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Someone said to me "you deserve better, you deserve someone who actually wants to be with you and have a relationship with you and is sure about it, move on, protect your heart". I don't know about protecting my heart. I don't know anything about it. I don't know when to walk out of a "heart-risky" situation. Any advice?
Mkarronni Mkarronni 31-35, F 17 Answers Jan 7, 2010

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Most women cant do the FWB thing. They inevitably fall for the guy<br />
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But I suspect that your hope from the otuset was that hed fall for you if he was intimate.<br />
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Guys dont work that way

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cut it off now. It's going to hurt twice as hard if you let yourself fall deeper into this miserable love spiral.

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If you hadn't given up the "benefits" in the first place you wouldn't be in this mess. This is a perfect example of how casual sex can cause severe problems.<br />
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If you had done things in order, he would have already dumped you and you might have found the right guy by now.<br />
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So. .what do you do now? Either keep banging his brains out to keep him around or break up and move on. I guess you could try cutting him off and seeing if he sticks around, but I'm guessing from you description of the situation that he'd be gone pretty quickly.<br />
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Do you really want to base your relationship on that?<br />
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Anyway. . . I'd say you should move on and try to do things in the right order with the next guy. . . no more BENEFITS.

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Its better not to complicate love n friendship by mixin them 2gether

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Explain to him what you are looking for and how you feel, ask him what he is looking for and how he feels. With that out in the open, I think the decision will be easy.

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Unlelss you can convince him to fall in love with you or convince yourself to be okay being friends with benifits there isn't any way to protect your heart.

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wear a heart condom, or then you'll have a bunch of little hearts running around.

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There is only one way to tell. You must test him. Get a copy of the book, The Rules, to see how. My guess is that you may lose him for a little while, but he'll be back. My ex-husband of 20 years lived with me for 2 years before we got married. He would not say we would, and I was so unhappy and thought at 26 I didn't want to waste my life. So after I was seen at a restaurant with another man, he called to accuse me. I knew he had been doing the same thing and worse on his business trips. I called him and told him to pick up all his belongings while I was at work. We were both MISERABLE for 3 months. He took another girl to Disneyworld and slept with her. It was like a death, but my relationship with Jesus took over where he left off. We got back together, were totally celibate, and were married on a cruise ship in six months! <br />
Never forget that men have hearts, too. But they want the fairy tale. Give it to him. But if he is Mr. Wrong, Mr. Right will come. And then play by the rules and live Happilly Ever After. (P. S. Keep yourself up. Men have been known to do anything for beauty.)

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.....first, and last, and always, be true to yourSELF. <br />
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if you want a commitment, that's ok. if you want a f*** buddy, that is also ok. <br />
if you start as FWB and your feelings change, it's still ok. <br />
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be true to who you are and be honest. let him know what you want. <br />
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if you are less than authentic , you will be cheating yourself. <br />
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you can protect your heart, by being very much in charge, of whom you give it to . . . . . . <br />
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i wish you all the best . . .

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Love is always a gamble. I believe each person has to find their own answer. Basic question: does "love" mean an emotional/intellectual bond, or does it mean exclusive physical ownership?

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