Cut the bullsh**t, if you don't want to cheat don't. Stop ******* around and tell the man to step up his game. Get some toys, rent a movie, get inventive, something. Bottom line, communicate, tell the man to take charge of that p***y. If you love him and he loves you then remember the vows you made at first still apply today. This is the better or worse part stupid. Its getting worse do something about it. There are so many options for good sex its not even an issue anymore. You have to communicate though. Think about it, did you really make a committment to a man who you thought couldn't please you? Are you that ******* stupid. We all have the same equipment, we just have to use it correctly, tell the man let him be the man and stop looking for excuses.
@ what point did you realize this before or after the marriage? You have plenty of options: 1. Tell her husband, maybe the both of you can discuss new positions, toys, and/or role playing. 2. Touch/Tease yourself before the act w/ him. 3. Cheat, but only if the act will result in him NEVER finding out.. be a **** for a few hours and keep silent.
I think you have someone in mind and looking for people here to validate you. I feel sorry for YOUR husband.
Dear Hiroshima, I feel for you. Fact is that all the toys and ************ will never give you the emotional and sexual satisfaction your partner can. Give him a clear chance to step up the game. Explain that this is about more than sex. It is about being able to gain this emotional and sexual satisfaction from him. You can do only so much yourself, the rest has to come from him. If he does not understand that, lacks the empathy, lacks the interest, if he refuses to participate in giving you pleasure, if he wont acknowledge that you have sexual and emotional needs then that is serious grounds for ending the relationship in my eyes. Note: I said end it, not cheat on him. I feel for you because i am in the same boat. My partner wont participate, he wont change his ways. There is no stimulation for me at any stage. While he demands I give him oral several times a day he will never return the favour or stimulate me manually. He does not like my breasts, as breasts in general dont do anything for him so he says. he wont touch them. Instead he demands that I ********** beforehand, throughout and afterwards. I love him to death and he has never even once tried to give me an ****** or at least tried to participate. I feel emotionally and sexually frustrated as he leaves me no options in bed other than to satisfy him alone then lie there and ********** on my own. I have talked, instructed, cried, rowed, begged and pleaded. Nothing. I have made up my mind to leave him on the grounds he will not try to pleasure me and ignores how I feel, what my needs are. After a while you cannot go on asking any more when it is obvious he will never give you what you rightfully need and ask for. My guy even goes so far as to suggest I have sex with other females just so he has not got to make an effort. His standard replies are: I cant do it for you, its not pleasurable for me, I am not interested, I havent got the answers, go and have sex with a woman, she will go down on you. All this refusal from his side to pleasure me undermines my self-confidence, my self-esteem. It breaks my heart. Its about a lot more than just sex. If you feel like me, that he destroys you emotionally and undermines you sexually, then leave him. x
I am in the same boat as you. But instead of my hubby saying he can't satisfy me, he said that I am putting a lot of pressure on him all because I decide to tell him that I need more participation from him than laying there or in just one position. He's blaming it on me. I can't speak to him about this as he will get defensive, he refused counseling. I cannot leave him for I have a baby girl that i love and believe it or not, my husband is the perfect best friend I can ask for and I wont leave him. I am not looking for love, or a crush, or an emotional high, i dont need those for he fufils them. But I need sex, wild hard sex everynow and then and that's where he is lacking. I know I am disrespecting him if I were to find sex someplace else as he have expressed absolute rejection on the idea that I sleep with someone else. but he refuses to put in any effort! nor does he allow me to buy a *****. What do I do please help.
A vibrat0r and a decent size dild0 should do the trick.
Learn to satisfy YOURSELF and then show him what you like...Just doing this will turn him on like CrAzY (=)
pay for it then you wont be cheating.
I live in Pennsylvania.<br />
I won't tell a soul.
I completely understand. I am not married but I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I love him very much. I have tried many times to discuss what we could do to change or spice up our sex life. I have tried sexy lingerie, toys, films and books. He isn't interested in any of it. Foreplay is non existent in our sex life. As much as I keep trying to make it fun, interesting and enjoyable for both of us. Everything else about our life together is perfect. And I do not want to cheat on him because that's disrespectful and selfish. However, I'm at my wits end. While, sex isn't everything in a relationship, it is important. Also to the people who suggest a vibrator, it's not a substitute for mutually pleasing sex with a partner. Hiroshima I don't know what the answer is for you as there are many factors that contribute to the success of a relationship but you are not alone in feeling the way you do. All the best!
my penis is just under three inches erect. i was wondering if females on the site would post their honest opinions on it her as i recently had an humiliating experience with it. what would your honest reaction be if u were about to sleep with a guy who had a penis like mine?
