I think in a way you do still love him. I never forgot my first love either. Whenever I see them my heart still speeds up uncontrollabally. It's not a bad thing, it's normal. There will always be bits and pieces left behind from others that you once loved, and those pieces simply make you the way you are. Just remember that your husband is the one who is here now and he is the one loves you back. You don't need to forget your first, but pay more attention to your love right now. Remind yourself why you love him and spend some good old quality time with him. He'll appreciate it more than anyone else could.
One never forgets their first love. You'll go to your grave questioning why he chose someone else. You just have to remember to be careful what you wish for - it may not always be what is best for you long term. I dreamed about my first and only love of 50 years ago...that we did get back together after a 50th h.s. reunion and were estatic. The years and experience matured and mellowed both of us (plus we didn't age much in the dream!) I've been free of him for many years, so the dream surprised me - also made me feel good! Crazy!
you sound like you are living on regrets let it go and get on with your own life. How can you be fully committed if you are still thinking like this about your ex. You need to move on and admit that you have lost him then perhaps you can move on and be happy with what you now have.
i know it sounds wierd but u do need to cofront him.you feel still in love cuz he was ur first.i still love my first alot.its best to tell them.i know u wnt him bak everyday.i know u do.i see myself wit mine everyday.u thought it was cute he was a first love and a first boyfriend.life is full of soething and this shouldnt be it.u need to free urself.u need to realize it u love him and at least confront hi see if he is the same.