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So, my mother and father have been separated for only a little while now, and I'm still adjusting to it. My father is not in my life anymore at all (for personal reasons). However, nearly 3 or 4 months after the divorce began, (its been a long process), my mother jumped into another relationship and constantly brings her new boyfriend over the house. He's here nearly every day. It's almost like, she's replacing my father, and that doesn't feel right with me. Now, she complains that I don't spend enough time with her and I don't talk to her about things, and that I tell my grandmother (her mother) more than I tell her. This is true, but now she wont speak to me whatsoever because of this. She calls me selfish and stupid constantly now. What did I do wrong & how can I fix this? /:
klovepink klovepink 16-17, F 11 Answers Apr 23, 2012

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She calls you stupid? thats ****** up.

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Im sorry you are going through this....

I would say to try and talk to your mom and be honest... speak from your heart..

tell her you are still adjusting to this whole separation and you are having a hard time.. you feel misplaced and sad. Tell her you dont want to come across as selfish, you are just trying to figure out your place in all of this. You want to spend time with her but just you and her. Tell her it really hurts you when she calls you stupid.

If you can't sit with her and talk then write her a letter!

hugs xo

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Tell her you can't adjust to her new bf replacing your dad so fast. Tell her any human being needs some space and time to breathe and sort out things. If you need more support, I'd call your real dad.

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Tell a guidence counselor-your mother is abusive

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I'm sorry that your mother was so selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings.

She's the mother and is required for your benefit to be the responsible one.

Whatever may have happened in their relationship should not become your problem.

After all you love your dad and still need him very much.

And now he's out of your life and your mother has quickly replaced him for a short period of time with this new guy.

And sadly enough there will be another new guy to replace him.

I don't know how old you are but I suggest that you grow up quickly so that you can handle all the disappointments coming your way.

Call your dad and spend some quality time with him.

I'm sure he needs you just as much as you need him.

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Just for the record .... Your mother has her priorities mixed up. There may come a time and I guaranteeing you she will regret everything that has upset you. First off tell her in a moment of peaceful not in anger that you miss the times with her when it was you and her. The boyfriend is a tool she is using to boost her self esteem and to make her feel validated as a woman. what ever the reason for your parents to split is in no way your fswer for later in life as you never addressed your age.. They separated and that is the bottom line. She will have a lot to an

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I think in some ways you are taking out your resentment at your father on your mother. Your opinion that your mother "JUMPED" into another relationship is NOT your councern. You do not know how long your parents relationship had been failing. Maybe she had not had love in her life for some time. What you have done is judge your mothers actions when you have no real right to do so. She has a right to be happy. Just because you are still adjusting to it does not mean the world stops for you. You are 16-17 and need to realize parents are people also. It would be different if you were 8 or 10.



I was first going to suggest you tell her you are sorry, but then again, don't do that if you are not. You seem to think that she should be doing things according to your agenda. Maybe you need to go live with Daddy.

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You didn't do anything wrong. It sounds like you have an unreasonably selfish mother. I'm not sure how to fix it.

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It's going to take some time on this one, mom got a new lover, want you to except him, but it's not in your heart to except another man, it's like trying to make you choose, not fair to you, but Talk to mom let her know your feeling and it would be good for you and her to spend some quality time just the two of you and talk it out.

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That new bf has no business in your house. I don't recommend it, but I'd tell her to drop that idiot and go buy a vibrator. He is an idiot or a sandbagger. She should drop him.

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