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My boyfriend and I have a long history together we begin our relationship in 2005. However, in 2012 he had a baby with another woman and I have forgiven him recently. Yet, after 9 years loving this same man I don't want marriage with him. We are trying to rekindle our love but he still talks about marriage and I no longer desire that with him. I am afraid that I will deal with drama from his baby mother who don't care for me and I don't care for her either. Is it possible for you to love someone with all your heart but not want to marry them or have a family of your own with them? I can say we really do love one another but I don't want to start a family with him anymore. Has anyone ever tried to work it out and stay after something like this occuring? I don't want to make a mistake by being with someone I don't love as much as I love him. Yet, I dont want to make any big decision that can harm my future. I don't regret ever loving him but I don't know if this is what I want.
singulargirl singulargirl 22-25, F 6 Answers Feb 21 in Dating & Relationships

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You can love someone and not want to make a future with them. You started with him very young. Your perspective has matured. Obviously you have great capacity to love, so there is likely to be another one in your future - one you do want a future with, or stay with this one and see what happens. Things can change.

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run don't walk

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Listen to your gut here. You love this man but don't want a future with him. Be strong and stop stringing him along. Tell him that you've both grown up and changed and that you don't want the same things anymore. It's so easy to stay in a relationship out of habit or nostalgia, but then you are always living in the past. Leaving may be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but nothing worth doing is easy. I wish you the best of luck in finding the perfect person for you.

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I don't know what I'd do, if you really love him, make your choice, if you can't get over the fact he had a baby with another woman, let him go. I think either way maybe you should tell him this so he's not in the dark

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Is the baby mama drama the only reason you don't want to marry him?

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Of course!

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Then you can get around that. You don't have to deal with her at all.

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