So I'm taking a guy whose not my boyfriend to prom. My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 8 months and have never fought about anything. We really have a great relationship, although we live an hour away from each other. However, I knew that he didn't want to go to prom at all, and I recently found out that a mutual friend of ours had to convince him to come. I never actually asked him to prom, though we did talk about going together briefly. So I was talking to a friend of mine who wasn't sure if he was going because he was having girl problems, and so we toyed around with idea of going together. We are just friends, and going with him would save me the hundred dollars I would have to pay to take my boyfriend. When I told my boyfriend I was thinking of going with someone else he flipped out, yet he still acknowledges that he never wanted to go? He says he just wanted to be the guy there with me. Was I really wrong to do what I did? How do I calm him down?
j0viab0bi j0viab0bi 18-21 11 Answers Apr 3, 2011

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You should have asked your boyfriend first. All of it. That you are concerned about the cost and the fact that he doesn't want to go. That you have a friend that might want to's quite possible that you could have worked something out before you discussed it at length with the other guy. Your loyalty is to your boyfriend.

The way to calm him down is to undo what you did....if you can do it without hurting the other fellow. Find out if your boyfriend actually wants to go. If you need help with the money, ask him to help. If he doesn't really want to go, but doesn't want you going with someone else, then you have a right to choose not to miss your prom and to go with the other guy, as long as you know that you and he are only friends. In that case, your boyfriend will have to deal with his own insecurities. It really would have been best to talk to the BF first....but now all you can do is sit him down and say "Hey, I want to go to my prom. Is is going to be with you?" And do it now, before it's too late for the other fellow to make his own arrangments.

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Hmmmmm....methinks a complete lack of communication on BOTH parties....

Ok, so i'm a Brit and I don't really know about Proms and such stuff, but I do kinda gather that they're of importance....So I kinda "get" what it would mean to you...

Your fella? Ok....He said that he didn't really want to go but it sounds like he'd go just to make you happy....that's what relationships are about; give and take.....although it's not really his thing he's willing to go with you so that you have someone to go with and try to make a nice night of it....

Asking another guy to go with you is just inviting trouble really, no matter how "just friends" you are. It's kinda like competition....and, not only that, he's probably gonna feel 'excluded' from it all.....just like when your friends go out on a night out without you, and they talk about it does that feel? Kinda like a 'you should have been there' moment and it can feel quite uncomfortable....

Relationships are funny things....I'd tell him that if it's THAT IMPORTANT to him then HE should take you......either that or you'll go with your friend.... But just think that he's suffering from jealousy and that's down to feelings for you, ok? He must love you....

Whatever! Enjoy the Prom anyways....

Samantha xx

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I'd leave you

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Ok, so here's the scoop, prom queen: Sometimes, when you're in a relationship, you don't get to have things your way. Sometimes, in order to keep the peace, you have to be willing to give up some 'having fun.'

Going to Prom this year with someone other than your boyfriend is a case in point.

1.) Do not assume your boyfriend is going to be tolerant of your presumptuous behavior in asking someone else unless you've consulted him first. No one likes being taken for granted. Which is what you did.

2.) Yes, you'd probably have more fun with your friend, but it is a boyfriend's role to escort his girl to the Prom. Do not deny your boyfriend his chance to fulfill this function without full disclosure and permission, and ask for clarification several times along the way, just to be sure he's not saying it just to be nice. Let him know that you'd PREFER to go with him - even if it's not true - and that this friend is a last resort date.

3.) If you wanna make major browny points with your bf, don't go to prom. stay home and webcam with him, or talk on the phone while watching the same movie, or something like that. Let him know that you'd rather stay home and do something sucky with him than go to prom with someone else.

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tell him if he is going to "flip out" about it, he needs to step up, pay for the tickets, etc.... and take you to the prom! otherwise he needs to shut up and deal w it if he doesnt want to go, just my opinion! have fun at the prom its yours!

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Looks like he is confused. So either clear out all of the confusions or dump him, because this is the indication that you are going to start with our fights.

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your boyfriend might be mad but its your night. Your time to have fun and dance. and i understand why he wouldn't want to go but he needs to suck it up and be a great guy for you. to treat you to the thing that you want to do, because in the future you are going to have to sit through something with him so he needs to step it up. Go and have fun with your friend. to calm him down is later's problem. have your fun night then tell him how you feel when its over

No Regrets

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Haha. That advice will leave anyone single.

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