have your husband have sex with you?!? There are so many sexless marriages out there. You should be happy that your husband wants to have sex with you. Rape is only the case when you say "no". According to the question, you didn't say "no", so it's not rape.

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I can actually relate. I am a woman who's husband does this too...The only how I know he is having sex with me is ; sometimes I wake up after he is finished, I'll wake up with something down there like a towel that he would have placed down there.. He claims that I act like I'm awake..I move like I am awake...but I tell him that I can't recall how we started.... He says that he is going to record me on day but how can he do that if he doesn't understand that I am sleeping as he says... (I think that part is bologna)..

I tell him that I feel uncomfortable and violated. Sometimes he claims he doesn't know that I am sleep. I'll be in the bathroom asking him questions...totally clueless and he acts like e can't believe I'm asking him....

We mostly that is how it is so easily to happen..I don't understand either how I could sleep through sex but it has only happened with my husband..

It seems to most occur when I am really sleep which is most of the time..I fall asleep before him all the time.

When I was with my ex..I was always able to wake up and love to be woke up by a sexual encounter but it is different with hubby.

Some background that maybe useful:

I used to be very sexual active in my teens

I am a victim of rape during a pregnancy

now that I am older and have had kids, my body feels different...

I am considered depressed and have prescription but do not take them.

My kids are sleepwalkers and talkers

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You have a problem. First, I think that I would feel really insulted. What he is saying is that you are a better lay when you are asleep. It is also a trust issue. If you sleep that sound and he is that much of a sneak, who knows if he is the only one having sex with you. The wife and I have both initiated sex play while the other was asleep. OH, what a way to wake up! The key is that we expect the other to wake up in a heightened and aroused state and continue our lovemaking awake. If what he is doing is rape, he is without doubt taking advantage of you. {Rape is only the case when you say "no". According to the question, you didn't say "no", so it's not rape.} This statement from wcuprof is a load of crap. Think about it this way….. If you were awake and he asked, you said no, and he did it anyway, its rape. If you are asleep he cannot ask you without waking you up, thus no permission equals rape. Since you have made you wishes known that you do not want him to have sex with you asleep this is a no answer therefore …RAPE.

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To those of you that say it is okay and not rape because she didn't say no, I have to ask whether you would see a woman at a party who is passed out and have sex with her? Even if it was your girlfriend or wife?

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This happens to me often and I am so confused, violated and repulsed by it....I am thinking seriously of divorcing.....It is so not right...

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My husband has sex with me while I'm sleeping almost every night I too, am a hard sleeper. I used to not might it, but ever since I had my twins 3 years ago, sex seriously hurts for me if I'm not stimulated. So now him having sex with me while I sleep hurts.

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He's sexually assaulting you. Sex without consent is sexual assault. You have every right to feel violated. If he's doing this with the knowledge that you don't want it, that's even worse. It's violent.

Call a rape crisis centre or seek out a counsellor to help you with your feelings. You may be feeling traumatized and start to experience the feelings and reactions of sexual assault, because you have been sexually assaulted. This can happen regardless of your husband's intent. It's not your fault. Take gentle care of yourself.

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I actually tried this once and my wife woke up. We were relatively young at the time and I remember her being upset and I failed to understand. It was weird but I now understand and would never try this again, I just think guys think with their dicks and just honestly do not realize the violation. I know I didn't, so go easy on the guy.

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Read the sexless marriage group. They'd be happy.

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we don't have a sexless marriage. so, i'm not sure how they would be happy or of any help with this problem. i'm very freaked out about this, though. i had suspected he was doing this, but he always denied it. i sleep very hard and often take sleeping pills to help me fall asleep. so, this is a pretty easy feat for him to do. but, this time i woke up with him in the middle of the act. i was horrified. so, i just lay there and tried to figure out what to do or say. he stopped at one point for half a minute and i thought he knew i was awake or felt bad about what he was doing. but, he told me today that he was just trying to put off his ****** from happening so quickly. i waited until he was done and then after he cleaned himself up and i felt more secure i asked him what he had just done. he tried to pretend like he had done nothing. that he woke up to get some water. when i told him that i was awake for atleast 4 minutes of it, he got quiet. he told me has done this before, but that has "only" penetrated 2 other times. i'm not sure how i should feel about this. i am very disturbed. he can give no good reason for the behaviour. i'm not sure i want him sleeping beside me anymore.

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