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I realized that some people get cut off by their families but I can't be the only one that has cut their family of origin out of their life.
soup4one soup4one 36-40, F 17 Answers May 2, 2012

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because some people have great parents and they just think everyone does, i haven't talked to my dad in forever either, it's not something to be ashamed of

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It isn’t really possible to answer this question fairly without knowing the exact reason(s) why you haven’t spoken to your parents in three years. The sad reality is that you could be entirely justified in your decision: Some people cannot (and should not) have relationships with their parents. We are conditioned as children to show complete subservience and deference to our parents, regardless of how negatively their actions impact us. Unfortunately, this is why abused children grow into adults who have major issues!



I read this online once, and it’s very succinct: “Commitment to family isn’t demonstrated by blindly opening your emotions, health, and time to individuals whose commitment to you was genetically determined. The beauty of family begins only when people make a choice to honor each other’s physical and emotional health.” If your family experience was toxic to you physically or emotionally, and your attempts to improve the negative relationships were met with opposition over and over again, then you are better off to stay removed from the whole thing, no question about it. You have doubtlessly had to work very hard to get to where you are in life, so don’t allow anyone or anything to tear down what you have built.

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i find it extremely difficult to get along with my dad, he seems to act like a ***** around me for no reason, i cant say anything to him without him somehow turning it into an argument, i dont hate him but im sick of him acting this way, i get along much easier with my mom, i can tell her anything, shes more understanding cos shes been thru most of what im going thru atm. i have issues with every family member sometimes to the point of disowning them and changing my identity, i haven't actually done this btw, tho i dont have anything to do with one of my maternal aunts, due to the fact she never turned up to my maternal grandmother's funeral and dosent give a **** about anybody

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You did good. Why live with/around someone that makes you unhappy? You have your OWN life to live and it's not to make other people happy that don't like you.

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I cut my mother off last year. We simply have nothing in common. Nothing. When I tried to speak with her I was met with silence. So I figured OK. That's it. Now I've moved on and really don't care to ever speak to her again. It doesn't bother me. She is dead and gone in my mind. Sometimes you have to do things that make you happy.

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Because "people" will never understand how you feel. What you feel is what you have. Don't turn it into anything else. Once you know how you truly feel and come in terms with it, it'll be the only way to truly set yourself free. Just know that you're not alone, it's part of being human, we just got to take the cards that were dealt to us. Hate isn't our choice. Because if it was, then you wouldn't be hating your dad.

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I cut my family out but never my mother or father. Don't matter what your parents do you should find it in your heart to forgive them. It's only bad because they brought you into this world and it's sad to hate them or cut them off. I might not be happy with their division or them raising me but those two people gaved you life. They mess up and they are only but human.

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You know they are alive and well but how would you feel if they were dead and no longer on this earth.

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they don't know your circumstances.

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Exactly.

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I think its sad

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And see I thought it was sad before. Unhealthy and toxic relationships will kill you. I want to live.

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Because sometimes people have different opinions from you.

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Ok but I think it's rude and presumptuous of them.

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It's not rude to have a different opinion. It's just rude to mind other people's business.

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Yes!! Exactly.

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