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Im hopeless..i want to sleep and never wake up to have a silent death..i dnt deserve this life...im not a lucky guy..im cursed. My biological parents gave me to my fmily now..so i guess they dnt love me..d only persn who genuinely love me was my mom but she died in an accident..i hate myself..God doesnt care abt me, i cant feel his presence no matter hw mny times i prayd..**** life, ppl are so greedy, selfish and superficial, i have no true frnds..they r a big pretenders and backstabbers..i dnt need them, and now..i found out i cnt graduate frm college nxt year bcuz of my 2 left subjcts..it sucks, everytime i want to change and b a better prson...i cant. I wish i jst a bird so i cn fly..away frm this world.. Being a human is so hard to live.. If only i cn go bck with a time machine and fix my past..i would...f only i cud..im gonna kill myself now .so much of this pain..so much of this tears...even f i die no one really cares..no one loves me so better to end it... :'(
theguycm theguycm 18-21, M 20 Answers Nov 7, 2012 in Community

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:( if you never turn another page it will be a wasted story. Stay strong.

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I hope im strong enough..thanks :)

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Trust me, death holds no comfort, I've been to the edge and back 2x. I was on a ventilator for 4 days from my first attempt. What's on the other side is some scarey **** compared to the stuff you are facing here. You've got your whole life ahead of you. You see that little kid in my avatar picture, That's my Grandson! If it weren't for him and my children, I wouldn't be here. You haven't even begun to live. My Daughters' boyfriend is in the same state of mind as you. His Mother died of cancer when he was three, if he can make it through this, so can you. Don't wait for life to come to you, GO OUT AND GET IT! I wish I was your age again, so many things I would do differently. If I had only known then, what I know now. Stay Strong, don't give up!

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Thank you sir..God bless to ur family. Im better now.

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Im so sorry about your mum, but your life is just beginning. You have so much time to fix things

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Thank u :)

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your welcome =) Its easy to get lost in the moment and not see a difference in the future when your young i remember from your age ;)

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I dont think you really do or you wouldn't be telling us........ when one steps out and shares such raw feelings its a cry for HELP!! --not a story with an ending.

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u're right..i need help. I need someone to talk to. Thanks

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You're at a tough age and you've had a lot of trauma in your life. You have every right to feel that pain and rage. Trauma scars us in so many ways. I understand how you feel hopeless. I am in no way patronizing you here, I'm just letting you know it can get better. You really need a professional to talk to about this. Suicidal thoughts can be a sign of a chemical imbalance. It might just help to learn ways to cope with stress like the college thing. The people you hang out with, you might want to consider losing if that's how they treat you. It's hard to back away from your friends, I know...even when they treat you like crap they're still your friends. But you're better alone than suffering at the hands of people you can walk away from. Now, as for gods, I don't believe in them, and i believe I was around your age when I stopped feeling any faith in God at all. It was VERY BAD for me. I felt cut off from my comfort. But you know what? It eventually gets better. Most people will latch on to something else, like other religions or philosophies. We're always changing and growing. Your life could take a turn for the better next week. You really never know until you get there. Even the best-laid plans can go afoul, but those crushed dreams are your foundation to build your adult life on. It sucks, but it's a ritual we all go through in one way or another. Take care and find something to love here on this earth. There really is a lot of good and a lot of good people too. You just need to work on being the kind of person who attracts those people, and then remember to treat them well.

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Thanks for d good advice :) im better now..

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%96 of your life is just like mine, i attempted to suiside few years ago but i couldn't cuz deep inside me i knew there is hope.<br />
now my life is much better but it stile sucks.<br />
god is testing you, he want to see if you are going to break under pressure or not.<br />
always remember life is full of surprises.

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Thank u :) atleast i knw im not alone..

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hey you never alone, you just need a good friend

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:) thanks..im much better now than hours ago

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If you end your life, its just another wasted and another meaningless life, that will become a statistic. If you fight for it, if you try change it from the negative it is, to the positive it could be, you will achieve something. Whats the point of giving up and taking the easy way out? So what if you are slower than others to get to some point, as long as you get there eventually. (Your degree). Ultimately it is of course your choice. So what if people are back stabbers and hypocrites, do they affect the course of your life? You are lonely like most of us, but you can get lucky and meet someone who will prove to be a true friend who stands by you. You will find love, but first, try love yourself.

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Thanks for d advice :) ..i shud love myself

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Yes you should. If you find things to love about yourself, others will too. Good luck.

