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my boyfriend been deployed for 7 months. all this time he told me he loves me and cant wait to see me again and want a family and wants to get seriouse. now he is back since 11 days and he only tried to see me once. i didnt ask him why but he said had to find a storage for his stuff, taking his german driver license test, buying stuff and what so ever. since a couple of days the messages just got plain like no more i miss you. cant wait to see u or i love you.. i dont konw what to do nomore.. all the messages in afghanistan ... was it just because he was bored and was looking for something good to come home.. he doesnt even bother to ask me when he can see me again or anything... please i need some help
sweetangie81 sweetangie81 31-35, F 11 Answers Apr 3 in Military

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Go and see him, talk to him sometimes it's hard being back

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my mistake was probably already stressing him out and ask him when we can see eacht other . i know he has a 4 day this week starting tomorrow but no trying to ask to meet up or nothing. he was never the type of guy to go out party and drinking.. so i dont think he is gonna do something with his friends.. but i dont know whats going on. like i said i dont wanna stress him out and keep asking when we can see each other..

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Well if it's been 11 days I would say ask to meet, most guys want to see their girls when they get back.

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i thought so to he wanted to .. he came over one time although he had class in the morning. but why not keep trying to see me. i dont know.... i know for sure also that he didnt even get to see his daughter yet that is living in the same town like me... its just weird i asked him 2 days ago when we can see again and he said friday ( meaning tomorrow ) but so far nothing from him.......

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Well I guess you'd have to ask him what's going on. Or talk to his family or other friends if he is being weird in general or just to you. It could well be him having a reintegration cultural shock or even ptsd.

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I was in the Army in the Vietnam War. Among the dozens of soldiers, whom I met while deployed; I can think of only two who did not repeatedly sleep with prostitutes while in Vietnam. Prostitutes are wherever soldiers are away from their wives. Any woman who thinks her deployed man will remain faithful is a fool.

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its not.make sure the man u give it too is worth having it.

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7 months is a long time to be away from someone. i'm sure he has a TON of stuff to do, give it time and ask him about it.

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Military can change people a lot. I don't think he was just sending those text messages from Afghanistan just because he was bored. Did you try to understand what happened there? Maybe he is terrified or frightened. Do not despair. Stay strong my friend! And don't try to make him first show you that he wants you. You can simply ask him how he is after what he did there, in Afghanistan. Love him more 'cause I think this is one of the moments he needs it most. Good luck!

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i dont know why i should show him even more that i love him when he puts me off like that and ignores me and not wanting to see me. i supported him all the way while he was down there. ...

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I know its hard. I have been in the same situation once...I loved him even more and I discovered that he was really affected by the war he had fought into. He needed a psychiatrist's help, but managed to get over.

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so what should i do. just wait till he comes back to me ?

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Not really? Talk to him. Be sure you get things straight and clearly understood. Show him how beautiful you are and remind him all the moments you've spent together that worth being re-lived.

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I think you should ask him

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i just dont wanna stress him out and pull more away from me

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