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I have had discussions with some of these very sweet and intelligent women and I do feel respect for them as I feel they are choosing this lifestyle choice freely. I just cannot help but feel that they are involved with angry, controlling, and very mean men. They assert that they are happy, even blissful. Still i always feel sorry and sad for them. My own hubby does not assert authority over me (I'd like to see him try lol), and I find myself appreciating my hubby all the more. I mean no offence to anyone, just wondered if its just me that feels so bad for them.
gumshoejane2 gumshoejane2 36-40, F 30 Answers Nov 19, 2011

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I feel sorrier for the women who attempt to feel sorry for the ones enjoying their lives.

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I must agree with this!
I dominate women (and feel that I am pretty good at
doing it and understanding thier needs and the psychology behind the need.)
You don't need to feel sorry for people that are TRULY expressing and exploring thier needs!
The ones to feel sorry for are the women that do not have a choice and have fallen for an Alpha male with a lower brain cell count than testorone levels.
I feel I can rule myself out of the above>

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If you enjoy your life thats wonderful, it is your life, it is fleeting and precious so best to make the most of it.
My concern is with those individuals who feel ALL women SHOULD be obedient to their husbands, and that husbands SHOULD have authority over their wives.
There are no shoulds in life, folks have a right to live their lives freely, and with love and respect.

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In my opinion, a male with a low IQ isn't an alpha male...

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Oh I hope you're right lol.

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Jayne, sorry I'd it sounds like I am sticking my head right up your metaphorical ***, but some of writings leave me breathless with admiration, this being one of them. I entirely agree that life is fleeting, no trial run, no online manual..we have to make the most of it. But we also have a duty not to harm others who are trying to do the same. I will write a reply to your question which I think explores this further.

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Not necessarily. There are some good, intelligent males with leadership skills that can be considered Alpha types.

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The one who gives control is the one who has the most control. There are abusive relationships that are to be pitied. But there are also healthy dom/sub relationships that work because that's what the couple enjoys. Many subs would look at your relationship and be sad because you don't know the true joy of submission. I look at it like most other things. We all are who we are, and need what we need. Might not make sense to you, but then, it doesn't have to.

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Very well said and I do agree.

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Exactly!

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Quit analyzing and reducing the primitive, the sensual, and the profound to politically correct concepts. It can't be done. You have no idea how happy those women and men are, because you have not connected to the depths and don't have the tools to do so. Truly, it is none of your business what others do of their free will.

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Yeah, can't agree more! This is not something you can rationalize. There are no enough words to describe love and passion.

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Yeah I agree. The depth of understanding between two people involved in this way is tremendous

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Alex, what do you mean I don't have the tools to do so?

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Atleast we all understand the differance between submissiveness and abuse. Kind of like loyalty verses domestic violence. Loyalty is much better.

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crap

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I completely and emphatically disagree with you understandingus.
I would love for you to try that **** on me!

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You have missed the BEAUTY of the forest looking at 1 tree..... Obvisly u think about this a lot.... EVER WONDER WHY????? and most HUMAN experiances are well represented on a bell shaped curve....

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I agree with you 100%. What a miserable life, not being free. How depressing.

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I do not understand this "submission" stuff, and I do not want to understand it. There are many lifestyles that are perfectly fine for others, but I know I would not want to try. Each to his own, and may we all be happy.

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I still believe men are the head of the home and should support his family completely.<br />
I respect men that have a beautiful family that he is in charge of and I honestly think I am happy as a stay at home mom. <br />
Its not about control its about being a rock that holds the family up while the mom is the glue that holds the family together

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And don't feel sorry for me I am happy.
Having a strong husband doesn't mean he abuses his wife it simply mean he has expectations.
abuse is never okay and you need to understand the different.

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How can a person feel sorry for anothers actions when they know they have choices.. some easy.. some hard. With police I pulled guys my size off of tiny women beating them bad.. and the woman coming after us with brooms telling us not to hurt the guy.. and her face being half swollen. Like a kicked dog or stockholm syndrome.. keep going back because they think nothing else is better

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I don't feel sorry for sub wives, they have chosen to accept this role for whatever reason, and they have a right to do so. I do however feel sorry for their children. The daughters learn that as a female they are inferior to males, somehow less intelligent, less able to contribute to society and that they should capitulate to the primary male in the house and accept physical and emotional abuse. The sons, while no doubt being ruled by the fathers so not being given the opportunity to learn the skills of self determination feel that when they marry should take on the responsibility of HoH for them to be able to define themselves as a man. This indoctrination neednt be a concious effort by the parents, children learn from observation, and things learned early in childhood are incredibly difficult to 'unlearn' . Witness the fact that over 90% of those that are brought up in any particular religion from an early age remain life long devotees....suffer little children to come unto me.

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No I think daugters and sons learn from everyone around them includng religion. They take notice of there freinds too and the parents too. I think its not inferior if they like it

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no i like submissiveness, it makes me more humble in my spirit and feel more feminine but i dont tolerate abuse

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No, I am right beside ya. A submissive woman doesn't have a husband but a master. And those type of marriages are abundant even now.

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Saying that you can define a D/s relationship is like saying you dont like chinese food BECUSE you tried "top ramen"... I have had relationships w many wemon in my life...including 1 that has totaled over 20 years... and others that lasted mear hours...*GRINZ* .... I can swere to one thing! That they all had one thing in comman....and that is: THEY WERE ALL UNIQUE AND DIFFRENT FROM EACH OTHER! Only a fool would say that every one had the same experiance twice.

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No, if they choose to live that way then there is nothing to feel sorry about.

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Why feel sorry for women who choose to be submissive? As long as they are submissive to compassionate, respectful, caring men I don't see the conundrum. There is less chance of drama and confusion when there is no doubt as to who is in charge. How else would you want a household to be run; through democracy? Democracy doesn't work when there are equal numbers of people involved, unless you and your spouse are in agreement on everything. It is better to have specific roles assigned for the happiness of the family bc compromise only leads to both parties not getting what they want.

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I dont think there angry men maybe controleing but not mean. no need to feel sorry fo r women who are blisfull

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I am a dom... but you need to understand that a lot of people are abused... I have ruined a marrage by spending time w an abused woman every day for six weeks.... I gave her privet INTENSIVE lessons in jujitsu(self defense) she never laid a hand on him the entire time... I watched her take black eyes and bruises 1 to3 times a week ... then ... she got the confidance to defend herself when he was drunk. He took three a$$ kickings in 1 week. Then he moved out and never came back... I was aproched by her friend to hurt her abusive husband... she offered to pay me... I offered to teach her and she refused... I walked away and did not get involved... the one girl wanted to change... the othher girl wanted revenge but to stay... again I coment on how we all fit on bell shaped curves... some men use dd/s to run a healthy /happy family....other men use it to justify abuse...

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What i read its not disipline when you lose your temper and hit. What thy do is talk about it first so they both know what its for and know whats coming

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no -t bugs me-My roommate is nice and sweet and her husband doesn't think hes 'bad to her. For 8 mos I have llived with them-she always acts like she's in controll-no way. Makes dislike men

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Its OK. Sometomes the woman wears the pants. Thats all. Good luck to your hubby..

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