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I know exactly how you feel. But you gotta stay strong. We ALL have to stay strong. You can do it, i know you can :)

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:) thanks..stay strong..

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Very welcome :)

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You will survive this!!! Go distract yourself if you can. The only way to get love is to give love. It is everywhere, if you are open. The school thing is just about done hey? Congratulations you are already ahead of most people. The other two courses well can you take them as evening classes or summer or online?? Your life force is still strong otherwise you would not be so angry. You are very strong, otherwise you wouldn't be posting this. I have suicidal depression and get it all too well. This may be a situational thing but you being in a deep dark place have to put some safety nets in place; as if you are walking a tight rope. A chemical imbalance can lead to suicidal thinking and well the mood you are in. <br />
Ask yourself what makes you smile even when you dont feel like it???<br />
A puppy licking your face; go to the animal shelter Favorite comedy or movie - put it on. Hot bath- go run it just examples right<br />
Music is an instant mood changer for me put on something that will draw you out of that mood. Excercise like go to the pool or run. Get some spiritual connection that resonates with you. Remember never give in and never give up. Most importantly just chill today, you are going to have to learn to nurture yourself and learn quick.

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Thanks for d good advice :)

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I hope it helps you. Remember everything changes if you wait long enough. In your up times you have to make them reach far enough so you cant sink in the bad times.

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:) is that u on the pic?

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You've got your dastardly-good looks at least.

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thanks man..

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i love to commit suicide too... then it struck me all of a sudden... what if hell is real? then forever i will suffer there... FOREVER IN HELL? i can't take it...i tried everything i can to change...nothing works except this :<br />
<br />
http://www.unshackled.org/listen_home.html<br />
<br />
or<br />
<br />
http://unshackled.org/<br />
<br />
--> "here" below label "unshackled"<br />
--> "listen online" at the top<br />
choose what year<br />
CHOOSE WHICH TRUE STORY<br />
<br />
<br />
======================================================

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Thanks..

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So do I but the thought of how I've suffered loved ones passing purposely or unfortunate health reasons I feel compelled to stay around on the behalf of people who love me.. they know my thoughts and would hate to leave them in grief ba<x>sed on my own selfishness.. it runs deep...

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Thank u :)

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You're at a tough age going through a tough time. Just keep.plugging away at your degree. It's not a race.Just chip away by taking the right classes. Once you graduate or even before you can get a good job( or any job) and make your life what you want. Sure money won't buy happiness but at least it gives you freedom and then you can go where YOU want to go to make friends and build your own life with people you CHOOSE as friends. You can't solve every one of your problems overnight. Prioritize and work on a couple specific problem areas in your life. Yes , you may have it rough ( me too) but you can only blame your problems on someone else so much.You're an adult and now what's important is what YOU do from now on. You're young,you have a lot of time to sort things out.Your life can change in an instant with meeting the right girl or a new friend. Life is going to be hard. You will learn how to cope.Just take it one day at time.If you are VERY suicidal than arrange to talk to someone in the mental health or counseling business. You are responsible for how your life goes now. You can pull out of this slump.Good luck.

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Thanks for d good advice :)

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Why would you tell hundreds or thousands of strangers, if you were really going to do it?

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I think i jst need to speak out what i feel..

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ya know somethiong, i want to end my life to but its kinda sad that your still young and you want to kill yours still young and want to die well ya know what lifes hard its a ***** but you have to deal with the fact thye world is a cold dark place and you may never survive boohoo stop feeling sorry for yourslef get up and be as proud as you can be i dont care if are deprsed you need to get out of that damn chair get dressed and go out into the world..yeah so waht if lifes a ***** thats waht makes life you have your ups you have your downs and you have the ***** of life, life is nothing its just something were all of us live in till were dead, plus if you have friends what are thyey gonna the gonna thin k when your dead? huh? exsacily they will miss you and so will your family. your not thinking about how it would affect them your only thinking about yourself stop that! and stop it now, you need to be happy that youi even made it thes far in life just remeber when you had ahppy times not depresing times you have think positve not negative think happy not sad..dont you hear what i am telling you? so stop feeling sorry for your slef, get up, and happy as fugging hell!

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Thank u :)

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I hear bleach works really well. Plus god doesn't exist so that's probably why you can't feel or hear him. lol Please take this in mind though before you kill yourself. There is NO afterlife so when you die your thoughts and everything that you know ceases to exist. Your done. Time will move on and with years no one will ever know that you were ever born. It's just life, so do what you want.

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Sorry that you feel that way.<br />
<br />
There's more to life than the bad.<br />
<br />
Look at the bright side.

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