Seriously you really are probably going to be around for years and you are only making it that much more difficult on yourself. <br />
I know that you feel abandoned by someone else. The problem now is you have abondoned yourself.<br />
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I would say that this other person needed to get out because they were not dealing with all of this.<br />
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It won't help bring them back only drive them away farther. Getting back will be hard. If you need help you can talk on EP but you really need to call a crisis hotline. You will do that because the pain...<br />
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The sooner the better but at least you know there is help out there when you decided you have to have it.

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I can't talk to anyone and no one can help me. The doctors have given me 7 years tops. I will call nothing, I want to die... not cuz we actually have something like that here
I need only suicide help, nothing else

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well I've been there (in death, near death, coma whatever) for almost a week, believe me, it feels not better than this life, u see no lights, no fire,no God neither devil just blackout, only blackout, cold, cant move, and u'll wish with all wishes left, to back to ur life how bitter it was (am serious 4 this 1)

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hang on in there buddy. I dont know what the situation is but you seem to have been through a lot. but the fact you are still kicking means you are in fact coping. While thinking you cant bear it anymore, infact you are bearing, now more of that courage!

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I am only alived cuz my lord has not allowed me the easy way of suicide but I am as we speaking, dying

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no you are alive because you have the courage to live. no one is in control of that apart from you. when dying is better than living, it takes real courage to live

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No I have no courage just a death wish

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I'm pretty sure you circumstances would change if you let go of your SWEET LORD LUCIFER. <br />
He doesn't seem to be EMBRACING YOU very well.<br />
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~ EMPBRACE LOVE AND LOVE WILL TAKE YOU TO HEIGHTS YOUR MIND CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE ~

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Lucifer is the lightbringer.. he has made sure I will not have to suffer when I die

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