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I got married at 19, he was 22. This was almost 7 years ago. We married after only knowing each other for 5 months. Things seemed wonderful at first. The I realized how lazy he was and he never wanted to go anywhere or do anything with me. He spends his days on the computer, going to work, and sleeping. My son asks his father to play with him or go somewhere and almost always gets a no. I've given up. I feel almost nothing for him anymore. He does nothing, he disgusts me, annoys me, flat out makes me angry! I don't even think I'd care if he left tomorrow. There isn't anything about him I can even think of that I like! It's awful and I feel terrible, but most of the time I don't even want to be in the same room with him. I'm only 26, I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling unloved, lonely, and angry. I want my son to have a loving supportive, involved father. What do I do???
lostinreverie lostinreverie 26-30, F 8 Answers Apr 4, 2011

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You are too dependent on him, and you want him to serve you and your son. Now that you have identified he's laziness, you go do your own fun, maybe even with your son at times. Take up fitness, bowling, community projects, clubs. After a while he will join you or leave you.

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Wow. Well sex is one thing paying attention to a child's needs is another and sometimes people don't know what in the hell they want, they only think they know. Have you tried talking to him? If you have with nil results then leaving just might wake him out of his self centered and self absorbed shell

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Smh. You can't teach a man how to be different you two. A man is who he is. He might make a few adjustments but no woman can change a man. The change comes from within. And how can you teach when the lesson should have started long ago?<br />
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Matter of fact, this is a lesson for many women. For all women actually. Take the time to learn your man before committing yourself to marriage. Know what you getting into. I tell women all the time. A man is going to show what he's all about if you take the time.<br />
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First lets just celebrate the good qualities. At least your husband is not out somewhere else besides your home. At least he comes home. At least he's not sitting around doing nothing, he has a job. Does he work long hours? Is he stressed about his job? I don't know the situation but women often will think of themselves and then use the child as the bargaining tool. Listen don't take offense to what I'm saying. I'm giving the blunt truth instead of answering the way you want me to or the way you have others answering your question. We, the members, don't know what goes on in your home. There can be reason that both of you two are to blame. He's lazy but has a job? You can't stand him because he doesn't take you out anywhere? Lets just look at your question heading. First you stated YOU don't do anything romantic with your husband. Then you proceed to say HE is lazy and doesn't pay attention to your son. Honestly, don't use the son as an argument tool. Don't put your child in the middle like that. That's still his father whether you leave or not. Thats not good to do that. To say you want your son to having a loving and supportive father, I understand. But isn't he doing that now financially? I have reason to believe you're a stay at home mom, correct? The problem is that he's not supporting YOU emotionally or his son.<br />
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Then you realize he's lazy after 7 years? It took 7 years to finally realize that? C'mon. Lets be real. The going is getting tough a little bit and now you two are at the stage where instead of fighting together as a team you two are fighting against each other. I'm not defending him. I'm defending the union. You two been together 7 years. Thats a long time. Longer than most. Something kept you there for 7 years. Instead of allowing the easy way out (anger, fustration) why don't you two have a sit down. Express your feelings BUT DO NOT ATTACK. I repeat DO NOT ATTACK. Work to salvage your marriage.<br />
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But if you're saying you can't find anything you like about him, then you have your answer. Trust me, your man might not be the best but he's probably alot better than the trash out there. And your son will see men come and go out of your life. Which in the end isn't good. You two took vows. Through thick and thin. If not, leave him...don't waste each others time. All in all, eliminate the bullshit and get to the nitty gritty. Get to the root to save th

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Sounds like you don't have what it takes to engage and intoxicate him. Have you ever had an ******? Would you/have you ever fingered off in front of him? Would you grease up the pooper and stick it in his face so he can take you the 'dirty' way? It's a two way street. Maybe it is his fault, but before you judge and leave him put in some effort.

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Talk to him about it and address your concerns. Tell him that you feel he should be more involved as a husband and father. If you both discuss this issue and nothing comes of it; yes, you should leave him. It's your life, take control of it.

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Yes, hear the words of evilparentstoo.

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Yes

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