I help run a small buisness with my husband, why does he always yell and call me names?
I had a part time job but when my husbands company started to grow I quit my job so I could help him and do most if not all of the office/paperwork stuff so that he didn't actually pay anybody...If something small goes wrong, or if I say the wrong thing he explodes and starts yelling that I'm lazy, worthless and if I dont "Man UP" I can just go find a real job...I always end up crying (I'm very sensitive)...He tells me that I am a drama queen and to stop being such a baby....I try really hard to always do my best, but in the end it just seems its never enouph.....this only happens when I 'complain' about being physically tired or that my back and shoulders hurt, or when I try to take time off to see my family that lives in another state or see some of my friends....I'm just not sure what to do
I forgot to mention that this started shortley after his father died this year......
Thank you for all your answers. I was very surprised and touched that you were willing to give advice to me. Its a lot to take in and I really want to save my marriage, I want the man that I fell in love with back.
18 Answers to "I help run a small buisness with my husband, why does he always yell and call me names?"
Posted by KuyaLeo Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:28PM
Business is hard. It can make or break a relationship. If you really feel this way, mayb it's that very dark time of your life where you ask yourself, is this business worth going through or is it time to break it off and find another form of income
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Posted by PrincessTwisted Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:28PM
Go and fund a real job, let him get a real employee, who certainly would not him treat them like that.
And talk to a lawyer and file for divorce.
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Posted by AlDemone Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:27PM
Bluegirl28!!!! The business is both of yours. He is no more your boss than you are his. Next time smack him upside the head when he's with clients. I doubt he'll do it again.
Unless of course that you really are a worthless, lazy, drama queen.
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Posted by AlexaW Nov 13th, 2012 at 4:28PM
Have you ever heard of acting out. That is what kids do. When kids are out at the restaurant or store they act bad because they know that you won't spank them. I know he wouldn't treat they client like he does you. He does it because he can let his anger out on the people that pay him and he knows you will nothing. You should start looking for a job and then put an ad in the paper to replace you.
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Posted by LadyIndiscretion Nov 13th, 2012 at 4:24PM
My husband was constantly blowing up at me too, but he never called me names, if he had then I would have been gone long ago. We have been separated for a year now after being together 13 years. I'd left him before for just a few weeks 3 times so he probably thought that this was just one of those times. After 4 months of trying to get me to return to him and speaking to me sternly. He calmed down and didnt appear to be bitter anymore but still ranged from not caring about being with me to being disturbingly obsessed. I kept telling him I wasnt returning to him, but he was insistent on knowing how to change my mind and insisted that I constantly "think about it". I was tired of thinking about it. I thought "too little, too late." And "love is irrelevant" because it hurt too much. I made a decision on how I would allow someone to treat me and I left. I don't have a boyfriend, haven't slept with anyone else. I'm happier on my own with 5 kids. My husband hasn't given up, but he seems to have realized that he needed to make some changes. We have much better communication. I've been saying no to him for a year of his begging, but the past 2 weeks I've said yes. He made positive changes and neither of us has been with anyone else. He had to admit he was wrong, apologize, and show me a change. He's done all that. Still, there's no rush. I'm not moving back to him, he will have to follow me if he's serious which will likely happen next year.
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Posted by axel4550 Nov 13th, 2012 at 4:21PM
ok, never mix family and business together, it will be like 2 dicks and no chick,you will find yourself in serious ****
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Posted by ROMVS Nov 13th, 2012 at 4:05PM
Talk to him and explain how you feel with how he is acting. If he is not a man enough not to put you down when you are already trying to help him, get a job elsewhere and you might want to find an exit strategy out of your marriage. Marriage is supposed to be supportive, kind and protective, not something to tear you down, bring you down and make you want to shoot your partner, lol.
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Posted by pegasuss Nov 13th, 2012 at 4:04PM
He's angry and puts himself under pressure. He would say things to you he wouldn't to other employees as you are married. Stop working for him. You can't help him.
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Posted by Tgilly Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:37PM
because he's a disrespectful bastard. There are a number of things you could do..get yourself another job, cook him a lovely meal then tell him afterwards it was made with dog food and if he ever speaks to you that way again, you'll have someone "see to him". If that fails, you need to decide if this is how you want to spend your life.
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Posted by JustaPirate1 Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:33PM
Sad to hear that. It sounds to me like there are more issues your husband has then just your work duties. Your marriage sounds like it is not sailing on the calmest waters. I think you need to sit him down and talk Maturely If Possible and get things on a better level otherwise things do not look good at all for you not to far down the road. You can't change the wind currents but you can alter your sails ! something needs to be adjusted soon or I fear a perfect storm ahead for you both.
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Posted by Frakedes Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:32PM
If that is your real age then you have your whole life ahead take a measured ,sensible decision that helps both of you if not, and he is reluctant to listen to you and more concerned about his growing business then i think you should decide to do what your heart says.
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Posted by NigelDoes Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:30PM
Don't take this the wrong way but your husband doesn't sound like a terribly nice guy.
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Posted by TheDaken Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:29PM
It sounds like he has anger issues... I wouldnt say hes an *** because you never said he acts that way all the time but he acts like that at work mainly because he reacts negatively to pressure..... he needs to get over that.
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Posted by tonyt53 Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:29PM
That is a tough one. I know two marriages that have ended because of similar situations. There is an old saying "you never know someone until you live with them". I think that you are living with him in a completely different setting than your home.
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Posted by misery22 Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:29PM
sounds like he is a controlling jerk.... you should put your foot down. i personally would find another job and leave him high and dry for a few months
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Posted by Kayakker Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:28PM
Leave the job... before he decides to talk you like this in your own home... if he does get rid of him... he will always be like it
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Posted by stronggeorge Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:28PM
Have you considered exercise classes or other activities that you will enjoy so that you can handle the job? If you can't, maybe you should quit so that your marriage will not be the first to quit.
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Posted by Wanderartist Nov 13th, 2012 at 3:26PM
Primarily because he is an *******.
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