This is going to sound harsh but I'm just trying to save you even more heartache....Leave him alone. Even if he breaks up with his gf and gets with you...whats stopping him from contacting another girl? Obviously he doesnt respect a relationship. You deserve better.

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I know. My brain says so, my heart says otherwise.
ugh, I wish I know how to just disappear from this mess

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Find a hotter guy =)

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I'm going to be brutally honest with you. You keep saying you know you need to stop but you don't know how. You're lying to yourself. You know how to stop, but you haven't decided you WANT to stop. No post on an internet forum is going to make that shift happen for you. I can tell you from having been in that situation before that there is only pain and suffering to be found. It took me two years to get over falling in love with an emotionally unavailable man, and I don't want that to happen to you.<br />
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If you do continue and something develops, you'll likely remain the girl on the side, the one he uses to stroke his ego when the attention from his gf isn't enough. And you might not even be the only "backup girl" at that. Who knows how many other women he's playing the same game with. Ask yourself: do you deserve crumbs or the whole loaf of bread? <br />
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If you want to stop it, you have to set boundaries. You can stop yourself from falling further for him by ending communication with him and thinking about his faults. When you start falling for someone, you get blind and only see the good in them. But this guy isn't perfect. If you're having trouble thinking of faults in this guy, start with the fact that he's spending so much time taking to another woman when he's in a committed relationship. <br />
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The thing is, you know it's wrong, you can feel it in your gut. You're playing with fire. So don't indulge yourself any longer! Because in the end the pain that his gf and/or you will go through because of this budding affair will be just as much your fault as his. Hope you recognize that I say all this out of love and not to judge. I've been there, don't go there.

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Put yourself in the "longtime girlfriends " place and stop it now. Don't start believing the negative things he might be telling you about her. The fact that he is encouraging you means he is a selfish pig. Wake up and save yourself the pain.

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the thing is he adores her...not 1 single bad thing abt her
yah. I'm the bad person here...
thanks!

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Stop it before you wound up with him and you're the longterm gf he's cheating on and treating as if she doesn't matter.

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I have nothing here. we need a bigger boat. I am in the same sitchuation but its a girl!

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Stop it right away, or you'll end up getting hurt.

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yah. i just wish i know how

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Get another interest elsewhere, and fast.

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Wait.

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