Well, I'm 13, and most people my age don't want to hear my opinions either, they just don't care.
i find it really helps if i take a moment to remember how i felt and what the world looked like to me when i was younger, before i open my mouth. the conversation is a lot more interesting that way ;)
Maybe its your approach. I've been a coach for youth sports and have often been pleasantly surprised by how receptive, engaging and insightful many of the teens have been. I have learned not to lecture, and not to act like I know it all. I still have some of my former pla<x>yers call me and ask for advice.
I think it is because they think they already know it all and they figure your ideas are outdated.
when I was a teenager I wouldn't listen to adults for a few reasons. Which I now do not agree with.<br />
1. They are uncool.<br />
2. They are hypocrites. They tell you not to do anything bad for you but they do and they did at your age too and they want you to be all clean and celibate and conservative. To hell with that.<br />
3. Their advice had never worked for me in the past because you cannot try to deal with teenager problems like you do adult problems because it won't work--everyone is immature and stupid and the rules are different.<br />
So perhaps that teenager is like I was as a teen!
We talk. That is what we do. They can listen or not. Later we can always find comfort in saying "I told you so!".
A lot of young people enjoy listening/talking to adults as long as it's NOT their parents! By the same token, a lot of us are more patient with other peoples' kids than with our own. That's what is so great about extended families and multi-age communities.
LOL Kind of like trying to voice your opinion here on EP.<br />
Teenagers think they know everything because they're younger and have access to newest information. I usually let them be. No need to waste my breath.<br />
I only engage in discussion or argument when they actually invite me.
It is all because your crap has no place in his story.
It was amazing how 'smart' my parents got between my ages of 16 and 21!
i am a supporter on ehealth.com. i want you to try reasoning with a 14 y.o that says they're in love and want a baby so bad. i think i lost 5 years of my life on them stressing me out so i don't answer questions teens ask.<br />
my son is a teen and i don't want to be bothered with him. lol
I am 58. The trouble with adults interacting with children and teens is that adults preach or lecture to them. Adults seldom have conversations with them.<br />
My parents were pretty good most of the time. When they went wrong, it was because they tried to lecture me about things they knew nothing about and they were hypocritical. Both of my parents drank alcohol. My mother was a functioning alcoholic. She also took amphetamines, which to her was okay because a doctor gave them to her. Yet they preached to me about drugs -- and I largely discounted what they had to say on the subject. At the same time, sex was NEVER discussed with me -- until it was too late and my girlfriend was pregnant.<br />
I read, researched, observed, asked questions, and experimented with drugs, alcohol, and sex. I knew the "Demon weed" (pot) was less trouble and more benign than was alcohol. I was ill informed about sex.<br />
I was determined not to emulate the things my parents did poorly and to repeat what they did well. I did not deal with very young children well at all -- how can you have a conversation with them. You have to be didactic and directive. <br />
But once my kids reached their teen years, I talked with them and tried very hard not to lecture or preach. As a consequence, I was brutally honest about myself and things I did or had done. I did not order them not to do drugs or not to have sex. We discussed facts, opinions, philosophy, risk analysis and risk taking. I offered advice and tried to put it in context using anecdotes from my own experiences.<br />
It worked exceptionally well. Neither had any serious problems, neither got into trouble, and both successfully reached adulthood as good and responsible men, each of whom made their own informed choices (different from each others) and each comfortable with the decisions he made. Both are successful men, husbands, and fathers today.<br />
Sure, there were certain rules I set that were inviolable. If you decide to have sex, always use a condom. If you are going to drink or take drugs, know what you are taking, the effects, etc. Never drive or operate machinery under the influence. Never get high at school or work. Never get high before school or work. Getting high is an entertainment activity and needs to be left to times when it will not adversely affect the rest of your responsible adult life (basically Friday nights, Saturday, and Saturday night.<br />
If you are using drugs or alcohol as a medication, don't, and go see a doctor for professional help.<br />
Teens need parental and adult guidance, but by nature they are rebellious and experimental. If you talk with them, not to them, they will listen. Sometimes they will take your advice and other times they will not. Such is life.
keep expressing them some day they will remember and maybe have learned something
Don't you know by the time they turn 13 they already know more than we do and it only gets worse....<br />
Take joy in knowing they to will have children one day...lol
who cares if they wants 2 hear it or not Someones gotta enlighten em - just dont lecture, they hate that but even when they act like they aint listenin, and they b rollin their eyes, they thinks about it alot
u r rly kewl!
Hey there, speak your mind, woman!