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My eyes are so heavy actually my whole body is, I've had Alot of tramua I'm my childhood I'm 19 now and have shoved It under the rug for years and not let go, I'm someone who doesnt cry I haven't cried for as long as I Can remember, I'm having these werid things happen were I start to shake and go cold And my eyes well up and I just want to breakdown but force myself not to, It happens so so frequent I worry bout leaving the house. I don't no to do, I'm In so much emotional pain, I've got no 1 to Talk to my friends run wen I tell them something negative Or dont listen and my family ave told me they don't want to no Ive been goingvto a councilor for 2 years but not opened up Cause I no I'll cry and now I don't c her till nxt week, I don't what to do, I'm scared I'll have a nervous breakdown But I don't no what to do or how to start or where There is never a place or time In my home:(
md50495 md50495 18-21, F 4 Answers Jan 25, 2012

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You have to open up to your counsellor, don't be afraid to cry...let it out it's good for you. Holding it in can drive you crazy. Open yourself to getting the help you need, learn to become a survivor so that you can stop being a victim. Take care and all the best to you.

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Sounds like your child hood gave you PTSD . Been there to at one time during my child hood I lost the ability to feel anything for a while, it's like my emotions just shut down. You should see a psychologist, I'm going to as soon as I can set up an appointment, I have insurance now and I can finally work on this.

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