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I just posted a question that someone just completely misunderstood?

Ask a kid I had been sexually abused by my Uncle. When it was happening I knew it was wrong. It felt uncomfortable but I couldn't bring myself to escape. As an adult when I am in situations that I feel uncomfortable in I still can't escape even though they feel wrong. All I wanted to know is: 1) what quality is this? and 2) people tell me they sympathize with me as a kid but as an adult I have no excuse. Why?

EP took this question off the board because the guy thought I was sympathizing with abusers!
TO ALL WHO RESPONDED- YOU ARE SIMPLY AMAZING- YOU CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Posted 4 months ago
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Yes, as an adult, you have to make the change. It is really difficult, because you were under horrible control and oppression.
Each personal conditions are too complicated for other people to give advice or to judge subjectively. You should seek assistance from social institutions, which are there to help and to support you.
Posted 4 months ago

Other 5 Answers to I just posted a question that someone just completely misunderstood?


Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 6:15AM
It is no wonder you couldn't bring yourself to escape when you were younger because when we are children we feel completely powerless over adults. Now I am 20 and I also struggle with not being able to set boundaries with people that make me feel comfortable. It is not your fault that you have not learnt to set boundaries- it seems that nobody taught you. However it is your responsibility to now learn. You will probably need the help of a counsellor to do it.

I only recently realised I had not learnt to set boundaries. In fact it is to due with my low self esteem that I don't feel able to say no to people or let them down. When I went to a meeting the other day I was not able to tell this guy that I met there that I didn't want him to give me a lift there every week and that I didn't want a lift back home from him or to chat to him afterwards. He was a lot older than me and he made me feel uncomfortable by hugging me when I got out his car and squeezing my hands. I felt a deep sense of shame that I couldn't make him stop. This why I know that I need to learn to have the confidence to respect my own boundaries.
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Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 6:14AM
Don't worry, the person will either understand your point, or forget all about it.....
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Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 9:11AM
I don't no if this helps or not ... This is the Way I see it..

If you had a situation say as a kid were you were tramatised, the way you would have learned to deal with that becomes you coaping skill, when ever you feel you are in a similar situation, you ortomaticly refeer to your coaping skill. That is not to say that the coaping skill you developed is the best way to deal with the problem. but it is the way you learned, You just need to learn coaping skills that suit you better. Some people turn to a bottle , some turn to drugs. some turn to a good counciller..
Does this help any ?
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Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 7:54AM
I sympathize with you as an adult and a child both. However, as an adult, you should have learned how to say no to something you dont want. Easier said than done, right? I guess this depends on how far you are willing to let it go.

At the least I would say you probably still have PTSD.

I always try to self diagnose also, but maybe the best thing for you would be to go ahead and see a doctor.
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Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 1:48PM
Don't worry about the morons that EP seems to be full of lately. If you are not ready to speak to a counselor, at least try to find some legit sites on-line or some books. SARK is an excellent and enjoyable resource. SARK stands for: Susan Arial Rainbow Kennedy, and she has many books and such that are written in a very enjoyable and colorful way. She also has a website. I recommend her for ALL women, but SARK also suffered abuse as a child, so you might find her stuff helpful. I like her writing tone because you don't feel like you are reading a "self-help" book. Good luck!
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