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But don't want to
LittleLion19 LittleLion19 18-21, F 10 Answers Dec 7, 2012 in Self Harm

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http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/<br />
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It's not a perverted picture or anything I promise. This is what I did.

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Thank you, that helps a lot. I tried drawing butterflies though and I killed 4 of them

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Luckily for you there's a lot of butterflies out there.

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Can I add you and then we talk?

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If it would help

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Nvm we can just talk here. I gave up on the butterflies because I killed 4

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What made you begin cutting in the first place?

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I don't really know. I started because I had no control over my life. I had already tried killing myself. My mom thought it was because of my friend and restricted all ways of contacting anybody

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Has the loss of outside contact helped or harmed you?

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That happened 2 years ago and I think it did more harm then good. I was put in foster care since then and have gone through 5 families. I started cutting because of the abuse too

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Where are you now?
(Not looking for specific locations, just foster care or permanent home wise)

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I'm living with my friends from school

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What do you feel when you cut yourself that causes you to do it again?

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I feel relief from everything around me from everything inside me that's saying its all my fault. I see my own blood and remember that I'm a person

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That's what I felt too. When I cut it provided me with a sense of control in my life. That's how a lot of eating disorders start as well

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I just want something I can control and I know what you mean the eating I can control too. Sometimes I don't eat just so I won't cut.

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I know what you mean. I have PTSD caused by sexual abuse as a child and coming to terms with it and my cutting was difficult, but I think anybody can do it if they are determined.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm

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That's the most help I've gotten in one place

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I'm happy to help. I'm sorry you're not getting the help you need to stay healthy. Have you tried talking to somebody?

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Thank you

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Yeah I have

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17 More Responses

Go grab a banana and ATTACK THE **** OUT OF IT! Leave the cat alone.

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if you still need someone or do in the future add me and we will chat.......I am somewhat experienced with the issue of anxiety and doing various things to find ppl help to over come it

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why dont you answer, I want to help

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Ill add you then, Know many cutters.

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Have you cut so far?

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When you cut...what satisfaction does it bring you...I've always wondered why people do this...

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It makes this suffocating feeling in my chest go away. And the negative self talk stop

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So another pain...takes away the pain? Does seeing the blood bring you satisfaction?

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Yes

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It means I'm worth enough to bleed and that I'm alive

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1 More Response

i understand it is the tolerance, the feelings associated with, the coping, the struggle, the reasons, but personally i found the ink more satisfying for a psychological ride, the permanence, the struggle, the need for change, the need for it to go, the coping with it, the question of why i did it, just all of that, then trying to define them and give some kind of psychological sense to them. self injurious behaviors, such an array of confusion they come from.. just saying.

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