I disagree with a lot of the people here. First ************ and toys aren't as good as a real ****, they are just a substitute when you can't get any. If you do just want an orga*m then yes maybe you could get one that way. Second I can understand why you would marry someone who doesn't satisfy you. If you really love someone you are going to overlook their shortcoming and think to yourself 'I'll get used to it'. I do however agree that first you need to talk to your husban, try everything you can to make it better. If he still can not do it for you or is unwilling to do so (as my husban is) then maybe speak to him about having an open relationship. If you don't want to cheat then don't as you'll feel so guilty about it that it will consume you and make the experience bad anyway.
Interesting comments… It appears that people are telling you what they think will work for them or what excites them without regard for you being allowed to be you.<br />
When we are younger, sex of any kind is fantastic and no one needs to work at anything harder than getting your clothes off. As we have more and more sexual experiences and as we see that same naked body day after day, sexual arousal becomes more and more difficult. If the questions degenerate to who’s going to be on top tonight, then the ship is sinking fast. The quickest, and often the most tempting and easiest answer, is to have an affair.<br />
Wow! I get a new partner, I get new discoveries, I get to see a different set of breasts, a different penis, or whatever. S/he may go faster or slower or get turned on by different things! S/he may touch me differently – harder or softer, tickling or rougher. It’s risky with the element of getting caught – the secrecy and clandestine nature of an affair can be enough of a temptation for anyone to build more excitement. And who hasn’t been excited by getting a new car, much less a new lover! Bring on the *******!<br />
So to tell someone to stop being tempted is to tell them to stop being human and to stop wanting new and wonderfully rewarding experiences. The challenge is to find ways to gain the same types of new exciting and rewarding experiences with the same partner we committed to in marriage. The problem is that it takes work and it’s the work of both people, not just one. One can start it and make a difference, admittedly, but go for two and its half as hard.<br />
Once you accept that it requires research, planning, and work, you can start down a fun path of new discovery. Start talking. Do you have fantasies that he could fulfill, but hasn’t? Does he? Can you have an open mind and try new things? New positions? Power Exchange? How about sexy games? ***** polker? Loser has to clean house naked? Back rubs? Foot rubs? And on and on. Buy a book, like “101 Sexual Turn-ons” or something and give it to each other. Each rate each adventure on a -5 to 5 scale (-5 hate it, 0 neutral, 5 love it), then surprise each other with something. Lose some weight? Lift weights to tone up? Do aerobics to build stamina. Buy the book “The multi-orgasmic man” and try it. (Titles are approximate, I don’t remember them – my wife bought this book for me, and it changed my life! I’m happier and so is she!) Make love outside! Go skinny dipping! The list endless and the more adventurous you’re willing to be, the more new places you two have to go!<br />
The bottom line is that you need to invest in each other, to rekindle the intimacy, the love, the caring, and the excitement and joy. If you went to Colorado and picked a hiking trail into the mountains, you’d likely be excited about the next beautiful view or the next surprise around the bend. It is a waterfall? A panoramic vista? Did you see that bear cub! What’s next! Your sexual lives can be the same way. Talk. Talk a lot. Discover each other all over again. Dig into those suppressed fantasies regardless of how risky they feel. Develop a deep level of trust so that it is safe to do so, and then move ahead at your own pace. <br />
Best of luck and please let us know how it goes, -E
Buy some toys,have fun with yourself,explore your body,you don't need to cheat,satisfy your p****y...
I agree with myway5, sound advice and one I would follow. You need to stop at I love my husband.. talk to him and tell him what turns you on.. what you want - create some fantasy.. something that you can both do together and give him a chance to step up on the game...<br />
As painful as it was to tell my boyfriend what I wanted him to do to me.. it worked out well.. its all to do with trust.. yeah embarrassing and is he gonna think I am a freak - but as it turns out.. it was great.. <br />
Spontaneity is the key, I love initiating sex and I also love him initiating it as well... but the thing is allowing each other to feel comfortable enough to be in control of the situation..<br />
You dont want to cheat - simple DONT!.. buy sex toys and have your husband use it on you.. or strap ons..<br />
I dont know but you do yourself and your husband a disservice by going outside of your marriage
God gave u hands to play with ur self so dont cheat rub ur **** girl.
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well I can top that, my husband knows he hasn't 'assisted me' to ****** in over 22 months and he doesn't care. His statement is that he works a stressful job and my job is nothing (i'm a police dispatcher) and then his main thing is oh i'm soooooo sexy that he just can't hold it......<br />
it wasn't like this in the beginning of our marriage, it use to be fun and wild.. but now he gets off and i wait until he leaves for work and please myself.... selfishness comes to mind all the time.